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Get Your Spiritual Weight Up:

The Bible says that if you faint in the day of adversity; then your strength is small (Proverbs 24:10). That scripture is not intended to be an insult to call a person weak, but an indicator to measure our strength or how reliant we are on God.

Life has a way of distracting us from God at times especially when things are going well. The sun is shining, gas-tank is full, and belly is full. What more could we want out of life? The truth is sometimes things going well and always feeling well can be an illusion for strength. It can be an illusion to cause us to forget our need for God.

During those times and seasons, God’s mercy comes and knocks us down. God allows circumstances and trouble to take place in our lives to mature us, strengthen us, and to cause us to have to find our strength and joy again in God.

As believers we know that our strength comes from God. The person who is weak in of themselves, but has the wisdom enough to know to depend on God is the person who is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9[i]).

As believers our strength is not built separate from God. Ephesians 6:10 – 18[ii] specifies how we as believers become strong. If you find that your strength is currently small at the moment. Notice it as a good thing that you have become aware of that, and get your spiritual weight up by following Ephesians 6:10-18. Turn off the R&B in this season, and turn on the worship. Prepare yourself to enter into God’s presence by meditating on him, his word, worship music, and much prayer.

When we get our strength up, trouble and tribulation are no longer a strange thing that has come out of the blue, but we place ourselves in position to hear from God as we come through our situations and to see what those situations are bringing us to. In the end, there will be glory, victory, and strength.

Remember the three Hebrew boys in Daniel who went through the fiery furnace. It wasn’t to destroy them, but it was to build them up. After God delivered them from that situation, their faith and understanding of God was stronger, and not only did they see that God was a strong and mighty deliverer, but the whole land of the Babylonians saw that as well giving glory to God.

So, get your spiritual weight up and allow God to turn your story in to glory.

[i] And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

[ii] 10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; Ephesians 6:10-18

Other Encouraging Scriptures to build our strength when we are weak and faint:

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint; Luke 18:1

Purity

I was laying in the bed resting and thinking about being in God’s presence and how I wanted to be pure to be in God’s presence. I looked up the word pure and the below definition says:

Pure: Free from anything of a different inferior or contaminating thing; from extraneous matter.

God wants us to love him in a pure manner being unmixed with anything that would cause us to be impure or in genuine. He wants us to be free from idols. Idols of lust, selfishness, self-worship, greed, murder, or anything that defiles. These things separate us from God’s presence, but purity draws us in [i].

Like a husband and wife who are faithful to one another. The purity of their relationship draws them to one another; instead of to other things or people that would stand in between. For the couple’s purity; they are rewarded with one another. Without purity between the two of them, tension is bought into the relationship that drives a wedge in between the two of them.

God’s love draws us to purity. When we love God, we keep his commandments [ii]. We willfully choose to be a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God [iii], and we reap the benefits of being rewarded with God’s presence. We do not entertain the things competing for our affection that would make us impure in order to be able to realize God’s affection for us[iv].

God’s love for us is constant, but if we spend time worshiping things allowing ourselves to become impure, we will begin to lose sight of God’s love for us and grow to love the things that we have chosen to make idols in our lives. If we want God, and want to realize his affection for us, we need to pray to God to help us to be pure unmixed with anything that defiles. God will always love us, but it is hard to see when we are in bondage to our flesh or sin due to fighting with condemnation.

“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” Romans 8:1

People who are in Christ Jesus who walk after their flesh will always deal with some type of condemnation because walking in the flesh and in sin is an open door to condemnation, but the person who is in Christ who makes a choice to no longer walk after the flesh, but after the Spirit will not have to worry about condemnation. Purity is a choice. Once we make that choice to obey God; He provides us with the grace and wisdom to do so.

Any distraction that Satan can throw at us to attempt to separate us from God he will, but we have a choice in the matter we can choose to depend on the Lord’s strength and grace to walk in purity or we can just give in to our flesh.

A few things that help with purity are meditating on God’s word constantly, hanging around other believers who are fervent about pleasing God and walking in purity, prayer and fasting, and submitting ourselves to the leading of the Holy-Spirit when he warns us about certain relationships, books, television, movies, boundaries that need to be set or any such thing. Just like we would guard the purity in our marriage relationship with our spouse; we should guard the purity in our personal lives with God.

Questions to meditate on: How important is purity to you? Do you see God’s presence as a reward for purity why or why not? Do we value God’s presence like we should or do we take God for granted expecting him to put up with anything? If we were/are in covenant with a spouse would we put up with unacceptable behavior from them? Why do we expect God to put up with unacceptable behavior from us? Do we respect and honor God in sincerity or are we just playing a game deceived by our current sins[v]?

[i] But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear. Isaiah 59:2

[ii] “If you love me, obey my commandments. John 14:15

[iii] I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. Romans 12:1

[iv] Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Hebrews 12:14

[v] But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13

If we Paid attention to how thoughtful the Lord is of us; We would not worry about so much:

If we paid attention to how thoughtful the Lord is of us, we would not worry about so much. I had a conversation with my cousin last night as we talked about the best and worst parts of 2014. I shared with her how it ministered to me how thoughtful the Lord has been of me. I shared with her how I had prayed specifically for what I was looking for in a car, and God gave me that plus he exceeded my expectations with what I needed even more. It was something how that car had not been put into the dealership’s system yet making me the first and the last one to view the car before it left the lot, but the car owner pulled up just as I did with the car that I was going to buy within my budget exceeding my expectations. He had just driven it from up north to the dealership just for me. The Lord knew that I would be at that dealership at that time too looking for what I had prayed for. It was weird too when I was doing the test drive an older guy I didn’t know drove past honked the horn and gave me a thumbs-up as if that’s the right one.

