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The Burden of Being Young:

In a young person’s 20s there is often a burden to get certain things done by a certain age. A young person may say by a certain age I want to make my mark doing A or B. I also want to have checked off of my list buying a house, getting married, dashing into my dream career, all while avoiding the process that builds character, causes us to have patience, become stable well-rounded adults, and most importantly causes us to learn to depend on the Lord.

Many of us have grown up hearing older people say go get it. You can do anything. All things are possible, and yes these things are true, but one of my mentors shared something additional with me. She said that I know you have your plans and the things that you want to do and you ask God to make it happen for you, but you need to learn how to follow God.

Sometimes, we can be anointed and appointed for something, but God wants to take us through a process to build our character and cause us to rely on him first. One of the most important scriptures in the Bible says to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all other things will be added unto us (Matthew 6:33).

King David in the Bible was specifically sought out by God through the prophet Samuel. He was anointed and appointed by God to be the king of Israel in place of Saul, who displeased God.

I love David because him and I have a lot in common as far as being rejected and off to himself as a shepherd tending to the sheep and worshiping God. He was not sought after by men who overlooked the many gifts that God had placed inside of him. When Samuel first came to Jesse’s house (David’s father) to anoint a king; Jesse never called for David until Samuel specifically asked if there were any more sons. Jesse bought out all of the best looking sons that appeared strong and prepared according to man’s standards.

David, however was prepared by God. He would not take the throne right away, but he even after being anointed had a process that remained for him to go through. God would create an opportunity for him to defeat a Philistine named Goliath which gave him favor with the current king Saul, yet also it placed him at odds with the king to the point where he had to run for his life.

David displayed godly character in having an opportunity to kill the King, but continuing in respect he humbled himself and allowed the king to live. It was clear that God was with David and he had to seek God several times to figure out what to do. In seeking God first as young people we allow seeking him to become a part of our character where it is a normal thing to acknowledge God in all we do. When we are placed in position to do the things that God has shown us we will be better for it.

Today, we can see many young people in their 20s and 30s with their hands in so many things trying to make that mark, but God is saying that the mark is right here with me in my presence is where you will find your identity, your vision and goals for life and guess what the responsibility to bring those things to past also falls on God as well when we seek him first.

I mentioned this before in one of my blogs, but I will mention it again. I can remember one day I was on a fast seeking God laid out on the floor praying asking God how to deal with all of these different desires and passions that I have inside of me to do various things. I asked God how would I do these things seeing how it is so much. Where would I begin. God gave me a scripture as a response.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10

That scripture took the pressure off of me and placed it on God who is well able to carry it and bring it to pass. He bears the responsibility of bringing the things he has placed within us to pass, and our responsibility is to follow him, but if we aren’t prioritizing seeking him how can we follow him?

As young people we have to learn to place our burdens on the Lord, and he will give us rest as he carries us. He will give us instruction, ideas, witty inventions, as we walk by faith and God’s leading into his promises for our lives whatever those promises may be.

When I was a late teen in college about 19 or so, I used to lead a prayer group called, “The Prayer Closet” at the school. We would pray in a designated empty class room in between classes. I remember praying in their one time with a friend of mine who is a prophet. She told me not to worry about what I was to do when I graduated that God had me. She said that I would be working at a non-profit.

Yep, that happened just like she said. When I was 22 years old I got my job at a non-profit. That is the full-time job that takes care of most of my needs. I have been there for going on 9 years. All the while I do additional things that the Lord has placed on my heart such as the Abstinence education, blog writing, small group leading with a young adult encouragement group and radio program. God has given me favor, grace, and the ability to do these things preparing the way for me.

If we would seek and trust God, he will direct us. God has got us. The Bible says that God enlarges our steps underneath us to keep us from falling (Psalms 18:36). That means that a lot of scrapes and bumps can be avoided as young people through following God.

When we do things on our own without following him; we run the risk of being so out of whack that we don’t know what we are supposed to do, rejection due to not meeting other men’s standards or standards we have set for ourselves, or pride if we are successful.

There is nothing wrong with having ambition, and a burden to do something great, but we are greater when we follow God. Either way we are covered as believers because of the covenant in Christ that we have. When we fall all we have to do is come to God and he will restore us, cleanse us, and cover us. We are such a blessed people and we need to realize that as we walk with God and allow him to take our burdens for his burden. The Lord is with us and for us. If we come to him and ask him for wisdom he will not look down on us (James 1:5), but love us and gently guide us to our purposes found in him.

