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I’m Over 30 and Still Single:

Oh the joys and the struggles of being single as a mature adult. I’m 31 years old. I know my readers are shocked because I look 19, but yes I am over 30 years old (LOL smiley face). Once you hit 30 years old, it’s not uncommon to do a life evaluation. You ask yourself questions as far as what am I doing with my life? Where am I going? Am I on the path I would like to be and so on. If you are not careful, at 30 your life evaluation can turn out to be only rehearsing the expectations of those around you concerning you and your love life.

By 30 years old,  we are old enough to know that the expectations of others do not define who we are. We have to remember in the course of hearing everyone else’s voice and everyone else’s opinion about where we should be in life romantically and otherwise, that we should pay the more earnest attention to what God says for our lives.

I remember a while back, I was fasting and praying seeking God about all of the dreams and goals that he had put inside of me and how I should go about accomplishing them. I remember clearly,  God gave me this scripture that said, ” For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them (Philippians 2:10, KJV)

The NLT version says, ” For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago (Philippians 2:10)

Finally, the NIV version says, ” For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do (Philippians 2:10)

That scripture quieted my spirit and encouraged me to know that, Hey! God is on my side and I am not in this alone. God wants these dreams and goals to happen in me just as much as I do if not more because it was his idea to begin with.

Knowing what God is saying for you is the most important thing for your life, especially in the midst of several voices sharing their opinion on you and even your own voice of doubt about yourself. Guess who’s idea marriage was? Yes, it was God’s idea. If God wills for you to be married then don’t worry about marriage. Take the load off of your self. Stop trying to figure out how you will do this and that, but rather ask God what am I supposed to be focusing on right now. Whatever that is then do that to your best abilities and continue to walk with God.

Don’t allow someone else’s expectations of you to cause you not to enjoy your own life. Begin to cherish and make the most out of where God has placed you right now. One last thing, as a single mature adult, I would sometimes think it awkward to be so old yet not married because my parents we’re married at 18 and lots of people from the 50’s and 60’s we’re married by then also, but recently, I was reading the Bible and found that Isaac was 40 years old when he was married to Rebekah. I thought to myself this is not a new thing. There has always been single adults of a mature age . There is nothing new under the sun, and truly there is nothing too hard for God. Keep living, dreaming, and watching your dreams unfold, and welcome to maturity.

Don’t forfeit your inheritance in Christ for weariness. If you want the spouse that God wills for you to have then be willing to wait for it.

An inheritance is a birthright, something promised to an individual for simply being born. Just like there is a natural inheritance through birth; there is also a spiritual inheritance through Christ communicated to us as believers through God’s word.

Jacob and Esau we’re sons of Abraham. Abraham was a man rich and favored of God because of his faith. Esau was the heir through birthright to inherit the blessings from his father as the first-born. However, because Esau became faint, he allowed himself to be deceived out of his birthright.

And the story goes as such:

“29And Jacob sod pottage: and Esau came from the field, and he was faint:30 And Esau said to Jacob, Feed me, I pray thee, with that same red pottage; for I am faint: therefore was his name called Edom. 31 And Jacob said, Sell me this day thy birthright. 32 And Esau said, Behold, I am at the point to die: and what profit shall this birthright do to me? 33 And Jacob said, Swear to me this day; and he sware unto him: and he sold his birthright unto Jacob. 34 Then Jacob gave Esau bread and pottage of lentiles; and he did eat and drink, and rose up, and went his way: thus Esau despised his birthright (Genesis 25:29-34, KJV).”

To be faint means to be exhausted or weary. Too many singles have become exhausted and weary in waiting on the Lord doing everything in their power to live a life pleasing and productive unto the Lord, yet have become weary for not having their inheritance or promises from God come to pass yet.

However, that place of fainting can be a very monumental place. It’s in those places of fainting, and discouragement that Satan comes to cause us to despise what we already have in Christ, to lose faith on what we will have in the right time and season, and to give up on our inheritance in Christ altogether like Esau.