In addition to the car blessing, I had told some of my co-workers that I would purchase a bike for myself as a reward for paying my car off once I finally pay it off. I attended a fund-raiser event and filled out a card for the grand prize and was awarded the grand-prize which consisted of a bike, and several other gifts. Again, God exceeded my expectations thinking of me. I have several stories that I could share from my walk with the Lord thus far of God being thoughtful of me in an obvious way.

God’s word says about being thoughtful of us:

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you. Psalms 139:17-18

God’s thoughts toward us are more than the sand according to the above scripture.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11

Matthew 6:25-33 – sums up the thoughtfulness of God. It discusses how God takes care of the sparrows, lilies of the field, and fowls of the air. It compares the care of those things to the care of his people who are worth much more to God.

But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows. Luke 12:7

Matthew 6 is concluded with the emphasis on seeking God first instead of things and things will be added to us. Let’s try to be mindful on this year of God’s goodness in our lives. At the end of the year, I have a tradition that I’ve done since about 17 years old where I list all of the blessings from the previous year. I also go back and read the blessings from previous years realizing that some of them I have forgotten about. When I read about them and reminisce on the thoughtfulness of God all I can do is smile and be thankful that the Lord loves me so much!

If we have not noticed our biggest job or focus as believers should be to give God our hearts. Yes, God will supply our needs, Yes, God can and will give us the desires of our hearts. Yes, he is thoughtful of us, and careful to answer every request that lines up with his word (John 15.), but we need to remember in the middle of all of this that our greatest job as believers is to give God our hearts.

Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all other things will be given to us. When our hearts are toward God we can appropriately handle all things. We can handle money without worshiping it. Instead we will build up the kingdom of God and have some left over for ourselves. So, yes God is very careful to be thoughtful of us knowing the number of the very hairs on our heads. He is faithful. He pities us like a father does his son being patient with us until we get the things that he tries to show us. [i]. He watches over us providing direction[ii] Let’s pray and ask God to make us sensitive and attentive to his work in our lives so that God can have our hearts and not just our requests as we rest in his care knowing that we can bring our petitions to him and leave them there without worry or anxiety (Phillipians 4:6-7).

[i] Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him. Psalms 103:13

[ii] I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. Psalms 32:8

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4:6-7

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. 2 Peter 1:3

Friend him? Court him? Associate with her? Proper Relationship Placement for People of the Opposite Sex:

Everyone that we meet of the opposite sex will not be a love interest. People come in and out of our lives in different seasons for different reasons. If we try to cast everyone into the role of future lover, we may be doing more harm than good.

What if God allows a person to come into our lives just to see an example of someone who is living holy for God and that is it. Let’s say for example a girl goes to a unisex salon where of course there are both guys and girls getting their hair done. If a girl goes there long enough she becomes an associate of the people who work there.

They see her face, know her name, have a few meaningful conversations and that is it. After a while of going there she may be presented with an advance from a barber who wants to be more than an associate.

She agrees to go out with the gentleman. They have good conversation, but it is clear that the gentleman is not who she needs for a spouse. If the woman is honest with herself she will keep him in the associate category and deal with him in that sense or even better yet she can understand what type of gentlemen that he is through his conversation in the shop and avoid going out with him altogether to avoid confusion. You can tell a lot about a person by what comes out of their mouths [i].

The young lady could still maintain a friendly associate relationship with the brother getting some of her needs met as far as fellowship, male companionship through friendship in an environment where pressure is minimized for both the man and the woman and the environment is safe and free of compromise at the shop. Because they are fellowship in a public place with other people there is no room for compromise of her purity.

The man would also enjoy her fellowship and possibly grow from being around her in that safe atmosphere. It’s okay to leave a relationship at where it presents itself as far as an associate type of relationship that clearly will not work in a further manner because of things such as being unequally yoked.

I believe that God has anointings of safety at certain places where both men and women can fellowship with one another and see what is in another’s heart through conversation and such without the worry of compromise or distraction.

Dating one on one is not the only way to get to know someone and when done too soon can place unnecessary pressure on a relationship to move to fast. For the unequally yoked relationship a wreck almost becomes certain as the next step.

Women especially have to be careful because we are the weaker vessel. I will admit, I am not an expert on exactly why in the Bible it says that women are the weaker vessel, but we were judged in the garden of Eden to be in submission to our husbands. With that charge from God, women have a right to be somewhat choosy when it comes to picking a mate, because who she picks she has to submit to. A woman should ask herself while she is romanticizing about a particular gentlemen caught up in the awes of being desired by someone for a mate if she is willing to submit to him for the rest of her life , if not she may be wasting her time and his and that is not going to have a good ending.