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The Other Side of Waiting Part II: With Mark Holmes a 31 year old Male Virgin

The below interview is from a man of God who remained a virgin until marriage. This interview was done last year at the age of 31. He remained a virgin until marriage. Listen to the interview below by clicking the play button on his picture. He discusses what it was that made him wait. His father’s impact on him, and avoiding falling into the negative images expected of men by popular culture.

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The Other Side of Waiting Part One w/Lakita Garth-Wright:

In today’s world we could use all of the encouragement that we can get. When it comes to waiting on the Lord for the right counter-part as well as to have sex until marriage, there are many things that can discourage a person. I am so thankful for a role model to our generation named Lakita Garth-Wright.

Mrs. Lakita Garth-Wright is a nationally known public speaker, abstinence educator, former radio and television personality, former Mrs. California, and so much more. I really cannot put it all up on this blog. She waited until the age of 36 years old to have sex after marriage. She reminds me of myself also in that she is the only girl with four brothers. How interesting! I never thought when I first heard of her as a teenager that I would also be waiting into my thirties to have sex after marriage and also doing abstinence education. It helps to know that there are others who have traveled your same path and been successful at it.

Without further ado below is the interview that I did of her on my radio show last year regarding the other side of waiting. She talks about 5 steps of relationships that allowed her to see that her hubby is the one for her, the grieving process that she went through before she found her mate, and other helpful tips for singles waiting on the Lord. So hear goes Mrs. Lakita Garth-Wright on the other side of waiting.

Mrs. Wright also has a great book called, “The Naked Truth.” There are many insightful truths that will help anyone on the path of life with the choice to wait until marriage to have sex among other things such as discipline. Stay tuned for part two of the other side of waiting with one of my brothers in the Lord who waited 31 years to have sex until marriage.

To read more about Lakita Garth-Wright Click the following link: http://waitingtillmarriage.org/lakita-garth-wright-virgin-until-age-36/

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Dealing With Depression:

dealing with depression

Depression is a normal symptom of life that everyone will deal with on various occasions of life. It often occurs when unexpected circumstances happen out of the blue that breaks one’s spirit. God’s word however gives us some key things to overcome depression every time unto full and complete recovery.

One of the first times I remember dealing with depression was a long time ago. I don’t even remember what I was depressed about. I woke up and heard God speak to my spirit saying to read about Elijah, so I got my concordance and found 1Kings 18 & 19.

Elijah is one of the people shown in scripture to deal with depression to get through it.

  • Depression has a way of making a believer feel as though the reason they are in their depression is because they have been standing for God and maybe things would be better if they compromised.
  • Depression makes a person feel alone as if he is the only one going through.
  • Finally, depression leaves a feeling of numbness making a person reject themselves and to despair of all hope even the will to live. This is why people with depression go through the motions of life without feeling often being emotionally fragile. These feelings can cause a person to isolate himself.

All these things can be seen in the below accounts of scripture.

Elijah had just come out of doing the work of the Lord proclaiming the truth to the leadership of Israel. He had just had God answer by fire to prove to everybody that his God was God (1 Kings 18:19-39).

He was then hit with an unexpected event. His life was threatened by the queen of Israel the wicked Jezebel (19:1-2).

He went through the below emotions and God had an answer for each one:

He was famished, tired, and had done all he could yet still ending up threatened and weak. He went into the wilderness which can represent being in the middle of no where, where it’s easy to ask yourself how did I get here, and what is going on[i]?

God’s first response was to send his angel to feed him. The angel of the Lord told him that he would need it for the next place that he was going to. Elijah thought God was done with him and he just needed to die but the angel feeding him was the first sign that God was still with him and that he would get through his depression (1 Kings 19:5-8).

Key # 1: We live not by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God

(Matthew 4:4). In other words we are not alive simply by natural nourishment, but we live by the Word of God. We have to look for, expect, and seek God for his daily bread especially during times of depression. There is only so long that we can go without hearing what God is saying to us. When we hear him and eat of his word, it gives us strength to continue in the journey.

Next, Elijah isolated himself in the doorway of a cave. He was probably still thinking those negative thoughts of wanting to die and rejecting himself saying he was no better than his father’s (1 Kings 19:4-9).

God gently spoke to him saying What are you doing here? He states how he has been zealous for the Lord and look where it has landed him (1 Kings 19:9-10). God proceeds to make a point to him in so many words saying I know you are used to me moving in big stuff with you closing up the sky so it would not rain, and sending fire from heaven, but I want you to get quiet before me right now. I have some things and instructions I want to show you for what is to come (1 Kings 19:11-12).

Key # 2: Get quiet before God.