The Bible says in Galatians 6:9 not to faint in well-doing for in due season we shall reap if we faint not. Esau had fainted to the point of saying to himself that he was at the point of death. He didn’t think to himself that he was the grandson of Abraham, the very rich man who had a covenant promise from God. The man to which when he died gave all that he had to his son of birthright Issac (Genesis 25:5). Esau was actually next in line to receive the blessing and the inheritance of the first-born.

In that moment of fainting or weariness, it seems like a legitimate thing to despise what he has already through birthright for what he felt he needed, but when you really look at it, it doesn’t add up. With his family being rich and by being connected to his father as a blood-heir he could have eaten anything he wanted. There is nothing that his father would have held back from him.

Similarly, there is nothing that God our heavenly father will hold back from those of us who live out our lives for him. The Bible says that those that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing.i It says no good thing will I with-hold from those who walk upright before me. ii We are God’s children. God owns everything and has the power to do anything, but it will happen in his time and season.

If we like Esau walk in our flesh and begin to despise what we have in Christ and began to sow to the flesh, then we will like Esau reap fleshly things frustration, regret, having to deal with the consequences of our decision.

“For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.” Hebrews 12:17

“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” Galatians 6:7-9

If we decide to place our value on the things that God values like Jacob, and sow to the things of the Spirit, then we will reap spiritual things all the way to our inheritance in Christ whatever our inheritance in Christ may be.

iThe lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. Psalms 34:10 (NIV)

iiFor the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. Psalms 84:11 (KJV)

How Could the World be different if there were more Men? What Mike Singletary of The Chicago Bears had to say:

This past Tuesday evening, I went to an event sponsored by the Abstinence & Marriage Partnership. The organization provides strength to the family structure by promoting healthy relationships, teaching practical steps to achieve a sustaining marriage and abstinence from high risk behaviors such as sex outside of marriage and other critical decisions that can impact one’s life and future.

The executive director of the organization Mr. Scott Phelps explained the need for such education showcasing the percentage of children born to two-parent households from the 1940s to recent years. According to statistics garnered from the Center for Disease Control, the percentage for children born out of wedlock in the 1940s and 1950s was 4%. This is a time where Mr. Phelps pointed out that there was a clear divide or boundary line when it came to morals.

He went on to explain the sexual revolution that took place in the 1960s and how since the sexual revolution, those boundary lines began to become erased. The percentage for children being born out of non two-parent homes has risen all the way to 46% for the country, and of course it is the highest in the Black community where it is 72%.

Anyone who has been around a while knows that a man’s presence in the family is immensely important to the home and to the children in the family. A man’s presence or the lack thereof affects nearly every facet of society because men in families provide worth to children, structure, guidance, strength, and so many other things. Phelps closed his presentation in asking how will we be able to strengthen the family? How will we be able to fix the problems discussed tonight?

That is when a man stood up in the room and addressed the audience with passion, authority, and strength. He represented a mature man. His answer was that what he felt would fix every problem in this country would be for there to be more men.

Not just any type of man, but men who honor God. Men who honor their vows of marriage. Men who stick with their families when times are easy and when times are hard. Unselfish men, who are willing to be fathers. It was so refreshing to hear him speak. He did not speak in a manner to condemn men, but to invite men to the challenge of fulfilling their places as pillars in the community and in the home. When the home is strengthened the communities are strengthened.

That man who stood up was Mike Singletary, pro NFL football player for the Chicago Bears during 1981- 1992. He talked about how he fills the shoes of a father in his home. He doesn’t just allow anything into his home, but he guards his home because he is a protector. He talked about how he talks with his kids getting into their lives making them think about different things. For example, he mentioned a young daughter of his who is on her way to college. He told her if he was a young man who did not know her he would try to holla. He asked her what would she do in a situation like that would she be so caught up in the ideal of wanting to be in love.

He has another son who is working towards being an actor. He asked him to think about how he is going to stand for God in that type of an environment. Not only is he protecting his household, but he is equipping his household to protect themselves and to protect and lead others. That is what fathers do. That is what men do. What would this world look like if we had more men like that?