We have been so cultured by the world, society, media, and images of when a guy and girl click to date or place someone in a romantic category without actually applying discernment of how the long-run with a person may look, or prayerful consideration of why an individual is in our lives.

Again, just because a person is of the opposite sex doesn’t mean that he is the possible boo-thing. It’s okay to leave the relationship at what it presents itself as whether associate, friendship, or potential, until it naturally evolves into more, but a potential should not be assumed for every relationship.

There has to be some form of patience in acquiring what God has for us. The Bible says that through patience the promises of God our obtained [ii]. Give people time to show you who they are without the pressure of dating. Give time for God’ discernment as well.

Assuming a potential for every person of the opposite sex can limit the amount of people in one’s life of the opposite sex because if it turns out sour; it may be hard to go back to being friends or trying to be associates. God’s purpose for allowing that person into one’s life may become lost or looked over altogether for trying to make it into a romantic relationship.

Below are some brief definitions of various friendship relationships from a video by a teacher that I follow called Perry Stone, “Don’t Awaken Love Before Time.” His video can be purchased at the following link: http://www.voe.org/store/dv146-don-t-awaken-love-before-the-time

He broke down the four levels of friendship as such:

Four Levels of Friendship:

Casual – Seeing them in church or somewhere familiar. You don’t develop a deep friendship, but it is based on questions and answers between two people, “How you doing etc.”

Common – We have something in common together. Common interests. For example sports fans of the same team etc.

Close – Based on common goals and dreams.

Covenant – Based on intimacy (not physical intimacy). Someone you will trust enough to share things you normally would not share with other people.

Pastor Stone shared that a person who is dating should not go past levels 1-3 unless they know for sure that they are going to marry the other person. He also provided several additional insights as it relates to relationships that is worth checking out. See the video at the youtube link below for more insight. We watched this video at an encouragement group last year and discussed how relevant it was.

When we take people in our lives who were meant to be associates, or friends and try to force them to be future spouses we create confusion for ourselves as well as for other individuals. We also create frustration from valuable time spent that could have be used in a more productive manner.

We will meet people in our lives who fit each category. Some of those people will be attractive and of the opposite sex, but they may not be appropriate for the last category. Relationships with the opposite sex are all about discerning what God’s will is for each person bought into our lives and being willing to submit to that will when God reveals it to us.

My advice would be to enjoy your life as a single person. Enjoy the fellowship of both men and women in an uncompromising way. It is easy to do this in a group setting whenever possible and be prayerful and honest with God and yourself about everything and you will be fine.

i. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Luke 6:45

ii. That ye be not slothful, through faith and patience inherit the promises. Hebrews 6:12

https://youtu.be/TtoHButhRlg

Ten Sexy Things about a man other than the Physical:

Some men spend a lot of time and money trying to become the perfect fit of what they feel will attract a woman from shaving, purchasing suits and cologne and doing all the things that scream man, and those things are nice, but may not be the thing that makes the difference when it comes down to snagging the right type of woman.

Most women may not be physically attracted to a guy the first time she meets him so all of the physical preparation goes out the window if that is what a man was banking on to get himself the girl. A woman of God will take the time to get to know the man and she falls in love with his great traits, such as character, and genuine love and affection for her. Normally, after the guy has met the non-physical traits he becomes attractive to that woman in every way and the possibilities become endless. Below are ten of some of the sexiest traits I’ve noticed in men:

A man who follows the instruction of the Lord

This man is very attractive because he carries a certain amount of humility where he realizes he is not in control. He realizes that there is a head over him and therefore he will have fear and respect to treat his woman with because he knows that God is watching. A woman will feel safe to trust his leadership as well knowing that her husband is trusting in the Lord. When this man is wrong, a woman doesn’t have to worry that he will continue in wrong, all she has to do is pray and the Lord will deal with this man and the man will follow the Lord.

The Humble Man

The humble brother is real cool. He carries an aura of peace with him wherever he goes. He isn’t trying to compete with his lady or anyone else, but he is just thankful for who he is and what he has. Humble guys are usually hard-workers who greatly appreciate the big and little things in life. To the humble man his wife is a great jewel and she stays polished with his love bringing honor to her husband wherever she goes[i].

A respectful man

This man considers others in addition to himself. He doesn’t only consider his opinion knowing that he is only human and can be wrong at times. He treats others the way he wants to be treated whether male, female, child, or elder. Because he understands the value of respect, he gives much respect, and receives the utmost respect in return. His lady will have no problem submitting to him because submission is rooted in respect for one another [ii]. This man will be made to feel like a king from his lady and any children that he has especially if his respect is something that he genuinely shows all the time.

A Man of his word

In a world where so many people play games and say they will do something when they actually don’t; the man who actually does what he says he is going to do raises the eyebrows of interest in a woman to be curious about what else could be there. If the man is just genuinely a man of his word; This will be very attractive to a woman. Even if the guy cannot meet an expectation that he has set; he will honor his word enough to call the woman and say, “I wanted to or I tried to, but I just could not do it, let’s do something different” or whatever the case may be.