Sometimes, we may be used to ripping and running and working in the kingdom of God watching God make power moves in our lives, but there also comes a time where God simply desires for us to get quiet before him. He uses that time to strengthen us. To multiply our passion for him, and to show us how he wants to move for the next phase of life that he has called us to. Lay out before God in his presence. Listen for God’s instruction and get your worship music going along with the word of God to place your spirit in preparation to hear from God. He has specific things that he desires to share with us while we are in the middle of depression. The Bible says that God is a very present help in the time of trouble. We can expect God to speak with us if we are willing to get quiet before him during depression. Satan may mean for our depression to destroy us, but God will use it to make us stronger.

Last time I had to walk through depression. The Holy Spirit would softly speak scriptures into my spirit, and he even brought songs up in my spirit to listen to such as Israel Houghton search for you. I put that song on and went right into God’s presence. My gifts inside of me began to become stirred up as I listened to the Lord, prophesied to my situation, and rested in God’s presence. Try not to get caught up in how you feel, but allow God’s presence to calm your spirit and cause you to began to trust in God.

Key # 3: We have to fight the urge to be negative and to speak negative things out of our mouths.

Staying in God’s presence is the main way that we as believers can fight the urge to be negative and to speak negative things outside of our mouths. If we are in God’s presence hearing what he is speaking to our spirit we can then speak those things instead of speaking how we feel in the moment of our flesh.

Earlier I mentioned how Elijah began to speak negative about himself saying that he was no better than his fathers and he should just die, but God did not address him in that manner. God still addressed him as God’s anointed set apart for his glory. God showed him what he was to do next which was to anoint a young man who was also zealous for the Lord named Jehu to be the new king over Israel. God had planned to d-throne the wrist-limped Ahab and controlling Jezebel. They represented the current king and queen of Israel, but God wasn’t feeling them and their foolishness. God had big plans for Elijah just like he has big plans for us if we would only place our trust in him.

It is normal to be tempted to be negative and to speak negative while going through temptation, but it will not get us anywhere. It will only set us back. Death and Life are in the power of the tongue and we eat the fruit of what we say (Proverbs 18:21).

I can remember one time years ago I was going through a depression and I don’t remember what it was about, what was coming out of my mouth was not lining up with God’s word or plan for me. I was just frustrated and would say stuff. I remember having a dream during that time, and I don’t know how I knew, but I knew that the person in my dream who looked at me in a very serious and frustrated manner saying to me, “Russelyn, Be careful what you say.” was one of the angels that God has assigned to me.

The Bible says in Hebrews that God has ministering spirits (angels) that minister to the heirs of salvation[ii]. We are the heirs of salvation. We have such a great inheritance in Jesus Christ, but when we speak against what God is trying to do we hinder the work of those angels ministering on our behalf and it frustrates them because they have an assignment by God to carry out but become hindered by our words.

Elijah’s complaint was that he was alone. He thought he was the only prophet of God left (1 Kings 19:14). God’s response was that he has seven thousand in Israel who’s knees have not bowed down to Baal (vs. 18). He confirmed for Elijah that he was not alone.

Key #4: You are not alone.

The Bible says that there are several others of our brothers and sisters in Christ that are going through the same things[iii]. Don’t drink the Kool-Aid that says you are the only one in the world who is going through what you are going through that is a lie from the devil. God knew you would go through what you are going through and he has already made the provisions for you to give you the necessary grace to get through it[iv].

You aren’t the first person to go through depression, and you will not be the last. Try to remember the word of God and stories such as Job, who was blessed double after he was bought through several trying life circumstances. Also, Hannah, who became bitterly depressed so that she poured out her soul to God and he answered her prayer, and lastly Elijah who we are studying in this blog. If God did it for them he will do it for you too. He is no respecter of persons.

To conclude Elijah’s depression, he ended up getting all the way through his depression. It slowed him down enough to hear God, become strengthened for the next phase in life and to complete the assignment that God had called him to. He along with those that God instructed overthrew the current kingship destroying Jezebel and anointing Jehu as the new king.

Just like God was faithful to Elijah to bring him through, and strengthen and preserve him; we can rest assured that God will be faithful to do the same for us. So, don’t compromise and don’t give up, but continue to trust in the Lord[v].

[i] But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers. 1 Kings 19:3

[ii] 13 But to which of the angels said he at any time, Sit on my right hand, until I make thine enemies thy footstool? 14 Are they not all ministering spirits, sent forth to minister for them who shall be heirs of salvation? Hebrews 1:13-14

[iii] 1 Peter 5:9 – Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your bretheren that are in the world.