Please, enjoy a snippet of what Mr. Singletary shared on Tuesday evening:

Why waiting on the Lord for a mate is like buying a new car:

God is very well able to exceed our expectations. His word says he is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). When we doubt God; we insult God and his ability to go beyond what we could ever want or need in our lives. God is not a genie, but he is the God who is able to exceed our expectations and he is faithful to his word.

I recently learned a thing or two about God. I had a situation where I needed a really good dependable car. I went from dealership to dealership looking for something cute and good-running, but did not really know what I wanted nor what I needed.

I was pressured by salesmen to settle for an expensive car that I wasn’t sure I wanted. If I would have purchased,  I would have been taking a chance on a car that may or may not last with a note that I would be enslaved to with a price far above my price range, and possibly end up in the same position again of needing a car.

So, I decided to wait. I decided to get my transmission fixed on my old car and make other necessary repairs until I found something that fit what I wanted. What I thought I wanted was a newer Chevy Malibu so I would always search online for those cars in my local area.

I had found a Chevy Malibu with a moon-roof and automatic windows  online several months later. I felt it was OK so I did not pursue it heavily. I went to that same dealership with the Malibu. The car of my dreams was waiting on me when I got there. The car that I purchased was a spitting image of the Chevy Cruze, which is a car that I really love how it looks but was outside of the budget that I wanted to spend.

God in his providence and exceeding favor knew that I liked that style of car. He had the dealer purchase a similar looking car from up north and drive it into the dealership the day that I had planned to be there. The car was so new it had not been entered into the internet database yet so other car shoppers could not view it. Why? Because that is the car that God had set aside for me. The price of the car was unbelievable. It actually fit my budget giving me the wiggle room to pay extra on it each month to pay the car off early.

That whole situation ministered to me greatly. It ministered the point that not only is God able to meet our needs, but he is able to exceed just meeting our needs. I wanted a good-running dependable car with a sun-roof and automatic windows. I got a good-running, dependable, great looking car that I really love with my sun-roof and automatic windows. The car is so me. It fits me very well. People always tell me it looks newer than it actually is which it does.

What did I learn from this whole experience? I learned to know what you want, and for the stuff you don’t know trust God and he will give you that and more.

I learned not to settle for the first deal that comes along because the first deal that comes along may not be what God has for me. I learned to wait for the right deal, and that the right deal will certainly be worth the wait like the scripture says, “the blessing of the Lord makes rich and adds no sorrow with it. (Proverbs 10:22)”

Finally, I learned that the right deal which is the one that God has to offer will exceed my expectations. So, be encouraged in this single journey and know that God already has what’s for you ordered up with extra trimmings it’s only a matter of time. He is the God who exceeds our expectations.

Just like God blessed me with the car that mirrors the Chevy Cruze without the Chevy Cruze price. I know that he is able to bless me with my husband in the same way greatly exceeding my expectations showing me that I should never entertain settling.

I Got Rid of My Vices Now What?

I Got Rid of My Vices Now What?

Hebrews 13:5 simply says let your conversation be without covetousness and be content with such things as ye have for he hath said, I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.

God wants us to know that he is enough. I’ve been meditating on the above scripture re-acclimating myself with what it means to be content. To be content in the Thayer Definition dictionary means:

1. A perfect condition of life in which no aid or support is needed.

2. Sufficiency of the necessities of life.

3. A mind contented with it’s lot.

4. To be possessed of unfailing strength.

5. To be strong, to suffice, to be enough.

6. To Defend or ward off.

7. To be satisfied or to be contented.

Do we see ourselves as possessing all of those things that contentment makes up? Most of those who read this blog are in their 20s and 30s; therefore, we all have heard a thing or two about contentment. However, because of the pressures placed on us from expectations of others, we at times have gotten out of our place of contentment and tried to meet those expectations for ourselves; instead of waiting on the promises of God.

But God wants us to get back into that place of contentment looking to him because he is enough. Normally, when we give up a vice, there is a void left. There is an in contentment, a feeling of what do I do now?

Some of us attempt to seek God, and if there is no answer right away we like the fool return to our vomit.

“As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly. (Proverbs 26:11)”

Everyone at some point in their lives has played the fool, so don’t feel bad if this is you. Just don’t continue to play the fool. Know your worth. Know that you are worthy of more than vomit and mess.

