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Better to Marry Than to Burn?

If you’ve read the Bible or been in church for any length of time and have heard a sermon on pre-marital sex; you are familiar with the scripture in 1 Corinthians 7 that says it is better to marry than to burn. This scripture has been used in Christian circles and even in dating relationships to justify a hurried sprint to the altar for legal sex in God’s eyes.

I believe the misinterpretation of this scripture not only contributes to people rushing to the altar for legal sex, but an increased divorce rate among Christians and an increased sneering of religious saints who lacked self-control while single judging others who decide to remain single as if being single is equivalent with sexual sin.

It feeds into a lie that says if we aren’t married, we cannot have self-control, but within a marriage, self-control is a rite as the legal sex within marriage solves the issue of self-control when it comes to sexual temptation. However, honest married people will tell you that temptation doesn’t stop after marriage.

Marry than to burn

Some married people share that temptation can be greater as a married person and understandably so. A married person who exercises their right to partake in the undefiled waters of sexual love will have greater sensitivity in their sexual passions than someone who has not practiced having sex for some time.

There can be a temptation to try something new with someone outside of the marriage covenant, to commit adultery when one marriage partner feels their needs aren’t being met and someone else is willing to meet them. There is still a need for self-control while married.

Just getting married was never the target of God nor apostle Paul for his people when he wrote that it’s better to marry than to burn. God’s character in the way that he does things for us is to give us his very best. A part of God’s very best is when providing a spouse, doing so with us exercising our right as singles to practice the discernment necessary to ensure we are marrying someone complimentary or suitable to us.

Marry than to burn

To marry someone complimentary to us; there has to be a level of self-control in getting to know our future spouse. This is something the Corinthian church struggled with. Corinth was a hub for sexual worship. There was the temple of Aphrodite, the goddess of love and sex, and other temples where the primary function was sexual acts that were practiced as a form of worship. It was expected for visitors to visit the temples for sexual play as a sort of tourist attraction.

With all of the freedom to express one’s-self freely outside of the covenant of marriage, there was great temptation―so much so that the Corinthian church began to write to Apostle Paul asking him questions about what they could do and what they could not do. This is why 1 Corinthians 7 starts by saying the below:

Now concerning the matters you wrote unto me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman; nevertheless, to avoid sexual immorality, let every man have his own wife and every woman her own husband.

– 1 Corinthians 7 :1

Next, are a short series of instructions about not withholding sex from one another within marriage for too long even while fasting so Satan does not get a chance to tempt the couple due to their incontinency. Incontinency is another word for lack of self-control. This is something older people experience when they are unable to control when they go to the bathroom. The same meaning is used for someone unable to control their sexual desires.

marry than to burn

Finally, verses 7-9 share that Paul recommends that we would all be single as he is, but if we cannot contain; it is better to marry than to burn. This was shared by Paul as a concession. It was not a command from God, but rather Paul giving in to the demands and proposals of those who had previously written him.

However, many in the church have taken this scripture to mean that believers are commanded to marry due to lack of self-control when God has more for us within a marriage partnership than sexual release. Don’t get me wrong sexual release is good within marriage, but sexual release within marriage isn’t enough to hold a marriage together.

The research shows that as Christian married couples age the likelihood of divorce increases. What if there was not enough time taken at the beginning of dating and courtship to focus on really getting to know the person to see if they were suitable? What if the greater emphasis was placed on the physical alone and getting to the marriage bed only?

We could have lots of couples married and having legal sex with nothing in common to sustain the relationship, but the children that are produced. Once the children are grown and moved out what will the couple have in common?

What if God’s preferred will for us is for us to remain single like Apostle Paul while learning how to maintain self-control in our bodies as single believers until we meet someone suitable for us? What if more problems will be caused in the flesh through our lack of self-discipline as singles that will show up later in our marriage?

What if Paul’s message of sharing that it is far better to be single produced in believers a greater self-discipline, patience, and virtues that allow us to better reflect the image of Christ? After all, single believers do not have the same distractions as married people. We can focus solely on pleasing the Lord.

As we grow in the Lord—Christ’s fruit is produced within us. We learn to operate out of temperance and following the Spirit rather than a lack of self-control. This allows the patience we need to choose more wisely when it comes to a spouse. This way when marrying we do not rush to the altar simply out of a lack of self-control, but out of maturity and finding a partner well suitable for us to walk out the rest of our years.

I really do believe God has his best for us, but in God’s goodness, he allows concessions due to the weakness of our flesh. Jesus did something similar with divorce. Divorce was allowed due to the hardness of men’s hearts, but it was never God’s will.

The reality is marriage is serious and should not be entered into lightly. If a lack of sexual control is the only reason we decide to marry; I do not believe it will have the greatest chance at lasting. Our sexual passions can blind us during the process of choosing a mate and we can choose someone very poor for us. Choosing wisely is one of the determining factors of married couples staying together.

I believe Apostle Paul knew this and sought to warn the Corinthian church of this, but nevertheless, God’s grace is sufficient for us.

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Tabitha Brown & Her Response to Wendy Williams

Tabitha Brown & Her Response to Wendy Williams Shows Us 3 Things

Tabitha Brown, a social media influencer and trained actress was the center of one of Wendy William’s recent hot topics. Tabitha recently shared how her husband and herself had an agreement that Tabitha’s husband would work as a police officer to support Tabitha’s dreams of being an actress and entrepreneur. Now that Tabitha is successful, she is retiring her husband from the police force so he can pursue his dreams. He desires to put more into his non-for-profit in coaching young people.

This is a beautiful story that was turned negative based on the experience of Wendy Williams. She’d made more than her husband and shared how they did not work out in their scenario. She assumed that Wendy will now have a rocky marriage as well. Tabitha Brown corrected Wendy setting the story straight in such a graceful way while encouraging us all that real genuine and supportive love when someone sees you and values you for you is possible. See the video below:

We should not Provide Advice Out of Our Bitterness Nor Negative Experience

It’s just that simple. When we are in a negative space about our own experience, we have to honestly work through that without putting that outcome on others. We cannot share advice out of our negative experiences as if it should be the rule for others.

God warns us of this very thing in the below scriptures:

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness, no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. – Hebrews 12:14-15

Often, when we are bitter we do not realize it until someone shows us something different. Then we are awakened from our stupor of bitterness that has blinded us to only believe that one particular outcome is possible. This is why it’s so important to have a balanced community of others in our lives who can wake us up when we fall into stupors of bitterness. Tabitha did this in such a graceful manner not only preventing Wendy from continuing in her stupor of bitterness from her own experience but the millions of others watching and listening.