A man who pursues his God-given vision

This man already listens to God, who has given him vision. He is therefore walking by faith as he takes steps toward his vision. This man is wise. He counts up the cost before he makes a decision. He plans wisely and becomes successful because he is willing to sacrifice according to wisdom for his vision to come to past. His sacrifice includes not doing what he sees other men do as far as wasting time, getting drunk, high, and living the fast life. He knows that he has to be sober to think, plan, and accomplish and that is what he does. He keeps his eyes on his goals, which keeps him out of a lot of unnecessary trouble and makes him a very attractive potential.

A man who is stable

A man who is stable provides security for a woman. He isn’t double-minded one day wanting to live for God and the next wanting to live for the world. The double-minded person is a a person caught in a cycle of instability.[iii]. That person can never get ahead because they have not made up their mind to follow Christ all the way; therefore whatever that person births will be unstable. A woman of God does not want to follow that. A woman needs stability. The stable man who has made it clear that he is submitting himself to God, and when the time comes to one woman, with stable and sustainable income has a few stars in a woman’s eyes. Notice, I did not emphasize income by putting it first when talking about stability. That’s because stable income is not enough to get a woman of God. A man can have income but be unstable in other ways that can hurt the relationship before it even gets started. That’s why it is so important for both men and women to learn themselves and grow as singles before stepping into the responsibility of marriage so that they can handle it better.

A man who listens

This man is not chauvinistic. He doesn’t feel that his opinion is the only one that matters because he is a man and his woman is beneath him, but he understands the value in having a wise woman by his side and therefore listens to her opinion respecting her for the help-meet that she is instead of looking at her like a door-mat or an object to be used and discarded. This man will build his marriage on good communication understanding that communication is not one-sided, but it means listening as well as speaking, not thinking about what he wants to say while the woman is talking to continue to disregard her opinion. The man who listens shows value for his woman, respect, affection, care and love. This man is always to be greatly appreciated.

A man who is handy

I used to talk to a gentlemen who was always multitasking his skills to take care of business and make extra money on the side. He had his regular job, and then when he was off he would remodel people’s bathrooms replacing sinks, towels and such. He also did his own brakes on his car and he was just handy with a few things. I thought to myself wow this dude is so manly Ummm, but the most important things he wasn’t as far as being committed to God and such, so there was no reason for me to continue talking to him. He did have me impressed with his handiness however.

The Manly Man:

While women are credited for many skills such as multitasking, being nurturing, and great care-givers, there are some things that just kind of go along with being a man and they are very attractive. Things such as a man’s communication style offering another perspective that a woman would not have thought of. A man’s willingness to help to solve problems even though he may not always have the clear answer. He will take time with trial and error until he finds a solution. The covering of a man when he naturally protects a woman in a loving way. He may not even know a specific woman, but he may offer to walk her to her car at night, carry her groceries, or hold the door for her. He speaks with strength and authority and enjoys just being a man. His walk is manly. Can you say manly swag? Lol. His talk and manner of dress is manly. He is just an old-fashioned man.

The Mature man

The mature man is a totality of the above mentioned great traits in men. The mature man marks growth, strength, and a readiness for promotion. Maturity shows that a man can handle what he is given. He possesses the very things needed to take on the responsibilities that come his way, and he does it well because he is mature, learned, polished and grown in the ideal of what it means to be a man.

This list is not meant to be a check each one of these off and you will be able to get any woman, but whether to honor and encourage godliness, character, and strength in men. There are still other things involved like God’s will, timing, and whether a woman can see herself committing to a particular guy. Even if a woman isn’t interested in a guy for marriage, if he has some of the above qualities she will definitely pay attention. Thanking God for the men!!!! Hey!!!!!!!! A man and A man!!!!!!!!!! Lol!

i A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

ii Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:25

iii For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. James 1:7-8

Before there was a Lecrae, there was Andrae’ Crouch:

Before there was a Lecrae, there was Andrae’’ Crouch:

Andrae’ Crouch was affectionately referred to as the Father of Modern Gospel and he was the leading staple singer, songwriter and arranger of his generation. He crossed the boundary lines of traditional gospel right into the contemporary without losing the message nor the anointing of the gospel. Name any well known extraordinary artist of the last couple generations and you will find a connection with Andrae’ Crouch from Michael Jackson to Elvis. Andrae’ Crouch was an extraordinarily talented man.

Even though I wasn’t born during the peak of Mr. Crouch’s’ career, I definitely recognized his work as something great when my mom exposed me to his music. My mom would always win records from the radio station in the mid 80s and play them all throughout the house.

The peak of Crouch’s’ career was during the 1970s which was one of the coolest eras for African-American people. We were slightly just past some of the toughest Civil Rights struggles of our history in this country. The 1970s is where the Black is beautiful era became prominent and Blacks in this country were starting to gain some pride and self-worth about themselves and music was a big part of that expression.

Unsurprisingly, Black exploitation films also became popular during that era where drugs and the life of a pimp or super-fly street thug was glorified to the young Black youth of that day, but God always has a remnant of someone to represent his name.

That is what Andrae’ did in the music industry. His music had a similar sound to the popular music of that time, but it was gospel. It was just as cool, just as talented, and original as the music of that time similar to contemporary artists today such as Lecrae, Kirk Franklin, and others. Crouch was considered worldly and a sell out by some as well just like Christian artists today. Before the contemporary movement of artists that we embrace so well today, there were people like Andrae’ Crouch, Shirley Caesar, and Edwin & Walter Hawkins who paved the way for gospel music to be embraced in the mainstream.