One night after I had given up a vice, I had those feelings of what next, emptiness, and needing to be replenished. For clarity I will share my vice. My vice was talking to a gentlemen who was not good, nor right for me and I knew it all along, but held on because he met a few emotional needs. Even though my vice was not what most would consider sin, it could have easily led to sin.

I could not wait to seek the Lord the next day after work. I prayed to the Lord and God was silent. I believe in keeping it very real, so I told the Lord this is not the time to be hiding yourself with intentions on upping my Jesus-stalking tendencies LOL.

I had an expectation of the Lord. I had made a choice to be obedient and give up what did not please God for his presence knowing that God is a watcher of his word to perform it, and that his word says that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek after him, and that if I drew near to him that he would draw near to me (Hebrews 11:6, James 4:8).

When it came time to go to bed, God begin to minister to me. He told me that he was enough as I began to weep in his presence. He bought up Moses again reminding me that he was up on that mountain alone w/the exception of Joshua in the distance, and how sometimes when we are in that place of intimacy with God people don’t understand it, and it can sometimes be a lonely place, but in that place that can sometimes be lonely God is there, and he is enough. He is enough to fulfill us, to make us whole, and complete to the point where we are lacking nothing.

We have to remember that God is on our side. He has given us the Holy Spirit to comfort us. One morning, I woke up and I heard the Lord speaking into my spirit clearly saying that you are whole and complete in Christ. God wants to remind us that we lack nothing in him. Single, married, divorced, or whatever the case may be we have more than we will ever need through Christ. If we could only see the way that God sees (Meditate on that).

God is bursting at the seems to surpass our needs and the things that we ask of him, but our faith has to be there. God patiently waits for us to come up to where he sees us reaching and when we get there it’s like yes their ready for what I have had for them all along. So, don’t be distracted by the things that you think you need right now. Entrust everything that you feel you need to Christ as he leads you to grow in trust and faith towards him even more. He wants to provide for you manna from heaven in your wilderness seasons to reveal to you who he is. God is a real God of intimacy with his people and that is what he desires with us. That is what I believe is part of the reason why God instructed Moses, when he rained manna down from heaven, for the people not to gather too much. God warned that the people who gathered too much manna would have rotten manna the next day, but the people who gathered just enough manna would have more than enough (Exodus 16:4, 16:17-18).

The people who gathered just enough manna we’re the people who trusted God to show up every day meeting their consistent need because God was enough.

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Giving honor to whom honor is due: A small conversation with Richard Smallwood.

I was a little reserved about interviewing Richard Smallwood due to the fact of him being from a different generation. I wondered if I knew enough about him to hold a conversation. My knowledge of him was limited to some of his biggest staple songs. However I had an interview with him that went very well. Due to minor technical difficulties, the interview will be covered in writing instead of audio.
First of all, Mr. Smallwood is a very humble man of depth with God. That was made very evident and clear in his conversation and in the manner that he carried himself.

He was asked  the following questions:

Russelyn: How does it feel with several churches across the country singing your songs?

Smallwood: You know I never really get used to it. It’s an amazing experience every time.

Russelyn: You are known for so many staple gospel songs, what is your process for getting music.

Smallwood: I really do not have a process. Sometimes the songs come through experience or I will just hear music, I could be on the bus or even asleep in a dream.

Russelyn: What do you feel has been your big break in music?

Smallwood:  Well, I have always been in music. My mom said since I was very young I would hum full songs from church. I think when my music really start to become more well known was when I did, “I Love the Lord.” Whitney Houston re did that song and it became even more well known.

Russelyn: What was the most rewarding experience that you have had as an artist so far?

Smallwood: Wow, that’s a good question. I would have to say the most rewarding experiences I have had as an artist has been when people have told me how my music has touched their lives. People will come up to me and tell me your song kept me from committing suicide or your song really helped me through a bad situation, and that is what has been most rewarding to me.

In short, the above is a summary of what Mr. Smallwood and I discussed during our interview. I was really honored to talk to such a legendary and humble man of God. It’s very important as each generation moves forward that we take lessons from the previous generation realizing what really matters and that is living your life for Christ in the most sincere way possible.