When God is in a Thing, He can Defy the Statistics

Yes, there is research that shows the below regarding households where women make more money than men:

  • Men in those households are more likely to cheat.
  • Men feel more confused about their role and contribution to the household.
  • Men are often insecure and intimidated by their women making more.

Read more about married households and incomes here. While this research is true in some cases; it does not have to be true in every case. In marriages, where God is at the center; God’s grace can be the power that causes those marriages to defy the odds. God’s grace is not only his goodness toward us but also his power to accomplish the seemingly impossible. What is impossible with man is possible with God. As believers, we are to live by faith applying the principles of God’s word to our lives and marriages for those who are married. Biblical marriage is not grounded by who makes the most money, but by things like submission to one another, real genuine love that requires sacrifice—something that Tabitha shared. We have to watch our thinking as believers making sure we aren’t conforming to the standards of the world and we’ll be able to avoid some of the pitfalls of the world when we think higher and bigger according to God’s word.

via GIPHY

We Should Pray for Those Who Do Not Get it Entreating Them With Grace

Finally, the Bible warns us to pray for our enemies and those that spitefully use us. This doesn’t mean that Wendy is an enemy of Tabitha’s. Wendy’s motivation had absolutely nothing to do with Tabitha but was more so motivated by her own experience. Often, when people cut up at us out of the blue; it has nothing to do with us, but with something personal that still needs to be resolved within them. This is why it is so important for us to love our neighbors even when they are being mean, rude, or difficult for no reasonable reason. There is a reason that oftentimes has nothing to do with us. It has to do with that person’s trauma experienced in their unique situation.

God knowing this warned us to love. In doing so, we avoid causing more damage. We create a pathway to healing for them and ourselves. We heal and feel relieved and better as we pray for them. They also heal and feel relieved and better as we remind them that through all of their trauma, hardship, and negative experience they are still worthy of love and God’s best. God is so good in how he works in the dealings of man to reveal his great love. I discuss dealing with rude people further in an article called, “Does God Want Us to Put Up With Abuse?.“

Let’s take all of these wonderful lessons from Tabitha and Wendy William’s experience and apply them to our lives personally.

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Myths Believed About Christian Singles

Have you ever heard someone speaking so confidently about something they’ve never experienced as if what they are sharing is the ultimate authority on the matter? Yet, what they are sharing doesn’t add up. I have regarding various conversations about Christian singles. These convos are often from people in relationships, married, men speaking on women and vice versa. It’s about time some light is bought to some of these myths by those who walk in the actual experience of being a Christian single woman or man.

Christian Single Women are Constantly Being Pursued by Christian Men

This is such a dumb myth that I’ve found many Christian men believe. They feel like Christian women are under constant pursuit by godly men and Christian women are just passing each one up. Many Christian men cannot understand how such beautiful Christian women can remain single for an extended period. This is where women are accused of being too picky, having too high standards, looking for perfection, and being prideful.

Pressure is then applied toward these single women forcing them to go out and date and try to make a relationship work with a man as long as he is a Christian. This strange myth does not take into account that you can be unequally yoked to a believer. It isn’t just unwise to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever, but it’s not wise to be unequally yoked to someone who believes in Christ but lacks the faith and maturity in Christ to sustain a healthy marriage. Even the Bible says to turn away from those with a form of godliness but deny the power thereof (2 Tim 3:5.)

via GIPHY

Yes, there are believing men out here who may attempt to pursue a Christian woman and his faith has stopped at believing in Christ as fire insurance for hell. However, there is no intimacy with God, trust in God nor submission to the leading of the Spirit of God. Any mature Christian woman will not subject herself to that as a wife because she will have to submit to that.

She will also have to be responsible for making up the slack where the man is lacking. Many mature single Christian women refuse to play the role of a male and a female at the same time. We want to walk in our femininity. Thus, a mature Christian woman should pass up on a relationship with an unready man Christian or not.

Not passing up these types of scenarios often lead to Jezebel and Ahab type of relationships where the roles are reversed and the woman becomes like the man and the man like the woman in the relationship. This is not God’s best for his people. This in no way requires the couple to be on the same level of maturity. There is no requirement in the Bible for that. However, it’s just wisdom to at a minimum have someone with the humility, willingness, and hunger for God enough to grow. This should be demonstrated through some sort of consistent actions. We should be discerning enough to determine if someone is seriously pursuing growth in Christ or not.

Finally, Christian single women are not approached by Christian men very often. This just isn’t realistic. If she is dating with the purpose of marriage; why should she just continue to date men who she knows are not walking in the same direction as she? Instead of continuing to date a non-believer; many single Christian women continue to wait to be approached by a godly man. This is the reality. No imaginary godly men are chasing us down regularly. If that were the case; many of us who desire marriage would already be married. There would be plenty of men to choose from. However, just like it is difficult to find a virtuous woman; it’s also difficult to find a faithful man.

Christian Singles Have More Time on Their Hands

It depends on what type of single person is being spoken of. If we’re speaking of a teenager, living at home with limited responsibilities perhaps. However, this isn’t the gamut of all Christian singles. There are many older Christian singles in the elder age range within the Millennial generation, some Gen X and others who have the responsibility of working a 9-5, running a household, taking care of elder parent(s), running a business or two, and taking care of themselves. The difference between a married household and a single household is that there are two people devoted to the goals of the household whereas with singles there is only one person responsible for many of the same things that married people are responsible for. Thus, if one person is taking on similar responsibility to a married household especially if they have children or elders to look after; they may not have the extra time on their hands for everyone else’s goal being dropped into their hands.

via GIPHY

This is why I encourage singles to live a balanced life. There will be seasons where we may be able to give more if our responsibilities are reduced, but there will also be seasons where we will have to say no to giving more so we can take care of our responsibilities and still find time to rest and rejuvenate ourselves to complete our responsibilities on an ongoing basis.

Please, don’t believe the lie that just because a person is single s/he has the time for projects and volunteer opportunities that do not belong to them. Please, consider asking a single person how they are doing? How is their schedule? Are they taking the necessary steps for proper self-care? Because singles may deal with loneliness more and desire close connection; singles may be more prone to overcommitting to things and activities at church and elsewhere just to have that connection. Please, be cautious of this single, and if you aren’t single and you notice this about a single; sit that single down letting him/her know that it’s okay to take care of him/herself.