[iv] But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

[v] O love the Lord, all ye his saints: for the Lord preserveth the faithful, and plentifully rewardeth the proud doer. Psalms 31:23

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Why 50 Shades of Grey will Leave You Unsatisfied:

All I know about “50 Shades of Grey” is what I have seen on the commercials and the news-clips, and that is all I need to know. I recall a scene where the lead character who plays the male starring role says something to the degree of how he doesn’t want love or isn’t into love. He goes on to say that his affinity is of a different sort as he preps to fulfill is lustful fantasies.

The problem with this whole deal is that it places more emphasis on lust and fulfilling sexual desires than on real-love. As believers we have to guard what we have an appetite for because what we have an appetite for will become what we go after.

Movies like “50 Shades of Grey” create a curiosity and appetite for lust and sex without creating an appetite for purity or real-love. Purity and real-love are necessary to fully enjoy sex. (See the blog on purity.) It is no accident that the film was released during Valentine’s Day weekend the love holiday bringing the gift of God called sex down to mere lustful fantasies are a direct attack against real-love and satisfactory sex between the covenant of marriage.

Real-love satisfies, but lust is not satisfactory. Real-love will always be there, but lust is fleeting. A person opens the door to lust and has to search for a lustful relationship again and again to try to feel some sort of satisfaction. The high of a new sexual experience often takes the place of the high of being truly loved.

The door to lust is opened through curiosity and sets up a home in a believers life becoming a stronghold that is hard to get rid of. I met a guy who was a believer, but he opened the door to lust. He meets various girls online and drives out to any of their homes who are willing to have sexcapades with as many of them as possible. He told me he tried to get offline, but could not. He had become addicted to a negative cycle that robbed him of real-love, but gave him momentary pleasure that was fleeting meaning he had to constantly chase lust again to attempt to have any satisfaction.

That is a very sad life. The same theme is echoed through-out Sam Smith’s song, “Stay with Me”. I love the lyrics and artistry of this song as it talks about a one night stand that the gentlemen is involved in and how he doesn’t want his partner to go, but to stay with him. This song really covers the emptiness of choosing a temporary lustship over a real-love relationship. The lyrics go on to say, “this is not love it’s plain to see, but won’t you stay with me.”

If you pay close attention to the video the scene of the choir singing dressed in black appeared similar to that of mourners who are grieving the death of someone or something. Could it be that Real-love has been so gravely under attack in our generation that many have come to believe that an opportunity at real-love is dead? Thus, causing many to choose lust because of the ample accessibility. However, I choose not to believe the lie that real-love is dead, and I choose not to give into the deception that a “50 Shades of Grey” relationship can satisfy me.

Why would we as believers who know the truth and walk the strait and narrow path participate in laying down in the bed of bondage-bondage to our flesh, our emotions, and sexual appetite without love? Is it because of loneliness? Afterward, we will still end up lonely if we only have lust.

If we seek love and allow our affections and desires to be shaped to desire love instead of lust we would not have that problem of not being satisfied because love will always stay. Love endures all. Love is not fleeting. Love gives, it covers, it protects, it builds up, and it satisfies, while lust is the very opposite.

Lust takes. It is not concerned with others, but only itself. Therefore, it does not protect. It tears down when necessary to satisfy itself, and it cannot last because it is a mere imitation of love. A person in lust is not crazy in love as the soundtrack to 50 Shades of Grey suggests, but that person becomes crazy in lust.

In deciding whether to watch 50 Shades of Grey as believers, please think about what you want your affection to be geared toward, because the affection that you shape becomes the affection that you seek to satisfy be that of fleeting unsatisfactory lust or real-love.

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Get Your Spiritual Weight Up:

The Bible says that if you faint in the day of adversity; then your strength is small (Proverbs 24:10). That scripture is not intended to be an insult to call a person weak, but an indicator to measure our strength or how reliant we are on God.

Life has a way of distracting us from God at times especially when things are going well. The sun is shining, gas-tank is full, and belly is full. What more could we want out of life? The truth is sometimes things going well and always feeling well can be an illusion for strength. It can be an illusion to cause us to forget our need for God.

During those times and seasons, God’s mercy comes and knocks us down. God allows circumstances and trouble to take place in our lives to mature us, strengthen us, and to cause us to have to find our strength and joy again in God.

As believers we know that our strength comes from God. The person who is weak in of themselves, but has the wisdom enough to know to depend on God is the person who is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9[i]).