Thanking the BRL Awards and staff for affording me two great interviews.

Interview with Lecrae at the 2014 BRL Chicago TGA Awards:

Recently, I interviewed Lecrae at the 2014 BRL Chicago Touching the Generations Award. I asked him about the pressures he has to deal with being more mainstream now, his new movie coming up and also referenced his song called “Wait,” asking him for encouragement for single women. See what he had to say below:

Why Being Successful at this Single Life has a lot to do with Older Women Sharing and Being Examples to Younger Women:

Last night, I stayed up until 1 o’clock in the morning watching a movie about Esther that I had not seen before. I noticed how in this particular movie she was single for a long period of time, and she even asked the question saying, “At my age doesn’t it seem like I should be married by now?” She went through the same struggles that women go through today.

However, I also noticed that she kept focused on being pure before God. She prayed to God on a regular basis was humble enough to listen to her teachers, and walk all the way into her destiny as the King’s wife fulfilling her purpose to save her people.

Before I got home yesterday, I had gone to the beauty school to get a pedicure, and the lady who serviced me was a born-again believer. She was slightly older than me, but she greatly encouraged me giving me sound advice.

She shared with me how she waited on the Lord until she was 32 when God gave her the husband that he had for her. She was not perfect during her wait nor did she always make the best decisions, but she was willing to share a few things with me such as:

She asked me the question have you been prophesied to about your husband or has God spoken to you about your husband? I shared with her yes, and the specific instances where God dealt with me directly, and also how he used others to encourage and prophesy to me concerning my husband.

  • She said to stand on that word. She said not to listen to people who say that there has to be something wrong with you to have to wait on the Lord for so long. He does things in his own timing, and according to his will and his will is what you want.
  • She said when men come along that God shows you are not the one then leave them alone.

What she shared may not seem like that much to some, but it was enough to encourage me to continue on trusting in the Lord and to know that he is faithful to bring his promises to pass because he bought it to pass in her life.

So many times the devil would tempt single Christians to think that there is no one out there for them unless they lower their standards. That is why it is so important to see examples of women who have waited on God and have been blessed.

When Job was under attack by Satan, he was tempted to believe that it is a vain thing to live for God because here Job was living for God, and his family dies, he loses his riches, his body is full of boils and illness. His friends are prophesying to him that he must have done something wrong or sinned against God in some way. Job is tempted to question God, but yet he has no right to question God who is much greater than him, who formed the earth and so forth.

The sum of the matter was that God had bragged on Job knowing that he had given Job all that he needed to overcome any situation. He also knew that Job was a faithful man who truly loved him and whether Job had a lot or a little bit he would still give God all the praise and glory. Even through all of the heartache that Job went through he was still able to be content in that situation.

One night a couple years ago, I was laying in the bed at night and I asked God why did you do this to me? Meaning, why did you call me to be single for so long? God responded back to me because he could trust me with it. During that time, God had put on my heart to read Job and I did.

Just as Job was a man of God who was faithful, yet had other believers, who we’re his friends telling him he did something wrong to be in the condition he was; Similarly, there are other ignorant brothers and sisters in Christ discouraging singles telling them they must have did something wrong such as worshiping the  idea of marriage instead of God, but with many that is not the case at all. God knew that he could trust certain singles to be single for long periods of time to concentrate wholeheartedly on his will and his work and like Job came out double-blessed so will we.

As single Christian women, it is important who we listen to. Are we going to listen to what God is saying about our situation or other people who don’t really understand. It is so very important to have examples of women who have gone before, who have waited on the Lord, been strengthened by God, and overcame all the way to their promise of the godly spouse that God has for them.

If more women we’re transparent, their would be less gullible women believing the lies that ungodly men tell them in order to use and abuse them. They would not believe the lie that says that it is impossible to wait on the Lord and to have a godly relationship. They would not believe the lie of the enemy that says following the standards of God’s word is too high, and in order to get a spouse a woman would have to compromise. Women believe these things because these are the only things they see, and know.