Andrae’ is responsible for some of the most beloved gospel songs such as “The Blood Will Never Lose its Power”, “Soon & Very Soon”, “Take me back”, “Jesus is the Answer”, and the list goes on. My favorite song from him is “I’ll Still love You” from the “Take Me Back” album. Andrae’ has won several awards over the years including 7 Grammys, 6 Dove Awards, and other honors. Yesterday, we lost a legend whose contribution to the world will never be forgotten. May Andrae’ Crouch rest with the Lord.

Enjoy one of my favorites form Andrae’ Crouch below:

That’s Why You are Still Single! Really?

So, I just have to address this phrase that is used so rapidly in and out of the church to point out a single in a negative instance of why they are still single as if being single is something negative. Where do people get their data from? Since when is it universally negative among believers that being single is a negative thing. Do Christians know that Jesus was single, John the Baptist was single, and Apostle Paul was single. Why were all of these great biblical figures single? Simply because they were about the will of their father. They knew what their purposes were and they hopped to it.

They were willing to make a sacrifice in order to do what God had called them to do. Whatever calling God calls us to there will be some amount of sacrifice because that is one of the core teaching of being a follower of Christ i.

God’s word says if any man will come after me, let him first deny himself and take up his cross and follow after me. Whether a person is called to be married or single they will sacrifice something as believers. That is why you have some married people who want to be single, and some single people who want to be married during their season of singleness because they no longer want to make a sacrifice.

Singles don’t want to sacrifice their sexual appetite while single, so they seek marriage, and married folk don’t want to sacrifice their selves, personal ambitions and dreams and some seek to be single. The key to contentment however is abiding in the calling that we are currently called to. If we as singles don’t see someone who is appropriate for us in our reach, we may be called to be single for a time. If married folks have made their vow of marriage committing to stick it out with someone, that is probably where they are called.

To everything there is a time and season to every purpose under the sunii. A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing. If we know these things than why are so many singles ostracized, made to be outcasted, looked down upon, and made to feel as though there is something wrong with them for being single. Why is it that when a single is content and happy within that status; it is disdained or he or she is made to feel out of pocket, as though they are missing something. A person can be happy, content, fulfilled, and complete despite what others may think as a single individual.

The truth is there is a place of contentment for married people and single people alike and neither class should be looked at as lesser than or greater than just what a person is called to for the time-being.

I am not saying that singles who are content never want to be married, but we are cool with where we are at now until our season changes.

I want to contribute as much as I can to singles as they walk out their calling before I one day become married because singles are often misunderstood, and lack the proper ministry to be confident in their current shoes.

There is a place of contentment in Christ for singles where despite the fact that singles lack the benefits of marriage; it isn’t always noticeable what is lacked due to the blessing that is currently before the single individuals. For example, Adam & Eve were in the Garden of Eden naked. Being naked represents lack in the Bible or not having something. When Adam & Eve hid from God and God asked them why they were hiding; their response was we were naked. God responded saying, Who told you you were naked? In other words they had been so close to God and enamored with God in the Garden among all of their blessings that they did not know that they were naked or lacking something until they ate of the tree. Adam & Eve shifted their focus from what was important for them in that time which was keeping the commandment of God not to eat from the tree of good & evil. When their focus shifted from obedience to God to pursuing their own curiosities outside of God their world was opened up to see what they lacked and any other imperfections in the world.

Don’t allow someone else’s opinion of you and where you should be in life to distract you from where God has called you to for the time-being like the serpent did with Adam & Eve.

God wants us to be so close to him and enamored with the blessing of singleness that we don’t even realize we lack in certain areas such as having a spouse. God will meet the needs of intimacy that we desire as far as community, and having someone to conversate with who actually listens and contributes to us. As far as the hormones are concerned, God will quiet that for us until marriage where it’s really no big deal if we allow him. He will give us the grace as well for areas where we have fallen.

So, single people need to be confident people. It may take some time, but God will train us and hold us up. Therefore, don’t let anyone steal your contentment in Christ by telling you that’s why you are still single in a negative sense. Reject negativity right away especially when it comes from Christians because Christians are more influential to other Christians.

That’s why the word says not to hang with Christians who fornicate because that Christian will influence another Christian to compromise as well. Unfortunately, every Christian is not mature, and does not have the vision of God for your individual life. Just like Peter, one of Jesus’ beloved disciples did not always have the vision for Jesus’ life. He suggested inappropriate things due to his carnal fleshly thinking and Jesus rebuked him saying get thee behind me Sataniii. Peter was still God’s disciple but unlearned in various areas. It’s the same thing with believers nowadays. Know what to accept and to reject in order to continue to be bold, stable, and confident singles until your season changes.

iThen said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. Matthew 16:24

iiTo every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: Ecclesiastes 3:1

iiiBut when he had turned about and looked on his disciples, he rebuked Peter, saying, Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men . Mark 8:33, KJV

What Type of A Woman Are You? Are You Someone Who Defies Negative Stereotypes or Someone Who Perpetrates Negative Stereotypes?