Singles Experiencing Extended Singleness are Doing So Because They’ve Done Something Wrong

We are living in a cultural norm where there are 59% of Millennials single having never been married. As Millennials because of our ease in not committing to marriage so soon; we’ve been given accolades for decreasing the divorce rate not because we have been married for years, but because many of us are waiting to get married later in life.

There has been research for years showing that getting married later in life decreases the likelihood of divorce for obvious reasons such as greater maturity, greater financial stability, and greater personal development all contributing to the likelihood of staying together and selecting someone who compliments who we’ve become easier than in our teens or early twenties.

Only recently, a new study shows that getting married after the early 30s may increase the likelihood of divorce, but even the percentage of the increased likelihood of divorce is still lower than the teenage or twenty-something years. Thus, there is a benefit to marrying later. See the study by Institute for Family Studies.

Single Christians

Notice the factors that led to a greater likelihood of staying together had nothing to do with fear, pressure to marry soon, marriage because someone is pregnant, or marriage only because we’re getting older and the clock is ticking. That shows that when we make decisions for marriage out of stability; we have a greater chance at sticking it out together with our spouse. Thus, we cannot adopt the myth that we are single at an older age because there is something wrong with us. Instead, we should take advantage of the extended singleness to better become acquainted with ourselves, to grow in personal development, and to pursue the dreams God has placed on our hearts. Perhaps, God gave us a gift of singleness to accomplish something we would not have been able to accomplish as married women and men. Keep your mind positive and in alignment with what God says about you as someone experiencing extended singleness.

Recount the fact that God has been good to you protecting you from many things you’ve noticed your peers go through. You may not have a spouse and children of your own, but you also do not have a baby-father or baby-mother issues, an STD or emotional soul-ties that keep you stuck in unproductive and toxic relationships distracting you from the bright future God has for you. So, instead of believing the myth that as a single person you are single because you’re doing something wrong; be thankful that by God’s grace and favor you are doing something right. Read a similar article covered earlier in the blog The Labels That Singles Wear.

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Moving in Silence While Dating

Moving in Silence While Dating

Moving in silence while dating can be wisdom. This doesn’t mean blocking out your total community regarding the fact that you are dating or who you are dating. It means not giving too much too soon, not posting the new dating relationship on social media before it’s had time to mature into something substantial, and not sharing it with family members who are anxious for you to meet someone and who will continue to ask you about the dating relationship after it’s over if it doesn’t work out.

Moving in Silence While Dating is a Part of Guarding Your Heart

The Bible warns us to guard our hearts with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life. This means we do not want to so readily or easily let our new dating love into our hearts and thus we can do so by not sharing our new dating relationship with everyone. We don’t know the person we have just started to date. We need time alone with them to get to know them to see if we even want them to maintain a regular place in our lives. It takes energy to date.

We have to get dressed up, be of sober mind, ask open-ended questions and simply enjoy ourselves. It’s much easier to do that when we don’t have to explain to our entire family who the new person is and how it’s going. It’s okay to let maybe one or two people know for accountability and safety, but these people should be just as sober and not applying pressure to you to try to make things work out. A date is just that—a date. It isn’t a full-on relationship. It’s getting to know someone. We want to maintain that mindset while dating with no additional pressure.

Moving in Silence While Dating

Posting on Social Media While Dating

I know. For the ladies, I know it’s so few and far in between that we have someone to pursue us seriously, so we may be super excited to share with the world that we are finally dating. However, again we are just dating. Dating means gathering data. We are gathering data to determine if the person is a good fit for us. If he isn’t then we have to update our social media status again and possibly take pics down that remind us of the good moments.

It creates unnecessary pain when it’s time to let go of what was not for us. Not to mention, the having to explain to friends on our friend’s list why we are no longer dating our potential suitor. Let’s just move in silence while dating so we can save our social media posts for the dating relationship that turns out to be the genuine life-long and committed relationship that we are looking for.

One Day it’s Going to Happen

While dating is something that we do to get to know others and it can be disheartening when it doesn’t work out; we have to keep in mind that one day it is going to happen. One day we will meet someone who meets our standards. We will mesh well with our future lover and walk off into our happily ever after. Moving in silence while dating is something that helps us to maintain that hope. Once we’ve met the person and we are sure that this is leading toward marriage; we can then begin to share some things on social media showing the world we are no longer available on the dating market. To read about how dating should look for Christian singles click here.

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How Do I Start a Blog?

Since I’ve begun blogging 8 years ago, I’ve always been asked the question: how do I start a blog? Instead of running down the information one by one to each person who inquires, I found it easy to place all of the information in this brief blog article. Starting a blog is easy. All it takes is passion and dedication to your passion and your new blog can be a beautiful masterpiece. Here are 5 easy steps to start and monetize a blog. By the way, this information works for any type of blog including lifestyle blogs.

Choose a Niche

A Niche is an area of expertise that you are most passionate about writing about. If you write about everyday life things; you’ll your niche will be what’s called a lifestyle blog. If there is an area of emphasis within the lifestyle blog niche that you wish to focus on the most such as relationships; make sure to use a descriptive adjective in either your blog name or tag line of your blog so when people visit they know exactly what your blog is about. If they are searching for information in that particular niche. Your blog title will keep them coming back.

How Do I Start a Blog

Find an Affordable Hosting Site:

I use Fatcow for my hosting needs. I’ve been using them since May 2013. They have 24-hour technical support to make sure your site stays up at all times. Only through my special link can you receive a very low introductory discount. I am an affiliate with Fatcow and do receive compensation based on new sign-ups. Click here to take advantage of Fatcow’s very low introductory offer. Fatcow doesn’t only offer hosting, but they work directly with WordPress, Weebly, and other blogging software. I prefer WordPress however. We will discuss that later. Take a look at the specials that Fatcow has to offer to get started.

Choose an Eye-Catching Template Using a WordPress Website Builder

There are several builders out there that you can choose from such as Squarespace, Weebly, and others, but I currently use WordPress as they have easy-to-integrate plugins that assist with SEO. SEO stands for Search Engine Optimization. SEO determines what websites including blogs will pop up first in search engines when people enter keyword searches. If you have a high SEO ranking at the top of Google’s search pages you can get more traffic to your website. If your content is great these visitors may keep coming back and you’ll be able to make more money with your blog. You can access the WordPress builder through your Fatcow hosting account.