There has to be older women to show them different, women who are not afraid to be transparent. Even if an older woman feels that her contribution is small. That small contribution may be the very thing that saves a young woman’s life.

Recently, I was excited to hear that an older woman who has been an example in my life, after waiting years for a godly husband, and spending her time doing the work of the ministry, has been blessed with a godly gentlemen to whom she has become engaged. I am talking about Pastor Kimberly Ray.

She recently wrote a book called Spiritual intervention, and she has a whole chapter dedicated to singles. She shares important points saying:

“Proverbs 31:25 – Strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come. Those are the very attributes the enemy wants to steal from single women.”

I thought about it and said she’s right. Those things that keep us strong are the very things that the enemy wants to steal from us. He wants us to faint in well doing, so that in due season we will not reap because we fainted.

Pastor Kim also shared in her book saying, “For those who desire to marry and are wondering when God will bring them a mate, please know this: God loves you, and He made a man of God for you who will not play games with your emotions. He will honor, love, and respect you. Don’t Settle.”

I am very encouraged by her example and God’s faithfulness in her life. If you would like a copy of her book please visit the following link: http://www.pastorkimberlyray.com/

Last but not least, I came across an article written by Essence magazine regarding a 32 year old woman who waited on the Lord for a spouse, and according to the article, God shared with her that she would meet her husband last year. She met him at a Christian function they talked and emailed for a while then they began to date. After approximately 6 months they we’re engaged. To read the full story visit the following link: http://www.essence.com/2014/04/23/just-engaged-have-faith-love

The examples of the four ladies in this blog: Esther, the woman at the beauty school, Pastor Kimberly Ray, and the couple in Essence magazine are all there by God to build our faith.

I pray that all who read this blog are encouraged, and that God would place godly examples before you to build your faith so that you can walk confidently into his will and plan for your life.

What are the Vices that you are holding on to in your life that replace your intimacy with God?

Part II

Continuing from our last blog regarding vices and intimacy with God:

5.) Make up your mind to suffer with God’s people. The Bible says that God will not allow us to be tempted above what we are able to bear, but will with the temptation make a way to escape, but we have to make a choice to do some suffering that may be required. As much as we hate to hear as believers, we are still called to deny ourselves, place our flesh under subjection, to suffer with Christ in order to reign with Christ, and yes suffering is a fruit of the spirit that is necessary because of this unsaved flesh that we walk in everyday.

One evening after a rough night of suffering with this flesh, God reminded me of Hebrews 11:25-27 where it says that Moses, by faith chose rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season.

Thayer’s Greek Lexicon dictionary defines “to suffer affliction with” as to be ill treated in company with or to share persecutions or come into a fellowship of ills.

Strong’s Greek Dictionary defines “to suffer affliction with” as to endure persecution together.

Why is this important? It’s important because when people suffer or deny themselves together, they draw strength from one another until deliverance comes. We have the promise of deliverance from God as believers because his word says many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivereth us out of them all (Psalms 34:19). While we are waiting on deliverance, we can grow strong together. Even though we face temptations and urges we gain strength when we see our brother or our sister standing.

A vice has the ability to cause a person to believe they are something that they are not.

Moses for a long time believed he was an Egyptian, which he was not. When Moses realized that being an Egyptian had been able to meet his needs for a season, but it wasn’t who he was nor what God had for him, he had a choice to make. Would he give in to the temptations of Egypt and allow Egypt to become a vice for him meeting his needs temporarily, yet not being what God has for him or would he walk by faith and see what God had purposed for him since the beginning. We see that Moses made the right choice.

One day he found out that he had been set apart for the Lord at birth with a purpose by God to be used as a deliverer to his people, and he made up in his mind to suffer.

He made up in his mind to suffer with the children of God until deliverance came, and deliverance came in a big and sure way.

I want to encourage everyone dealing with a vice to make up in your mind not to define yourself by that vice. That vice is not you. You are not a glutton, alcoholic, drug addict, porn addict, pre-marital sex or adultery addict. You are called by God with a purpose from birth so others can be delivered and set free. So, make up in your mind to suffer with other believers in Christ until deliverance comes.