Being a woman is so much fun! From defining our own styles, to finding our voices, being heard and respected to helping other women and young girls who are coming along on their journey to womanhood. Being a woman can be so rewarding, but on the other hand there can be many distractions from what a woman’s identity should encompass. Below are just some examples of womanhood that I have noticed in popular culture and media where often images and stereotypes are presented to females to choose their identity as such. Are we as women defining who we are by who God says we are or are we just becoming another stereotype?

The Disrespectful Woman:
I’ve noticed that the clothes that are coming out for young girls and young women are getting more inappropriate. There are disrespectful messages on the t-shirts that refer to other women as the b-word, and references to women wearing the shirts as boy-toys and other inappropriate prideful and vain messages. The dresses are getting tighter, shorter, and more revealing. The language of women promoted in popular reality television shows is that of women who disrespect others talking down and at people in inappropriate ways.

All of these things speak to how a woman wishes to be treated because the reality is the way that a woman treats herself and treats others is how other people will feel is an appropriate way to treat her. There is nothing worse for a woman than a woman who disrespects herself. If a woman doesn’t know what is appropriate behavior for herself, she will not be able to show others how to treat her in an appropriate manner.

Furthermore, because of many of the negative images in popular culture that reference Black women, some people of other nationalities believe negative behavior is a norm for us. Therefore, when some Asians open up their beauty supply stores, and clothing stores in our communities, the music that is played is disrespectful toward women. I have complained on several occasions regarding this and gotten the music to be changed at places where I shop. It’s time for Black women and women as a whole to defy the stereotypes. No, we do not all call one another the b-word. No, we do not all go to the club and drop it like it is hot. That ain’t nobodies’ business but our husbands.

The Woman Who Follows the Wind or The Woman of Faith:
Not very long ago, there was huge media attention centered around the idea that Black women weren’t getting married. I recently had a discussion with a woman who is very well-cultured and she feels that Black women are the lest desirable women to Black men in this country of the U.S.A. largely due to the many negative stereotypes that plague Black women such as the angry Black woman or the loud Black woman. She wanted me to write a blog on this, but I shared with her that I did not agree with that notion of Black women being the lest desirable because all Black women do not fit those stereotypes. I will say that yes, there are issues in our culture where many women do fit negative stereotypes, but all African-American women should not be defined by those women.

What she did share was that every time she traveled outside of the country she was treated like a superstar because of the dark color of her skin. She shared that many men in other nations love and admire the Black woman. Those who were not familiar with the negative stereotypes of Black women in this country were able to see the positive attributes about that beautiful Black woman without judging her by negative stereotypes dismissing her before she even had a chance. The woman who follows the wind of what is popular or what the studies are showing will dismiss herself from God’s blessing before it even reaches her because she has gotten out of faith and into the wind. For every lie spoken there is a truth that dispels it. Do you represent that truth or the stereotype that the lie is based on? This is why Christian websites and blogs that promote positive images of Black marriages and successful relationships are so important because they build our faith beyond what we see and hear.

I Got a Big-Butt/Selfie Culture Woman:
This woman is all about the appearance. She bases her worth on how many likes she gets on her Instagram and Facebook pictures that she posts. There isn’t very much emphasis placed on herself outside of her physical beauty. She fits the notion of popular culture that has told young Black girls for years that your worth is derived from how you appear physically especially if you have a big exterior. Many of the most popular female role models in entertainment promote this idea from Nikki Minaj, Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lopez, and now Iggy Azalea. Looking at these examples of women, it can be easy to believe the lie that this type of a woman is powerful, when in reality a woman who promotes her physical attributes above what is on the inside limits herself and causes others to view her in a demeaning way. A woman may get a man with a big behind, but it will take more than that to keep a man.

If a woman or young girl is not connected to God or more positive examples she can easily confuse her worth with just her outward appearance and how guys respond to that while ignoring all of the other things that make her beautiful.

The Bible talks about how the Lord beautifies those that are his with salvation i. The more we submit ourselves to God, the more we will began to see the other beautiful things God has put into us as women besides just our physical exterior. If a woman’s physical exterior is all that she works on and feels that she is worth, than she will attract a guy who feels that is all she is good for. The Bible tells us women to adorn ourselves in modest apparel with humility and sobriety. In other words, God is not opposed to women being confident and feeling physically attractive, but he doesn’t want us to get stuck on that as if that’s all that matters. He wants us to adore ourselves with humility and work on our inner selves that will in turn point others back to him. Our beauty is not given to us as women just to be there, but God has a purpose in it, and that purpose is to point others to him. That’s why God addresses in scripture how holy women of old adorned themselves in a godly manner (1 Peter 3:5).