If you have a blog on another platform and would like to move it over to WordPress; you can hire an expert to provide this service for you at an affordable price by using Fiverr. I moved my website from the Weebly platform to WordPress by hiring someone at Fiverr to do it for me. The expert also converted my website into a professional looking blog format at an affordable price. You can view various WordPress themes here to get an idea of how you want your new website to look. Once you find the theme you like, you can either install it on your WordPress site or hire someone from Fiverr to customize the theme for you to your liking. Fiverr offers affordable freelancers to assist today’s entrepreneurs who may be on a budget. I am an affiliate with Fiverr and receive compensation based on referrals. Use this link to find a professional: Click here.

Learn About SEO

I briefly talked about what SEO is in the previous section. You can also take advantage of a free tool called Google Trends to see what is currently trending and suggestions on keywords being used around a topic you may wish to write about. Jumping on an upward trend can cause more traffic to your website and result in more income for you. There are experts on Fiverr as well who can assist you with optimizing your new WordPress website for SEO. Click here to look into SEO experts. I am an affiliate with Fiverr and receive compensation. A plug-in that WordPress provides called Yoast provides helpful SEO hints and tips for each article to ensure the ultimate traffic. I am not currently an affiliate with Yoast. I simply use their free basic plug-in.

Finally, an affordable SEO tool that allows you to research keywords and determine keyword difficulty is Mangools. It has many helpful tools that help you to see what keywords your competitors are ranking for. This gives you the opportunity to rank for the same keywords. Their yearly basic plan provides the best value. In November, they have sales up to 60% off. Grow your blog traffic now.

Find Great Royalty Free Pictures

Several free websites allow you to use royalty-free pictures. Royalty-free means you do not have to pay to use the pictures. These are the only pictures that should be used on your website unless you purchase pictures. Using royalty-free pictures will help you to avoid being sued by photographers. Pexels.com, Unsplash.com, and Pixabay.com are all great websites that offer royalty-free pictures. You’ll want to use your picture as the main picture for the article to draw people in and also add pictures and/or gifeys throughout the article with headers and subheaders to break up the text making it easier to read. Use gifey.com to find free gifeys to embed into your blog post.

Once you have your Niche, great content, hosting, website, and dope pictures you’ll need to begin posting consistently to begin building your audience. You can make money from blogging using Google Adsense, affiliate links from some of your favorite companies, and influencer marketing.

Fiverr has experts that can set up your Google Adsense properly on your new blogging website at very affordable prices. You’ll also want to set up Google Analytics on your website to be able to track your traffic, visitors, and the content that is doing the best on your site.

This will let you know if you are getting enough traffic to add ads to your site and affiliate links. You’ll want to know you have some traffic first before adding ads and affiliate links. Fiverr experts again can help you install Google Analytics. Learn further by researching affiliate programs with your favorite companies.

How Do I Start a Blog: Bonus Ways to Monetize Your New Blog

How Do I Start a Blog

Make Money Through Affiliate Marketing:

Affiliate marketing is a great way to make passive income. Passive income is income that you make in your sleep. You do this by simply adding affiliate links into your articles. Affiliate links are links to products or services that you’d personally recommend because you’ve tried it before and you love it. When the products or services that you recommend begin to sale through your affiliate link; you get paid a percentage. If your SEO is good; you can consistently make income from one blog post written several years ago.

My blogging mentor does this and makes over $50,000/monthly in affiliate marketing alone. I’m definitely not there yet as I am just starting out, but I believe this can be a great way to fund your blog and make some extra income while using your talent of writing. Check out my mentor’s free e-book. She also offers a course that teaches you everything you need to know about affiliate marketing including not overwhelming your audience with seeming sales pitches, but helping them find things that actually want to purchase.

Sale Online Classes

Create a class centered around your niche or area of expertise. Sell the class on an affordable platform like Teachable. I have a few courses on my website using Teachable. The great thing about Teachable is it allows you to schedule a free coaching session as an event where you can add the Zoom link information on the page.

I use this tool to offer a free webinar that introduces new leads to my brand. They get the initial free group coaching session for free and feel more comfortable buying my paid courses and books later because they realize the value I provide to them. Teachable is useful for paid courses, subscription courses, coaching, and much more.

Finally, Teachable is a community that offers various training from more advanced experts such as Lisa Nichols and others. I partner with Teachable as an affiliate and earn compensation for sharing about their services.

I am an affiliate with Teachable and receive compensation based on signups.

Create a Product

Create a book or multiple books around your expertise. Offer coaching services as a product or anything else you can think of related to your brand. It could be T-shirts promoting your brand’s core values. If you advertise these things well you can make money from them and still do what you love.

Create a Lead Magnet

Creating a lead magnet helps you to grow your email list. This is something that you will give away for free. It can be an E-book, playlist, list of something incredible. It just has to be something you know people who follow your niche will value. You can advertise other products and services to this group of people on your email list.

Add Google Adsense to Your Website Upon Traffic Increase

It will take some time for you to bring a substantial amount of traffic to your new blogging website. Don’t be discouraged by this. Keep up writing great content that you are passionate about while following the SEO guidelines you’ll learn and eventually you’ll have enough traffic to add Google Adsense. This is a tool that any online influencer can apply for as long as you meet Google’s terms of agreement.

Remember that blogging is a journey, so enjoy the journey and success will come along the way.

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Healthy Boundaries in Dating Show Us Who Genuinely Cares for Us

One of the most important characteristics we need to develop to attract someone for us is our ability to set healthy boundaries that keep our personal identity intact. Keeping our identity intact is a part of our wholeness. Wholeness is another word for healthy, whole, complete and unbroken. It doesn’t mean we are perfect, but we have enough stability and sobriety resulting in the clarity needed to make decisions that lead to health and wholeness for ourselves. Setting healthy boundaries while dating helps to provide greater safety and security along with the closeness we desire while getting to know others.

Setting healthy boundaries extends to our emotional stability as well. When we’ve embraced proper boundaries, we value ourselves and protect ourselves, and require others to do the same. The person who respects our boundaries and values us as much as we have shown that we value ourselves will be someone that we may want to consider keeping around.

An Expert Had the Below to Say

Stephanie Camins of Roadtogrowthcounseling.com shares some important things about boundaries in her article, “Setting Emotional Boundaries in Relationships.”