As believers our strength is not built separate from God. Ephesians 6:10 – 18[ii] specifies how we as believers become strong. If you find that your strength is currently small at the moment. Notice it as a good thing that you have become aware of that, and get your spiritual weight up by following Ephesians 6:10-18. Turn off the R&B in this season, and turn on the worship. Prepare yourself to enter into God’s presence by meditating on him, his word, worship music, and much prayer.

When we get our strength up, trouble and tribulation are no longer a strange thing that has come out of the blue, but we place ourselves in position to hear from God as we come through our situations and to see what those situations are bringing us to. In the end, there will be glory, victory, and strength.

Remember the three Hebrew boys in Daniel who went through the fiery furnace. It wasn’t to destroy them, but it was to build them up. After God delivered them from that situation, their faith and understanding of God was stronger, and not only did they see that God was a strong and mighty deliverer, but the whole land of the Babylonians saw that as well giving glory to God.

So, get your spiritual weight up and allow God to turn your story in to glory.

[i] And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

[ii] 10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; Ephesians 6:10-18

Other Encouraging Scriptures to build our strength when we are weak and faint:

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint; Luke 18:1

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Purity

I was laying in the bed resting and thinking about being in God’s presence and how I wanted to be pure to be in God’s presence. I looked up the word pure and the below definition says:

Pure: Free from anything of a different inferior or contaminating thing; from extraneous matter.

God wants us to love him in a pure manner being unmixed with anything that would cause us to be impure or in genuine. He wants us to be free from idols. Idols of lust, selfishness, self-worship, greed, murder, or anything that defiles. These things separate us from God’s presence, but purity draws us in [i].

Like a husband and wife who are faithful to one another. The purity of their relationship draws them to one another; instead of to other things or people that would stand in between. For the couple’s purity; they are rewarded with one another. Without purity between the two of them, tension is bought into the relationship that drives a wedge in between the two of them.

God’s love draws us to purity. When we love God, we keep his commandments [ii]. We willfully choose to be a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God [iii], and we reap the benefits of being rewarded with God’s presence. We do not entertain the things competing for our affection that would make us impure in order to be able to realize God’s affection for us[iv].

God’s love for us is constant, but if we spend time worshiping things allowing ourselves to become impure, we will begin to lose sight of God’s love for us and grow to love the things that we have chosen to make idols in our lives. If we want God, and want to realize his affection for us, we need to pray to God to help us to be pure unmixed with anything that defiles. God will always love us, but it is hard to see when we are in bondage to our flesh or sin due to fighting with condemnation.

“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” Romans 8:1

People who are in Christ Jesus who walk after their flesh will always deal with some type of condemnation because walking in the flesh and in sin is an open door to condemnation, but the person who is in Christ who makes a choice to no longer walk after the flesh, but after the Spirit will not have to worry about condemnation. Purity is a choice. Once we make that choice to obey God; He provides us with the grace and wisdom to do so.

Any distraction that Satan can throw at us to attempt to separate us from God he will, but we have a choice in the matter we can choose to depend on the Lord’s strength and grace to walk in purity or we can just give in to our flesh.

A few things that help with purity are meditating on God’s word constantly, hanging around other believers who are fervent about pleasing God and walking in purity, prayer and fasting, and submitting ourselves to the leading of the Holy-Spirit when he warns us about certain relationships, books, television, movies, boundaries that need to be set or any such thing. Just like we would guard the purity in our marriage relationship with our spouse; we should guard the purity in our personal lives with God.

Questions to meditate on: How important is purity to you? Do you see God’s presence as a reward for purity why or why not? Do we value God’s presence like we should or do we take God for granted expecting him to put up with anything? If we were/are in covenant with a spouse would we put up with unacceptable behavior from them? Why do we expect God to put up with unacceptable behavior from us? Do we respect and honor God in sincerity or are we just playing a game deceived by our current sins[v]?

[i] But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear. Isaiah 59:2

[ii] “If you love me, obey my commandments. John 14:15

[iii] I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. Romans 12:1

[iv] Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Hebrews 12:14

[v] But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13

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If we Paid attention to how thoughtful the Lord is of us; We would not worry about so much:

If we paid attention to how thoughtful the Lord is of us, we would not worry about so much. I had a conversation with my cousin last night as we talked about the best and worst parts of 2014. I shared with her how it ministered to me how thoughtful the Lord has been of me. I shared with her how I had prayed specifically for what I was looking for in a car, and God gave me that plus he exceeded my expectations with what I needed even more. It was something how that car had not been put into the dealership’s system yet making me the first and the last one to view the car before it left the lot, but the car owner pulled up just as I did with the car that I was going to buy within my budget exceeding my expectations. He had just driven it from up north to the dealership just for me. The Lord knew that I would be at that dealership at that time too looking for what I had prayed for. It was weird too when I was doing the test drive an older guy I didn’t know drove past honked the horn and gave me a thumbs-up as if that’s the right one.