Desperate Church-Girl:
This is how unfortunately, many church girls are expected to be by some desperately waiting around for a man any man. Looking and watching the new guys who come into the church competing with other girls in the church for his attention. Divisive, Jealous, naive, and ready to do whatever just to have a man. Unfortunately, there are some girls like this who feel their greatest accomplishment in life will be to just get a man. There is nothing wrong with having a natural desire for a man as a woman, but I don’t see God in any of the behavior mentioned above for the desperate church-girl. She seems more like someone who is immature and unlearned in the Lord, who has made an idol out of the idea of having a man. That is a dangerous place to be in as a woman. That woman would seem to be unproductive as it relates to her purpose and goals in life. She needs to get before the Lord and get his vision for her life. She needs to get God’s heart at work in her so that he can mature her into what he has called her to be and use her as an instrument to love her sisters and brothers in Christ instead of competing with them and putting them down. I have seen God bless some of these women with mature godly men to cover them and to help them grow. Other women, have gone through unnecessary circumstances because of their immaturity in this area.

Godly Virtuous Woman:
This woman is a woman of vision. She understands that without a vision people perish ii, so she spends regular time in God’s presence praying, fasting, and reading the word to catch the vision that God has for her life. She is a woman of humility. She patiently listens and follows the instruction of those who are older and wiser when appropriate. She has a sense of worth that only comes from God which breeds faith on the inside of her that she cannot allow herself to put up with anything.

She isn’t sitting around desperate for a man, but she is busy with the work that God has placed in her hands right now in this time and season. She isn’t opposed to a man, but she has entrusted that desire to God, and will welcome it in the time that God has ordained. She is very attractive and it is obvious, but she places the greater emphasis on godliness and presenting herself in a manner that is acceptable to God. Like Proverbs she is clothed in strengthiii and in her tongue is the law of kindnessiv. She is a graceful woman, who builds others up instead of tearing them down. Her character causes her to stand out and have favor wherever she goes. Her reputation precedes her and it shows that she is not perfect but humble and willing enough to get things right.

As women, we have so many choices thrown at us on a regular basis telling us who we are, or who we should be, but there is one who made us from the rib of a man with purpose, beauty, honor, strength and all of his backing behind us to be all that he has called us to be and that is God himself. With all of the choices presented to us, I have found God’s way to be the best way.

i For the LORD taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation. Psalms 149:4 (KJV)

ii Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. Proverbs 28:19

iii Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. Proverbs 31:25

iv She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. Proverbs 31:26

How Do You Respond in the Face of Fear?

Uncharted territory, transitions or huge changes in our lives are common places for fear. This is something that we all will have to deal with. The question is how will we respond when those occurrences happen?

Recently, I was feeling very nervous because of some moves that I am thinking about making in which I have never done before. Of course, the questions come to my mind what if I am not successful at what I am attempting to do? What if I am not as good as I think I am and then I fail?

I was reminded of three scriptures:

The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion. (Proverbs 28:1, KJV)

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9, NIV)

Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD. (Psalms 31:24, KJV)

All of the above scriptures encourage us to be bold and of good courage even as a lion is bold. A lion does not need to be picked up or encouraged in who he is. He knows that he is the king of beasts, and when he roars it is a roar of authority and confidence not fear and disbelief. Not too long ago, I had a dream that I was walking with my dad and lions were next to us walking in the same direction that we were. We were on our way somewhere and I was sort of unsure of what was going on in the dream as to where I was going and how exactly to get there. I was reminded of that dream when I last felt nervous.

Now, I believe the understanding of that dream meant that I was on my way somewhere and that God was with me (my dad significant of God my heavenly father), and because he was with me, I could be as bold as a lion. That is how God sees me when I put my trust in him not someone who should be full of fear

At the time that I had the dream, I just kind of prayed like Lord, what does that mean? I don’t know what you are saying, but when I needed the understanding, God gave that to me. It is so refreshing to know that as believers we are not alone when we go through various circumstances. It’s refreshing to know that God is with us there to lead us, comfort us, and to cause us to be bold in the face of uncertainty.

I said to myself, I am going to start speaking God’s word of boldness and courage over myself when I feel nervous instead of saying that I am nervous because nervousness is fear, and fear has a way of becoming overwhelming and crippling. The person who becomes crippled by fear doesn’t even attempt to move forward anymore, and that is not where we want to be as believers. We want to always be moving forward toward the promises of God for our lives.

Therefore, I will make a choice to be bold until it becomes natural to me in the face of fear by meditating on and speaking God’s word concerning boldness and not being afraid. We have to be careful what we say out of our mouths because death and life are in the power of the tongue. If we say we are nervous and afraid, we will be nervous and afraid. If we say we are bold because God is with us, we will be bold realizing that God is with us.

Below are some additional scriptures to meditate on regarding fear.

Psalms 56:3 – When I am afraid, I put my trust in you (NIV).

Psalms 112:7 – They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the LORD (NIV).

2 Timothy 1:7 – For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (KJV).

How do you respond to the face of fear?

Personal Responsibility and A Balanced View on Ferguson:

The situations that stirred up so much contention and controversy in Ferguson are bigger than Ferguson. The source of contention and strife have to do with the way that we understand and relate to one another of different backgrounds, the tiredness of consistent injustice, and personal responsibility in dealing with various situations.

One of the most relevant things that the President stated the night that the Ferguson Police Department announced its verdict was when he mentioned the history of racial tension and discrimination in this country of America. I will admit we have come along way. Integration has been around for a little over fifty years with laws in place to protect the rights of all Ethnic groups, religions and such who seek the natural civil liberties that every American requires.