“Setting good personal boundaries is critical to creating healthy relationships, increasing self-esteem, and reducing stress, anxiety, and depression. Boundaries protect your personal self by setting a clear line between what is me and what is not me. A lack of boundaries opens the door for others to determine your thoughts, feelings, and needs. Defining boundaries is a process of determining what behavior you will accept from others and what you will not.”

I would encourage you to follow the link and read the entire article as it shares some basic boundaries that everyone has. I love that she bought out the fact that those without boundaries open the door for others to determine thoughts, feelings, and needs instead of requiring your own thoughts feelings, and needs and getting those. Could this be why some of us may be disappointed in our dating because we aren’t setting clear boundaries for ourselves before we get into a dating relationship or any relationship for that matter?

Many women have been socialized into thinking that passivity and conformity in relationships is the only option for women, but this outlook can easily cause us to lose ourselves in dating and cause us to avoid practicing the proper discernment to qualify the right man for us. Each of us has a right to qualify someone who will genuinely care for who we are at the core. Therefore, we have to maintain who we are at the core by setting the proper boundaries to protect who we are.

Boundaries Protect Our Values

Boundaries protect our values. Our values are the core beliefs that make us who we are. If I value rest; I will set a boundary to go to bed at an appropriate time to maintain my rest and energetic attitude. If I value getting my hair done; I will set a boundary to allocate money within my budget to be able to get my hair done. If I value intimacy with God; I will schedule my dates or phone time around my intimate time with God and not in place of. If I value the clarity that comes with not being physically involved too soon; I will communicate that at the proper time to my partner and it should be respected and acted upon accordingly.

Someone only interested in pushing or removing your boundaries may be selfish and may not genuinely care about you at all. Remember what the Bible says about love: Love is not self-seeking (1 Cor 13:5.) They may only care about transforming you into the image of what they want in their mind. We need to be honest with ourselves when we are dating someone who doesn’t match our values and thus doesn’t respect our boundaries that protect our values.

It’s okay to pass on them so that our identities and self-worth can remain intact. We should never degrade or devalue ourselves to be in a relationship with someone. I ask the question in my book, The Wholeness Action Plan: Do we love ourselves the way that we expect someone else to love us? Receiving the right love in our lives first starts with our decision to love ourselves. Meditate on the love chapter of 1 Corinthians 13 and ask yourself if you love yourself in each of the ways mentioned. If not get to work on loving you.

Once Your Healthy Boundaries are Set You’ll Need to Stick to Them:

Once our boundaries are set; we need to stick to them. If we do not stick to our boundaries that we set; we will confuse those seeking to be in a relationship with us. I shared a story in my book: Patterns of the Heart: Discernment in Choosing a Potential Spouse of a couple named Tavia and Terrell. They both had different values but continued to date. After Terrell attempted to change Tavia’s boundaries of saving sexual intimacy for later. The couple split up. The truth was they could not continue in the relationship unless one person yielded their boundaries to the other, but because the boundary that Tavia had had a specific goal to honor her relationship with God she could not continue in the relationship and still be herself. She would have had to become someone else that she was not willing to be.

The same was true of Terrell who had a personal value to please himself in the relationship without considering God. He would have had to become someone he was not also to continue with Tavia. If we want to be loved for who we genuinely are we have to genuinely be ourselves. Terrell met someone with the same values as him and now he is married. Likewise, Tavia in the book met someone with similar values as her. Because the values matched; the boundaries were respected and a healthy bond grew. This is what I want and this is why I’ve committed to myself to be myself maintaining the boundaries that allow me to do so.

Amos 3:3 – How can two walk together except they are agreed.

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What Healthy Dating for Christian Singles Looks Like:

Many believers are afraid to date because they aren’t sure what healthy dating for Christian singles looks like. They’ve seen those who have abused dating to satisfy the most recent sexual urge or the serial dater who never commits to truly get to know someone, but goes from one person to the next with no real plan. Then some are genuinely looking for a spouse but may lack the tools to date in a healthy way and they simply repeat the same mistakes again and again. Below I will share some tools to know what it is like to date in a healthy way.

Healthy Dating Looks like Friendship in the Beginning
When we watch a movie the love interests date and end up in a romantic emotional and physical relationship almost immediately. This has been naturally programmed into many of our minds that if a connection is to be genuine and real it must progress quickly. This is not true. It takes time to get to know someone and to build trust. It’s okay to take a relationship slower than the norm. It’s wisdom to avoid trying to manufacture a strong emotional, physical, or romantic tie in the beginning because that is not what keeps the relationship going. What will keep the relationship going is two people who are on one accord going in the same direction and choosing to do it together. We have to get to know someone.

Does this person have similar values? What are the red, green, and yellow flags? Is the person we are dating willing to grow and address the red and yellow flags? What is their character like? Does this person listen to you and others who offer genuine and sound wisdom or are they so headstrong that they only value their opinion? It’s amazing how wide our eyes are open to truly discern another person and where they are going in life when we don’t just focus on the romantic, physical, or emotional.

You’ll find that if the person matches you well and is willing to grow showing fruit; then, the romantic, physical, and romantic desires will grow anyway and they do not have to be forced. Don’t give up on a potential relationship because the romantic, physical, and emotional ties aren’t the strongest in the beginning. This also helps you to guard your heart so if it doesn’t work out you’re not as distraught. You may not end up distraught at all because you can find out closer to the beginning of the dating relationship if you and he will agree to move forward to pursue something that will be more than friends. See Amos 3:3 – How can two walk together except they are agreed.

Healthy Dating Looks like Practicing Self-Control
There should be a physical attraction to the person you choose to date and, in the beginning, you may feel a very strong sexual urge. That’s okay. It’s normal to be physically attracted to someone you find fine. You just have to make sure you maintain self-control. That means if when you go to bed at night your hormones are barking and you cannot stop thinking about being with them sexually to the point where you feel as though you have to act it out; you need to get some self-control. If you had self-control before you begin dating this new person; it will be easier for you to regain your self-control in this situation. If you did not have self-control before dating this person and you were hooking up with others to meet your sexual desires you may need to step away from dating and focus solely on gaining self-control before dating.