In addition to the car blessing, I had told some of my co-workers that I would purchase a bike for myself as a reward for paying my car off once I finally pay it off. I attended a fund-raiser event and filled out a card for the grand prize and was awarded the grand-prize which consisted of a bike, and several other gifts. Again, God exceeded my expectations thinking of me. I have several stories that I could share from my walk with the Lord thus far of God being thoughtful of me in an obvious way.

God’s word says about being thoughtful of us:

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you. Psalms 139:17-18
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God’s thoughts toward us are more than the sand according to the above scripture.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11

Matthew 6:25-33 – sums up the thoughtfulness of God. It discusses how God takes care of the sparrows, lilies of the field, and fowls of the air. It compares the care of those things to the care of his people who are worth much more to God.

But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows. Luke 12:7

Matthew 6 is concluded with the emphasis on seeking God first instead of things and things will be added to us. Let’s try to be mindful on this year of God’s goodness in our lives. At the end of the year, I have a tradition that I’ve done since about 17 years old where I list all of the blessings from the previous year. I also go back and read the blessings from previous years realizing that some of them I have forgotten about. When I read about them and reminisce on the thoughtfulness of God all I can do is smile and be thankful that the Lord loves me so much!

If we have not noticed our biggest job or focus as believers should be to give God our hearts. Yes, God will supply our needs, Yes, God can and will give us the desires of our hearts. Yes, he is thoughtful of us, and careful to answer every request that lines up with his word (John 15.), but we need to remember in the middle of all of this that our greatest job as believers is to give God our hearts.

Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all other things will be given to us. When our hearts are toward God we can appropriately handle all things. We can handle money without worshiping it. Instead we will build up the kingdom of God and have some left over for ourselves. So, yes God is very careful to be thoughtful of us knowing the number of the very hairs on our heads. He is faithful. He pities us like a father does his son being patient with us until we get the things that he tries to show us. [i]. He watches over us providing direction[ii] Let’s pray and ask God to make us sensitive and attentive to his work in our lives so that God can have our hearts and not just our requests as we rest in his care knowing that we can bring our petitions to him and leave them there without worry or anxiety (Phillipians 4:6-7).

[i] Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him. Psalms 103:13

[ii] I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. Psalms 32:8

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4:6-7

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. 2 Peter 1:3

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Friend him? Court him? Associate with her? Proper Relationship Placement for People of the Opposite Sex:

Everyone that we meet of the opposite sex will not be a love interest. People come in and out of our lives in different seasons for different reasons. If we try to cast everyone into the role of future lover, we may be doing more harm than good.

What if God allows a person to come into our lives just to see an example of someone who is living holy for God and that is it. Let’s say for example a girl goes to a unisex salon where of course there are both guys and girls getting their hair done. If a girl goes there long enough she becomes an associate of the people who work there.

They see her face, know her name, have a few meaningful conversations and that is it. After a while of going there she may be presented with an advance from a barber who wants to be more than an associate.

She agrees to go out with the gentleman. They have good conversation, but it is clear that the gentleman is not who she needs for a spouse. If the woman is honest with herself she will keep him in the associate category and deal with him in that sense or even better yet she can understand what type of gentlemen that he is through his conversation in the shop and avoid going out with him altogether to avoid confusion. You can tell a lot about a person by what comes out of their mouths [i].

The young lady could still maintain a friendly associate relationship with the brother getting some of her needs met as far as fellowship, male companionship through friendship in an environment where pressure is minimized for both the man and the woman and the environment is safe and free of compromise at the shop. Because they are fellowship in a public place with other people there is no room for compromise of her purity.

The man would also enjoy her fellowship and possibly grow from being around her in that safe atmosphere. It’s okay to leave a relationship at where it presents itself as far as an associate type of relationship that clearly will not work in a further manner because of things such as being unequally yoked.

I believe that God has anointings of safety at certain places where both men and women can fellowship with one another and see what is in another’s heart through conversation and such without the worry of compromise or distraction.

Dating one on one is not the only way to get to know someone and when done too soon can place unnecessary pressure on a relationship to move to fast. For the unequally yoked relationship a wreck almost becomes certain as the next step.