However, although we have made several strides over the years the war against racism and social injustice is far from over. We know that racism is more hidden now and less blatant in many cases as it relates to housing, businesses, and other structural institutions. There is a way of communicating one’s racist beliefs in such a way as to not draw immediate negative attention in order to avoid consequence, but it still exists.

With that understanding, I will not say that every problem stems from racism. Some problems simply come from a lack of understanding of a group of people. For example, when I went to California just a couple of months ago, I figured I’d go to an open mic comedy cafe’. I was sitting at the table and a comedian was on the stage. He was a White guy. He made jokes specifically about Black women. The first joke was okay. It was about a Black woman’s weave.

However, he started talking about how Black women are crazy and how he was afraid to have a Black girlfriend because she would catch him cheating by smelling his private area and he went on about the crazy Black woman. I was the only Black woman in there and I just focused on my food and ate waiting for him to get off the stage.

He was kind of embarrassed because no one was laughing especially me. I just ignored it as comedy that was based on stereotypes and wasn’t really funny. He got off stage and just left afterward. I would assume that the comedian did not have very many Black female friends. He probably watches shows like Jerry Springer, where unfortunately, there actually was a Black woman saying the things that he said during his set. However, in reality there are many other Black women who carry themselves with a since of pride, dignity, and self-respect.

My point is we cannot judge one another of different backgrounds by stereotypes perpetrated in the media or anywhere else. Unfortunately, many of the stereotypes relating to Black men are negative and therefore Black men are looked at as being more violent than other racial groups. Because of the many negative stereotypes that are aimed at Blacks in general, Black people have had to be extra excellent at whatever we have done in order to disprove the negative stereotypes of the mainstream.

Black people are not the only ones who fall victim to stereotypes. There are stereotypes that Blacks have about Whites as well. For example, normally when there is a school shooting, mass shooting, or serial killer, some Black people are surprised if the killer is Black because the norm for mass shooters have largely not been Black in the media. In a sense, every race of people can be guilty of having negative perceptions about one another, but those perceptions should begin to die the more that we begin to see each other as humans deserving of love and respect.

Many have asked why are so many people angry and saddened by what took place when Darren Wilson was not indicted for the death of Michael Brown, as if the Michael Brown incident was an isolated incident. The truth of the matter is that the Michael Brown incident is not an isolated incident, but an incident that the Black community has seen far too much. There is a reason why people are angry. People are fed up and tired. The message to those who are angry should not be to get over it and move on, but rather to channel their anger in a way that will bring about a positive outcome to prevent things of this nature from reoccurring in the future.

There is no sin in being angry. The sin comes about when we make poor choices due to our anger. Scripture reminds us to be angry, but not to sin. When we make poor choices because of our anger, it takes away from the injustice that was done to us, making us appear to be the one in the wrong (Ephesians 4:26).

To add insult to injury, when a case becomes prominent of an unarmed Black male being killed, that male is always made to look like a criminal to justify the shooting. That is extremely hurtful to the families and all involved. We have seen it with the Trayvon Martin case, of which I am still upset that his killer was not brought to justice, the Michael Brown case, and even in the case of Tamir Rice, the 12 year old boy shot by police in Cleveland. There are stories circulating about his father having a history of domestic violence. What does that have to do with justifying a 12-year old boy being shot and killed? I am not condoning any inappropriate behavior, but if we all got shot for all of the mistakes we made as young people, we all would be dead.

Do I believe that all police officers are bad? No. Do I believe that all White police officers are racist? No. Do I believe that all police shootings are motivated by racism? No, but I do believe that some are motivated by an inappropriate perception of someone who has a different racial background than that of the officers. Other cases are motivated by the lack of accountability for police officers to be brought to justice on certain actions. It is common for police departments to protect officers, and I can understand that to a degree because police officers put their lives on the line to protect citizens and sometimes they simply make mistakes and need grace just like any other person.

However, when the same occurrence of unarmed Black males dying at the hands of officers continues to occur, then something needs to be done. I believe in order to see effective change concerning this issue, there has to be a collaborative effort by everyone effected. That includes accountability from those outside of the local state to ensure that citizens have a fair chance and that their rights are not being violated. The cameras are also a good idea because it takes away from the questions of what really happened. In many cases, it has been the livings’ testimony against the dead. Lastly, families teaching their sons and daughters how to deal with the police, and more diverse examples of Black males in media.

More diverse examples of Black males in media would include decreasing the violence in our own communities. Unfortunately, it isn’t good to only see our communities of color come together when there is an offense that has taken place involving a White person, but when African Americans kill one another it is acceptable. I was very upset when I watched a documentary of the L.A. Riots that showed a truce between two popular Black gangs because of the misconduct of White officers, but any other time they would be killing one another. That is unacceptable. We have to do better.

Thankfully, in the day and age of social media, news of injustice can spread quickly and cause a positive movement that effects change that impacts all races and nationalities. I am glad to see many people who are not Black as well as other Blacks marching for Garner, Trayvon Martin, and Michael Brown, so that their lives would not have been taken in vain, but that it would effect positive change for others.

As the media, rides the wave of social injustice, we have to be careful to not just respond in anger, but to respond in prayer also praying for those that are in authority to make the right decisions and praying for everyone as a whole.