Communicate effectively with the new potential and let them know you need to step away to work on some things. A couple of tips for the previously self-controlled person who is just experiencing normal temptation. It may help to reframe the way you see the potential you are dating. When you want to fantasize about being sexually involved with your new potential; retrain your brain to think of him as your brother in the Lord. If you put him in the category of your brother; it will be less likely that you will think of him sexually. At the appropriate time in the future as things progress you can think of him as more, but now in the beginning he is your brother in the Lord and you are focusing on gathering data to get to know him, not getting out all of your sexual frustrations from all of the years. There will be a time for that just not now.

Also, set aside a day to fast and pray and seek the Lord about these newly elevated sexual desires. Invite God into the conversation regarding wanting to freak this new man and wanting to date him. Ask the Lord to give you grace which is the power and strength to honor God in the dating relationship. For the one who has never practiced self-control and it’s foreign to you; get with others in a healthy community who have had similar struggles and overcome them. Find older men and women to share your struggles with who can help you to walk the path of self-control and learning to depend on God in the area of sexual purity.

Healthy Dating Looks like Asking Lots of Questions and Much Communication
If you are coming to the table whole—meaning you aren’t seeking for the relationship to make you whole, but you’ve found your wholeness in Christ and you are at rest in your spirit in how you see yourself and value yourself seeing and valuing yourself as God sees you you’ve met a major prerequisite for being in a healthy relationship. You simply need to be familiar with your personal values and characteristics and you need to choose someone who aligns well with that.

You also will need to be well aware of your purpose for your life—your vision. Where are you going? What are your personal preferences in a partner? How important to you is each preference. If the partner had all of your value characteristics and a complimentary purpose; would you be willing to budge on one preference or two? What are your non-negotiables? I have a free template as part of my free training, “Top 3 Dating Fears” where someone can list all of these things on one form so you will have a picture of what you are looking for while you are dating. Once, you have this you’ll know the right questions to ask a potential while dating. Many people ask me what should they ask and I share that you need to simply be yourself. Also, listen well during your communication with this other person, observe body language and other actions. You can formulate more questions based on the other person’s responses and the flags that come up from what they share.

via GIPHY

As the potential reveals more about himself; you should be noting more questions that you need to ask to clarify where that person is. You may notice red flags, yellow flags, and green flags. Red means stop and address something, yellow means slow down and address something, and green means to move forward. I also have a form for tracking these as part of my training as well. I’ll also share some examples of this during the training. Ultimately, before you move to the next level of your dating relationship to a more serious dating relationship; you want to make sure you are on the same page by addressing and asking the right questions. Be natural with your questions. Just be yourself. Be humble and careful to honor and respect the other person in your question asking. It isn’t an interrogation, but an enjoyable experience of exploring another beautiful person who mutually respects you and you him.

Healthy Dating Looks like Mutual Respect, Safety, and Digging Deeper to Build Something Solid
Never date someone you do not feel safe with. If you do not feel safe in the person’s approach in initially connecting with you; leave it alone. Pay attention to the Holy Spirit’s leading. Ask questions before providing your number to find out what the person’s value system is. I like to use a question during meeting guys out in public asking the gentlemen what is most important to him. This question allows me to see what his values are right off the bat. If it’s far out and not in alignment with what I am comfortable with; I can pass on providing my number. Each answer to the initial question of importance usually leads to more questions. See the free handout for example at the link: “One Question to Ask a Potential Free Download.” If I feel the values reasonably align; I may provide my number for further conversation. That’s when I talk to him once or twice before agreeing to go on a date to ensure he is of some sort of stable and safe mindset where I am not putting myself at risk with someone unstable. At this point, we can begin the process of dating with the wisdom of God and the wisdom shared above. I hope this helps with your dating life. Don’t be afraid to date; just date with wisdom and healthy boundaries, plus vision. Consider signing up for my free live webinar via Zoom Top 3 Dating fears at this link: Click here to register for the free webinar.

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Social Media and Anxiety

Some studies correlate the overuse of social media with increased levels of anxiety and depression. Social Media and depression have a correlation. Recently, I’d experienced increased sensitivity to my longing for a potential spouse after spending about two weeks on the new social media app Club-House. I’d been in some fun and interesting rooms that discussed relationships. A gentleman that I was interested in at one point had also been in a lot of those rooms and I think being in the same room made me feel a sense of connection that I desired with someone like him that I simply did not have. That in and of itself began to create an increased longing within me as well as anxiety.

At first, I did not understand why my desire for a spouse had increased. I prayed about it asking the Lord why I was feeling this way, how I should respond, and also for wisdom. I went on saying, “Lord, you said if I lacked wisdom, I could ask you and you would give me wisdom and not look down on me. Please, give me wisdom on how to navigate this properly. Lord, you said if I leaned not to my own understanding and acknowledged you in all my ways; you would direct my path. Lord, give me direction in this?”

A couple of days later after praying these prayers. I began to notice some anxiety stirring within me. Dr. John Delony shares in his book, “Redefining Anxiety” anxiety is simply a warning system built within us to let us know that danger is approaching. John suggests that we deal with what is causing our anxiety to still the anxiety away. He clears up several myths that limit anxiety to a medical condition or as something to fix with a pill to something that requires us to take responsibility in addressing our stressors.

My stressor was the fact that I have a legitimate desire for connection and intimate partnership with a man of God, but Clubhouse made me temporarily feel like that need was met virtually yet in reality that need was alarmingly unmet due to the building of anxiety. It’s not new to me that that desire has not been met yet, but having it come to the forefront as strong as it did leads to imbalance and potential desperation. This is the opposite of what God calls us to. God calls us to balance. Eventually, if anxiety turns into depression, it will disable us from doing the things that we should do and we may find ourselves trying to cover up how we feel with unhealthy things. This is why it’s so important to deal with what is causing our anxiety.

A false balance is an abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is his delight. – Proverbs 11:1

Anxiety can lead to a false balance in our lives causing us to operate ineffectively in our lives. The quote below is from a government website that has noted the impact of excessive social media use:

“If you’re spending an excessive amount of time on social media and feelings of sadness, dissatisfaction, frustration, or loneliness are impacting your life, it may be time to re-examine your online habits and find a healthier balance” (Click here to read full article.)

The article also shares the below warning:

“While each social media outlet has its benefits, it’s important to remember that social media can never be a replacement for real-world human connection. It requires in-person contact with others to trigger the hormones that alleviate stress and make you feel happier, healthier, and more positive. Ironically for a technology that’s designed to bring people closer together, spending too much time engaging with social media can make you feel more lonely and isolated—and exacerbate mental health problems such as anxiety and depression (Click here to read full article.)”