Everyone has their own cross to bear. When you find out what your cross is, you have to pick that cross up and start bearing it. It’s not going to be easy, and that’s OK. When it gets hard we have to look at Jesus Christ and how he beared his cross to the point of blood (Hebrews 12:2). I’m sure it was hard for Jesus to be beat, spit on, talked about, and have his flesh ripped through, but no matter what happened he went right back to that cross because he had his mind made up to suffer for our freedom.

6.) Trust in the Lord as you let go of the vice. I would imagine that Moses had to trust God in that choice. At least as an Egyptian, he knew where his needs would come from. He knew he had a roof over his head, the finest clothes, plenty of food, and his choice of nearly any woman as a son of the Pharoah, but he gave it all up. That takes trust and faith to give up what you can see for what you cannot see. When he trusted God, it all turned out well for him. He found a wife, had children, had food raiment, and a new family to enjoy. He completed his purpose in God and was a great example to many generations. All that he knew all of his life as an Egyptian, and thought he needed all of his life, he did not really need at all. When he let go of his vice he found a much more fulfilling life. Don’t be afraid to let go of anything or any relationship that God is telling you to let go of. You can trust God to take care of you and all that you need. He is trustworthy. We can put our trust in God and know that He’s got us.

7.) Lastly, Strengthen your intimacy with God. What did Moses do when he found out that he was not an Egyptian? He strengthened his intimacy with God. Often times, intimacy or close fellowship with God is emphasized more so among women, but Moses was a man who began to have an intimate relationship with God. If you read back in the old testament, it shows how Moses met with God on a regular basis on that mountain. He talked with God all the time, and asked to see more of God. He was a person who had close fellowship with God. (Hint to the brothers. It’s ok to go crazy over God as a man. It’s not feminine nor does it take away from your masculinity, but it is necessary.)

People who do not maintain a close relationship with God get caught up in sin and vices more often than those who do maintain a close relationship with God. That’s why when Moses was up on the mountain after the children of Israel had come out of Egypt into the wilderness the people began to sin and worship idols partaking in all sorts of displeasing things because they should have been up on that mountain worshiping and getting to know God also, but they left it up to the pastor or leader. It’s not just for pastors and leaders to have an intimate relationship with God. It’s for everyone to have an intimate relationship with God.

We have to be careful that we don’t get so busy or so distracted that we prioritize everything else over our intimate relationship with God because it opens the door to so many things that can be avoided. Let’s not ignore the vices that have come into our lives, but deal with them starting with drawing closer to God.

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What are the Vices that you are holding on to in your life that replace your intimacy with God?

Part I

Vices are temporary pleasures that people hold on to in order to fill a void. Normally, vices lead to bondage or cause individuals to form unhealthy habits or addictions.

Examples of vices include:

  • Gluttony
  • Pornography
  • Alcoholism
  • Unhealthy Relationships
  • Drugs
  • Masturbation

As Christians we are not exempt from dealing with vices. Often vices are based around legitimate needs that are being fulfilled in an illegitimate manner if we look at our vices through the lens of God’s Word.

For example: It’s OK to eat food because you are hungry and need food to live, but to abuse your body and gorge on food because food has become a vice in your life is not good.

The question is how does a person who realizes that he has become addicted to a vice become free, and stay free?

I will share a few things that I have learned as it relates to dealing with vices.

1.) Deliverance from a vice may happen right away for some people, and it may be a process for others. Whatever the case may be to get free from the vice, you have to be determined to stick it out doing whatever is necessary to be delivered. Until a person gets to the point of being willing to do whatever it takes to be free, they will not be free. It isn’t going to be easy, but it will be worth it.

2.) Depending on how drastic the vice is, it may require drastic measures to be free from it such as fasting and prayer. (Matthew 17:21i) There is a spirit attached to every vice, and sometimes God will lead you to go on a specific fast in order for you to be in a place of preparation for God to come in and break the yoke. (Isaiah 58:6ii)

When you fast you are denying yourself and putting your body back under subjection where it belongs (1 Corinthians 9:27iii). You are also growing your desire for intimacy toward God placing yourself in a position to receive from him. God promises through his word that those that hunger and thirst after righteousness shall be filled. You have to prepare yourself to desire God and his way of doing things, it doesn’t come naturally to our flesh because our flesh is against God (Romans 8). God will then come in and give you strength. You may need to complete several fasts before you get free. The flesh is a beast, and it doesn’t do you any good to get instantly free from your vice when you haven’t prepared yourself to want to stay free. You have to want closeness with God more than you want that vice, and often fasting and consistent prayer is how you get that.

