Blog

Have You Ever Been Invited to a Meeting With The Lord?

Have You Ever Been Invited to a Meeting With The Lord?
Maybe a more familiar way to put this would be a visitation with the Lord. That’s what I believe the old school called it. This is when God pricks your heart to let you know that he wants to meet with you for whatever reason is on his heart.

Jacob is one of the first examples that comes to mind when I think about meeting with the Lord. God met with Jacob giving him a dream showing him what he was to do with him, and that he was to be with him in the process (Read Genesis 28:10-20.)

Jacob made a memorial to the Lord, and his confidence in God was strengthened. Often God uses a dream at night to speak with or visit his people when we are really busy, and unbeknownst to his voice.
Indeed God speaks once,
         Or twice, yet no one notices it. “In a dream, a vision of the night,
         When sound sleep falls on men,
         While they slumber in their beds,

Then He opens the ears of men,
         And seals their instruction,
That He may turn man aside from his conduct,
         And keep man from pride; Job 33:14
There are other times where God will speak with us while we are wide awake. There are many in the Bible who met with the Lord: Moses, David, Esther, and Abraham. Seeking the Lord and walking with the Lord seemed to be something that was passed down throughout the generations. It is also something that needs to continually be passed down throughout the body of Christ.

It is not hard, but a matter of cultivating a heart toward the Lord. The more time that we spend around the Lord intentionally seeking him, the more we will be able to recognize his voice, and patterns of doing things. Similar to the family and friends that we hang around the most, we learn to recognize their voices more and patterns for doing things.

Those that are used to walking close with the Lord may have recently noticed a shift. The shift feels like it is not as easy for the presence of the Lord and Spirit of God to take up in our prayers as we go before the Lord.

This is an indicator for us to set ourselves to seek the Lord. In seeking the Lord we will be prepared to go higher and deeper in him.
Our hunger and thirst for intimacy with God will not allow us to be satisfied with just checking off a box that says I prayed, and read my word today. We will only be satisfied when we encounter the Lord intimately.
Psalms 27:8-9 When You said, “Seek My face,”
My heart said to You, “Your face, Lord, I will seek.”
Do not hide Your face from me;
Do not turn Your servant away in anger;
You have been my help;
Do not leave me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation.
Being face to face with a person is significant of intimacy with that person. Normally, we aren’t staring into the eyes of a stranger, but someone that we know intimately. David in the above chapter took God’s hiding of his face as an invitation to set himself to seek the Lord, and as believers we should do the same. It was also David’s heart to seek the Lord as exclaimed in verse 4:
One thing I have desired of the Lord,
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord,
And to inquire in His temple. Psalms 27:4

How does one set themselves to seek the Lord?
The best way that I can describe it is a clearing of the table. Meaning the first and highest priority is the Lord. Therefore we clear our schedules. We clear our heart of clutter asking God to cleanse our heart and direct it toward him. We Pray in the Spirit. Those that pray in an unknown tongue pray unto God (1 Corinthians 14:2). Be ready to memorialize what God shows us like Jacob did. Jacob built an altar. As believers we write things down to remember it. Get your journal out and write what God gives you.

We bring our mind and focus completely into Christ allowing God to place whatever he wants on the table whether passion for a new thing, wisdom and direction concerning something on his heart that he wants us to carry out. Whatever it is, we have to clear our table to eat, drink, and fellowship with the Lord.

Fasting is a part of clearing the table to meet with the Lord. Don’t be surprised when God calls you to meet with him, and all of a sudden, you are contacted by several others inviting you into other meetings and events. We should recognize the other invitations as distractions, and deal with them accordingly so that we can get all that Christ has for us.

Recently, I had felt the tug to set myself aside to meet with the Lord. I did not know what it was about, but I had a one track mind that a particular couple of days of last week were to be set aside to meet with the Lord. I re-arranged my schedule so that my blogging stuff was done, and my morning, lunch, and evening time was spent in prayer. I prayed in the Spirit, and got quiet as God began to deal with me about some things concerning my heart. I wrote them down and pondered everything. The point is God still has a desire to meet with us his people, and if we will willingly cultivate our hearts toward the Lord as we walk with him; we will be able to recognize it and meet with the Lord.