This is what I begin noticing within myself. Thankfully, I was able to notice this. I believe God was giving me wisdom by allowing me to realize what was going on. Many people experience this and allow the anxiety to advance into something more uncontrollable and find it hard to get back to a place of centeredness and peace. However, as believers, peace is our inheritance (John 14:27.) We should always be aware of anything that may come to threaten our peace and make proper adjustments. Read John Deloney’s book in its entirety to gain a better understanding of anxiety and limit your social media interactions to what suites your peace.

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5 Reasons Why Kevin Samuels Teachings are Dangerous for Women

While we live in this world we are not to live as those of the world’s system. As believers, we operate according to a different system and that system is the kingdom of God. This means as believers we have to be discerning about the wisdom and knowledge that we take in as it will either lead us to continue on the straight and narrow path or to veer off the path. The things that Kevin Samuels teaches on his YouTube channel can very easily lead many away especially women.

Sadly, many women are seeking advice from a father type figure, yet everyone who attempts to fill that role doesn’t have the heart of a father to protect, provide, and act as a priest—one who leads people to Christ and the full life God has for his people. Below are 5 reasons I believe Kevin Samuel’s teachings are dangerous for single women.

He encourages women to devalue themselves

At a woman’s core, she desires security. Many men interpret this to mean financial security, but this will differ depending on the woman. In most cases, when dealing with a whole mature woman, she is secure when she is with a man who genuinely values her, is willing to love her, protect her, and cherish her. God has given women the right to practice discernment in communicating with a brother and vetting him for marriage if she so chooses; however, that right is gravely diminished for women who follow Kevin Samuel’s teachings. This process should be rushed according to Kevin because a woman should be elated that a “high-value man” took interest in her. Thus, by the 3rd date, she needs to gap her legs open for sex to repay the man. At that point, the man will decide if the woman is someone he can choose for a spouse.

God’s word shares that when we commit these sexual acts outside of marriage, we sin against ourselves. We are opening ourselves up to become one with someone who may or may not want to proceed further with us. This type of behavior requires a woman to become cold and bitter if she continues to endure this type of treatment from men. It requires her to put off her natural needs to be loved to be used. Men are excused of responsibility in this scenario because they are high-value. They make so much money that women should just be cool with this behavior according to Kevin.

However, women have a responsibility to protect themselves. This means ladies that if a man isn’t valuing you enough to protect you; you have to protect yourself. You are not obligated to sacrifice your peace of mind on the altar of a “high-value man.” Women who follow Kevin’s teachings are taught to idolize the high-value man at their own expense. Something the Bible clearly warns against.

See 1st Corinthians 6:18

He fails to give grace and mercy to single mothers

Out of all of the women, the high-value man should be able to become sexually involved with it should be the single mother according to Kevin’s videos. There is a greater demand and expectation for the single mother to be easy when it comes to a high-value man because she is looked at as having already been sexually active; thus, she should not have a problem continuing her previous behavior with the high-value man. After all, no high-value man wants a single mom when other younger women are available with no kids. This is simply manipulation. It’s a mind-trick to make the single mother believe that she is somehow less worthy of waiting until marriage to have sex because she’s done it in her past. Does this sound familiar to any of my readers? This sounds like condemnation—a trick that Satan pulls on God’s children to convince them to continue in sin because they’ve already sinned in the past. There is no redemption for the single mom according to Kevin. If the high-value man cannot count on any woman for sex, for sure, he should be able to count on the single mom. She should be so desperate and thankful that a high-value man chose her that she should be ready. Why does such a high-value man need to manipulate a woman to get her to want him? Why can’t he just present himself as an awesome guy and court the woman according to her standards and the woman of her own accord decides to give her hand to him in marriage and surrender herself to him including her body? This is because the high-value man excuses himself of working on himself. He hides behind the fact that he has money hoping that will draw a woman to him who agrees with his behavior. This is similar to a pimp, who breaks a woman down, sends her out on the street to do the dirty work, and collects the money from her. It’s irresponsible and not characteristic behavior of a suitable husband. In other words, the high-value man, like a pimp, puts the woman at greater risk by pimping her to men who do not value her and he receives the benefit. Do you see the correlation?

Even God himself humbled himself and he is the highest value man there ever was to win the favor of his bride—the church. He displayed his desire for the church by having mercy on her not holding her sin against her, but forgiving her, protecting her, and covering her with his covenant. God’s bride in turn willingly submits to him and God doesn’t have to beg for what he wants. We are willing in light of God’s goodness toward us. This is the type of relationship we ought to seek to have. This is the type of relationship we are worthy of—someone who values us as God does—someone who loves us like Christ.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God–this is your true and proper worship. – Romans 12:1

He encourages men to draw their value and worth from the amount of money they make

A high-value man is a man who makes six figures. Supposedly, this is the man that all of us women are supposed to want. This man dresses nice and can have his pick of the best of the bunch. I shared earlier how if the main thing a man has to bring to the table is just his money and not integrity, well-developed character, a fear for God, direction, love, care, humility then the high-value man isn’t worth much to many women when it comes to choosing a marriage partner. Money can buy a body, but it cannot buy love. Money cannot keep a relationship together for 40 years. There are women out there who would be open to a relationship based on money and not love. Perhaps that is the audience he is targeting. It should not be the church and those of us in the church should not value a man off of his money alone.

The Responsibility for Marriages to work seems to be placed on the women and not both the men and women

This point I’ve noted from my male friends who listen to Kevin Samuels as though he is speaking for them and defending them from all of the rejection they’ve ever faced from a woman in their lives. An emphasis is placed on the low marriage rate in the Black community and the high incidence of single motherhood. Feminism and the advances that came because of feminism are the culprits behind this they say. Thus, Black women need to get with the available brothers to bridge this gap. Women of old before the advances of the feminist movement were able to get married young and marriages stayed together for a long time they say.

My thoughts: First, it cannot be assumed that women are single because they are feminists. I do not know any feminist women single or married. These are assertions that are assumed of women without having a conversation with them which is disrespectful. What many women are aware of are the positive aspects of living in 2021 as a woman. We can go to work as women and make enough money to take care of ourselves which eliminates one of the main reasons women of the old school got married which was to leave their parent’s home.