3.) Feed your Hunger for God: You have already begun feeding your hunger for God through fasting and prayer. As previously stated, the Bible says that those that hunger and thirst after righteousness will be filled. (Matthew 5:6) You want to be filled with good things. Things that please God. It is essential to replace negative habits with good habits. There are specific passages of scripture that address what happens to a person who has been delivered from demonic oppression. The sum of the scriptures basically states that when an unclean spirit leaves a man, it goes through dry places seeking rest and finds none. So, it comes back to the same person finding that person void, or empty. It then brings seven more spirits worse than itself and the last state of that man is worse than the first. (Luke 11:24-26)

There are spirits attached to every vice that make it harder for a person to become free from a particular vice. Once a person seeks to become free from a vice, he has to fill himself up on the things of God. Things that build his faith in God and not toward the vice for example, the Word of God, Prayer, Sound teaching, and worship. If a person walks around empty as if they don’t need to get into the Word of God, fellowship with other believers, or prayer, it will be easy for that person to become overtaken with the vice again in a much worse way.

When I am tempted to give into a vice. I remind myself that the reward for walking in holiness and obedience is intimacy or close fellowship with God.

Psalms 15 talks about who gets the privilege of hanging out with the Lord by saying:

“Lord, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? who shall dwell in thy holy hill? He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart…”(Psalms 15:1-2).

In sum the scripture goes on to say that those who practice walking in holiness and righteousness are those that get to hang out with God. They are the ones that get to see God at work operating and actually notice it because they have learned to be sensitive to the Spirit of God and not to grieve the Spirit of God. Psalms 24:3-5 continues in the same vein:

“Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place? He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully. He shall receive the blessing from the Lord, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.” Psalms 24:3-5

Finally, Isaiah talks about how sin separates us from God.  But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear. (Isaiah 59:2)

4.) Realize that God’s desire is to help you to remain free, but you have to exercise your will toward integrity:

There is a story in Genesis 20 that tells how Abraham lied to a king named Ambimelech about Sarah, his wife, saying that she was his sister. The Bible says that he did so because he was afraid that King Ambimelech would kill him and take his wife as his own due to her being so beautiful.

King Ambimelech, then took Sarah into his house as to make her a concubine, but before Ambimelech could touch Sarah, God gave him a dream. In the dream, God warned King Ambimelech that if he touched Sarah he would be a dead man as well as others connected to him because Sarah is a married woman.

Ambimelech’s response to God in the dream was, “would you slay a righteous nation?” He went on to say how he was deceived by Abraham and Sarah and how he bought Sarah into his home based on the “integrity of his heart and the innocency of his hands.”

God responded to Ambimelech saying, “Yea, I know that thou didst this in the integrity of thy heart; for I also withheld thee from sinning against me: therefore suffered I thee not to touch her. (Genesis 20:6, KJV)

As we can see from the above story, God says specifically that he kept the king from sinning. The king’s heart was already toward the Lord to do right. The king did right all he knew, and God made up for what he did not know.

God is always looking out to help us to obey him. He is a good God who understands that we are just men and women (Psalms 103:14iv). God delivered King Ambimelech out of a temptation that he did not even realize he was in. God promises to make a way for us out of temptation. He is on our side and committed to our success to be free from anything that would attempt to interrupt our relationship with him.

There are 3 more important points to share on the topic of vices coming up in part II of this very same blog. Stay tuned for part II very soon!

i But this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting. Matthew 17:21 (NIV)

ii Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke? Isaiah 58:6 (KJV)

iii But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway. 1 Corinthians 9:27 (KJV)

iv For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust. Psalms 103:14 (KJV)

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