Women especially have to be careful because we are the weaker vessel. I will admit, I am not an expert on exactly why in the Bible it says that women are the weaker vessel, but we were judged in the garden of Eden to be in submission to our husbands. With that charge from God, women have a right to be somewhat choosy when it comes to picking a mate, because who she picks she has to submit to. A woman should ask herself while she is romanticizing about a particular gentlemen caught up in the awes of being desired by someone for a mate if she is willing to submit to him for the rest of her life , if not she may be wasting her time and his and that is not going to have a good ending.

We have been so cultured by the world, society, media, and images of when a guy and girl click to date or place someone in a romantic category without actually applying discernment of how the long-run with a person may look, or prayerful consideration of why an individual is in our lives.

Again, just because a person is of the opposite sex doesn’t mean that he is the possible boo-thing. It’s okay to leave the relationship at what it presents itself as whether associate, friendship, or potential, until it naturally evolves into more, but a potential should not be assumed for every relationship.

There has to be some form of patience in acquiring what God has for us. The Bible says that through patience the promises of God our obtained [ii]. Give people time to show you who they are without the pressure of dating. Give time for God’ discernment as well.

Assuming a potential for every person of the opposite sex can limit the amount of people in one’s life of the opposite sex because if it turns out sour; it may be hard to go back to being friends or trying to be associates. God’s purpose for allowing that person into one’s life may become lost or looked over altogether for trying to make it into a romantic relationship.

Below are some brief definitions of various friendship relationships from a video by a teacher that I follow called Perry Stone, “Don’t Awaken Love Before Time.” His video can be purchased at the following link: http://www.voe.org/store/dv146-don-t-awaken-love-before-the-time

He broke down the four levels of friendship as such:

Four Levels of Friendship:

Casual – Seeing them in church or somewhere familiar. You don’t develop a deep friendship, but it is based on questions and answers between two people, “How you doing etc.”

Common – We have something in common together. Common interests. For example sports fans of the same team etc.

Close – Based on common goals and dreams.

Covenant – Based on intimacy (not physical intimacy). Someone you will trust enough to share things you normally would not share with other people.

Pastor Stone shared that a person who is dating should not go past levels 1-3 unless they know for sure that they are going to marry the other person. He also provided several additional insights as it relates to relationships that is worth checking out. See the video at the youtube link below for more insight. We watched this video at an encouragement group last year and discussed how relevant it was.

When we take people in our lives who were meant to be associates, or friends and try to force them to be future spouses we create confusion for ourselves as well as for other individuals. We also create frustration from valuable time spent that could have be used in a more productive manner.

We will meet people in our lives who fit each category. Some of those people will be attractive and of the opposite sex, but they may not be appropriate for the last category. Relationships with the opposite sex are all about discerning what God’s will is for each person bought into our lives and being willing to submit to that will when God reveals it to us.

My advice would be to enjoy your life as a single person. Enjoy the fellowship of both men and women in an uncompromising way. It is easy to do this in a group setting whenever possible and be prayerful and honest with God and yourself about everything and you will be fine.

i. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Luke 6:45

ii. That ye be not slothful, through faith and patience inherit the promises. Hebrews 6:12

https://youtu.be/TtoHButhRlg

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Ten Sexy Things about a man other than the Physical:

Some men spend a lot of time and money trying to become the perfect fit of what they feel will attract a woman from shaving, purchasing suits and cologne and doing all the things that scream man, and those things are nice, but may not be the thing that makes the difference when it comes down to snagging the right type of woman.

Most women may not be physically attracted to a guy the first time she meets him so all of the physical preparation goes out the window if that is what a man was banking on to get himself the girl. A woman of God will take the time to get to know the man and she falls in love with his great traits, such as character, and genuine love and affection for her. Normally, after the guy has met the non-physical traits he becomes attractive to that woman in every way and the possibilities become endless. Below are ten of some of the sexiest traits I’ve noticed in men:

A man who follows the instruction of the Lord

This man is very attractive because he carries a certain amount of humility where he realizes he is not in control. He realizes that there is a head over him and therefore he will have fear and respect to treat his woman with because he knows that God is watching. A woman will feel safe to trust his leadership as well knowing that her husband is trusting in the Lord. When this man is wrong, a woman doesn’t have to worry that he will continue in wrong, all she has to do is pray and the Lord will deal with this man and the man will follow the Lord.

The Humble Man

The humble brother is real cool. He carries an aura of peace with him wherever he goes. He isn’t trying to compete with his lady or anyone else, but he is just thankful for who he is and what he has. Humble guys are usually hard-workers who greatly appreciate the big and little things in life. To the humble man his wife is a great jewel and she stays polished with his love bringing honor to her husband wherever she goes[i].