The requirements to gain a wife have gotten higher since the 1950s. Men have to bring more than money to the table. Women have to be genuinely interested in the man. This is good for both sides because both the man and the woman have an opportunity to have the peace of mind that someone is choosing them for them and not their money. This is true if we vet people well. This isn’t a bad thing. It simply requires more effort on both sides, not just one side.

The responsibility for marriages to work should not simply be placed on the woman. This is a huge turn-off to feminine women when a man wants her to take responsibility for herself and him instead of him taking responsibility for his role in a potential relationship as well.

Another important note is as women became freer to work and to vote and have a respectable place in society; domestic violence has decreased. This is in part because women aren’t staying in those scenarios as much as they used to because the man was the provider and the woman could not take care of the children financially on her own. Again, another positive aspect of the women’s suffrage movement. Finally, it’s not a woman’s job to take on a savior complex for the Black community to lend herself out to a man she isn’t interested in to save the marriage rate in the Black community. A woman’s standards should be respected enough to make herself available to the gentleman of her choice. Period!!!!

He takes away or doesn’t respect a woman’s right to choose for herself

Kevin was in a video I viewed on Instagram telling a woman that she should not be attracted to her potential husband or suitor. It’s not about her but him. She is the attractive one. This is in line with the woman being treated like a trophy wife. A trophy wife is there for appearances. She simply makes the man look good so he has bragging rights to other men on how he was able to bag her―this reeks of emptiness. This type of relationship is only one-sided. Only the man gets the benefit he desires and the woman gets to feel like she is on parade. Does she get love? Perhaps not. Does she get exclusivity? Perhaps not. A woman’s desires, needs, and vision for her life are important too. No woman will get what she needs by caving into chauvinistic selfish men. We have to hold up standards for ourselves. Our standards protect us. If a man doesn’t meet your most valued standards; move on. You have a right as a woman to do so.

Any man who treats you like you are his property because he is a man and you are a woman and thus you need to fall in line isn’t worthy of you. He simply doesn’t respect you. There seems to be an entitlement spirit with Kevin and his audience of men because they have money. Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of mutual respect, not one party controlling the other. Control is normally a trait of the insecure. A person is so insecure and full of fear that they make extra concessions to ensure things will work out as they wish. If the high-value man is so valuable, why does he have to control what a woman does? Why does he have to trick her―manipulating her out of her values? This is witchcraft and mind control. The Bible is clear that rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft. Don’t rebel against your God-given values and standards for yourself due to witchcraft and mind control from others. Remember our boundaries and values we set up to protect us. They also show us who genuinely cares about us and who only wants to use us. Without proper values, we are like desperate men groping and grappling for stability. People who abandon their values live in a broken place.

Add a woman has a right to choose without providing an explanation why she did not choose a particular gentleman. A woman doesn’t have to say yes or welcome a guy’s attention she isn’t interested in and that should be respected just like a man’s choice should be respected. If a woman isn’t attracted to a brother, she doesn’t have to pretend she is.

I could go on. Many of Kevin’s teachings for men are rooted in narcissism, which is such a self-indulged way of thinking that satisfies one’s self-indulgence does so at the expense of others—particularly women. We cannot raise strong families on narcissistic, chauvinistic thinking. Both men and women need to be treated like two equal parties in Christ who value one another and the unique aspects of manhood and femineity that complement one another. Men and women were made together in the image of God to complement one another while honoring God—not to fight against each other. None of Kevin’s ungodly doctrine should be championed in the church or among church circles. Simply put it’s dangerous and reckless.

Nevertheless, neither is the man without the woman, neither is the woman without the man, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, even so, is the man also by the woman; but all things of God. – 1 Corinthians 11:11-12

Simply put, both men and women need each other. We should be working on humbling ourselves to one another to become one instead of fighting against one another and pointing the finger. It only breeds further division.

Disclaimer: This is a Christian blog. Therefore, I cannot allow comments that demean a person based on their ethnicity, race, gender, familial status, single status or has provocative language such as using four letter words. Thank you for being respectful with your comments!

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5 Ways to Refresh Your Intimate Relationship w/God

Choose a different prayer time than normal
Seeking the Lord at a different prayer hour than the norm is a way to break the monotony of your daily routine of seeking the Lord where you may have become accustomed to the same thing. If your prayer has become somewhat dry and routine praying at a different hour can help to freshen things up. If you normally pray at 6 a.m., but the Lord wakes you up at 3 a.m. instead, go ahead and get out of bed and visit a different room in your house outside of your bedroom and begin to seek the Lord.

Put some piano prayer music on
There is an artist named Dappy Keys who plays instrumental prayer and worship music on YouTube. It’s a great way to set the mood to worship and the quietness that is needed in seeking the Lord. If you’re already up at a very early hour like 3 a.m., the house will already be quiet and dark. Quietness and praying in the dark together I’ve found are good recipes to seek the Lord undistracted.

Limit the Media You Take in
Much of the media that we take in is based on sensationalism. Sensationalism has a way of changing the appetite of the consumer. After taking in so much sensationalism, we begin to want it more and more. We desire what we feed ourselves. Be careful what videos you click on that pop up in your YouTube feed. We want to have a hunger and a thirst for God that we can expect to be filled as this is a promise from God. Begin to be intentional about looking up pastors and leaders that prick your heart toward God and seeking him.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. – Matthew 5:6

Play worship music in the home
Music is a great way to shift the heartstrings moving them to where we want our hearts to go. If we want our hearts to go toward the Lord; we can play our favorite worship playlist. After a while, everything that we are doing will begin to work together—the early prayers, limiting media that doesn’t draw us toward God, playing the worship music. Before we know it, we will be worshiping the Lord more easily. What we are doing is setting our affections on the Lord. God’s word reminds us to set our affections and desires on him.

Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. – Colossians 3:2

Evaluated your circle
Are those in your circle those who would lead you more toward carnality and less toward the Lord? Pray about limiting time with these types of people. Pray about when it’s okay to be around them if it’s okay to be around them. Some people we need to cut off and others may only be in our lives as associates and not confidants and friends. Pray that God gives you Johnathan and David relationships where you all can honor God together.

Repent and Turn away from any sin (Bonus)
Sin separates us from God as we struggle with loving the sin versus loving God. Repent means to change direction. Turn away from your sin and seek God for his power to overcome sin. You may also have to fast and pray. Do not allow a mindset of condemnation to have dominion over you, but stand firm in the Lord with the armor of God on until you experience deliverance.

But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you so that he will not hear. – Isaiah 59:2

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