A respectful man

This man considers others in addition to himself. He doesn’t only consider his opinion knowing that he is only human and can be wrong at times. He treats others the way he wants to be treated whether male, female, child, or elder. Because he understands the value of respect, he gives much respect, and receives the utmost respect in return. His lady will have no problem submitting to him because submission is rooted in respect for one another [ii]. This man will be made to feel like a king from his lady and any children that he has especially if his respect is something that he genuinely shows all the time.

A Man of his word

In a world where so many people play games and say they will do something when they actually don’t; the man who actually does what he says he is going to do raises the eyebrows of interest in a woman to be curious about what else could be there. If the man is just genuinely a man of his word; This will be very attractive to a woman. Even if the guy cannot meet an expectation that he has set; he will honor his word enough to call the woman and say, “I wanted to or I tried to, but I just could not do it, let’s do something different” or whatever the case may be.

A man who pursues his God-given vision

This man already listens to God, who has given him vision. He is therefore walking by faith as he takes steps toward his vision. This man is wise. He counts up the cost before he makes a decision. He plans wisely and becomes successful because he is willing to sacrifice according to wisdom for his vision to come to past. His sacrifice includes not doing what he sees other men do as far as wasting time, getting drunk, high, and living the fast life. He knows that he has to be sober to think, plan, and accomplish and that is what he does. He keeps his eyes on his goals, which keeps him out of a lot of unnecessary trouble and makes him a very attractive potential.

A man who is stable

A man who is stable provides security for a woman. He isn’t double-minded one day wanting to live for God and the next wanting to live for the world. The double-minded person is a a person caught in a cycle of instability.[iii]. That person can never get ahead because they have not made up their mind to follow Christ all the way; therefore whatever that person births will be unstable. A woman of God does not want to follow that. A woman needs stability. The stable man who has made it clear that he is submitting himself to God, and when the time comes to one woman, with stable and sustainable income has a few stars in a woman’s eyes. Notice, I did not emphasize income by putting it first when talking about stability. That’s because stable income is not enough to get a woman of God. A man can have income but be unstable in other ways that can hurt the relationship before it even gets started. That’s why it is so important for both men and women to learn themselves and grow as singles before stepping into the responsibility of marriage so that they can handle it better.

A man who listens

This man is not chauvinistic. He doesn’t feel that his opinion is the only one that matters because he is a man and his woman is beneath him, but he understands the value in having a wise woman by his side and therefore listens to her opinion respecting her for the help-meet that she is instead of looking at her like a door-mat or an object to be used and discarded. This man will build his marriage on good communication understanding that communication is not one-sided, but it means listening as well as speaking, not thinking about what he wants to say while the woman is talking to continue to disregard her opinion. The man who listens shows value for his woman, respect, affection, care and love. This man is always to be greatly appreciated.

A man who is handy

I used to talk to a gentlemen who was always multitasking his skills to take care of business and make extra money on the side. He had his regular job, and then when he was off he would remodel people’s bathrooms replacing sinks, towels and such. He also did his own brakes on his car and he was just handy with a few things. I thought to myself wow this dude is so manly Ummm, but the most important things he wasn’t as far as being committed to God and such, so there was no reason for me to continue talking to him. He did have me impressed with his handiness however.

The Manly Man:

While women are credited for many skills such as multitasking, being nurturing, and great care-givers, there are some things that just kind of go along with being a man and they are very attractive. Things such as a man’s communication style offering another perspective that a woman would not have thought of. A man’s willingness to help to solve problems even though he may not always have the clear answer. He will take time with trial and error until he finds a solution. The covering of a man when he naturally protects a woman in a loving way. He may not even know a specific woman, but he may offer to walk her to her car at night, carry her groceries, or hold the door for her. He speaks with strength and authority and enjoys just being a man. His walk is manly. Can you say manly swag? Lol. His talk and manner of dress is manly. He is just an old-fashioned man.

The Mature man

The mature man is a totality of the above mentioned great traits in men. The mature man marks growth, strength, and a readiness for promotion. Maturity shows that a man can handle what he is given. He possesses the very things needed to take on the responsibilities that come his way, and he does it well because he is mature, learned, polished and grown in the ideal of what it means to be a man.

This list is not meant to be a check each one of these off and you will be able to get any woman, but whether to honor and encourage godliness, character, and strength in men. There are still other things involved like God’s will, timing, and whether a woman can see herself committing to a particular guy. Even if a woman isn’t interested in a guy for marriage, if he has some of the above qualities she will definitely pay attention. Thanking God for the men!!!! Hey!!!!!!!! A man and A man!!!!!!!!!! Lol!

i A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

ii Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:25

iii For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. James 1:7-8

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