0

The Need for Intentionality in our Relationship with God and our Spouse

The Need for Intentionality in our Relationship with God and Our Spouse
We cannot live on the intentionality of yesterday in our relationship with our spouse or with God. Just like we planted specific seed to get to where we are today; we are going to have to plant specific seed to not only move to where we are to go for tomorrow, but to maintain our footing of where we are currently avoiding backtracking.

We go from glory to glory in our relationship with God. Even though there are rough patches at times along the way we end up treading on higher ground. Well, sometimes we avoid our responsibility in the process and expect things to happen naturally. This isn’t the case.

For those of us in a relationship, in the beginning we were very intentional to answer the phone every time our boo called, made time to spend with him or her. We set aside time where we would not be distracted from listening to and communing with our loves to really understand and see where they were coming from. But after a while, we felt like we had them. We took them for granted. We made doing the things that we did before a chore or fell back altogether.

We made coming to God a chore. We come to God in prayer and are content without tapping into the Spirit or hearing what God has to say. We have no real connection, and have forgotten how to pour out our souls to the Lord, and receive an answer. We have allowed our satisfaction to come from things that God has provided instead of from fellowship with him.

When our relationship with God feels like the above, it is a sign that we need to be more intentional with God. Just like we fasted and prayed early on, we will need to continue to fast and pray. Just like we set aside un-distracted time in the past to seek God’s heart, we will have to continue to become even more intentional in doing so in moments like the above.

During that un-distracted time we can write in our journals and reflect if our heart is toward the Lord, has anything come into place to remove God from being first in our hearts. We can ask God to examine our hearts, and to remove anything and everything that is not like him.

During this quiet time, we will become refreshed, and our relationship with God will be rejuvenated, and we will find it easier to commune with God in prayer. Even if we don’t see results right away, we must be encouraged to still pursue intentionality in our seeking God, and he will reward us (Hebrews 11:6).

What about when we experience a disconnect in our personal relationships with our spouses?
Well, because our relationship with our spouse is to mirror that of the relationship of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:30-32). We should become more intentional with our spouses when experiencing a disconnect. I don’t know how many old people that I’ve heard say this phrase, “Remember the reasons why you fell in love with your spouse, and go back to those things.”
In other words, If it floated your spouse’s boat to call regularly or shoot a regular text saying how you miss them or how beautiful that she is; don’t just stop doing that altogether. Go back to those things that drew you all to one another and be intentional about making those things work.
Many marriage ministries use as a guide the book, “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. That book describes learning what relates best to one’s spouse that he or she is loved. Once, this language is found out, the partners respond to each other based on their love language. The book shares what the five love languages specifically are.
When experiencing a disconnect with the hubby or the wife, don’t run to the divorce court, but one to one another. Set apart some time where the both of you are refreshed, relaxed, and rested to discuss where the relationship is, and concerns of the heart. Discuss the goals of the relationship, and set realistic expectations on how to attain those goals.

Some starter questions to evaluate the relationship and facilitate discussion and connection are below:

  • Am I serving you well?
  • Are you satisfied with where our relationship is?
  • How can we make our relationship stronger?
  • If there is a specific issue affecting connection, be sure to address that specific issue in the time that is set apart.

Just like our relationships with our spouses are holy; our relationship with God is holy. To be holy means to be set apart. We have to set apart time to adjust to the tending of these relationships to ensure strength in these covenants. It is in no way easy to maintain a relationship with God nor with a marriage partner without intentionality.

We have to love on purpose, and when it doesn’t feel right have those discussions and take steps to make sure our relationships are strong and solid. Remember the relationship of marriage is to reflect the relationship with God and his bride (the church.) Just like we have to set ourselves aside to keep that relationship strong; we have to do the same thing in our marriages.

A good spouse to Christ makes a good spouse to another. Let’s not be lazy in just expecting our relationship with God and our spouse to work on it’s own, but let’s be intentional in being as diligent as we were on yesterday.

0

Why Do the Rebellious Get Blessed While The Faithful Suffer? – Prodigal Part 3

Shifting Our Perspectives

Below are some additional things that will assist in shifting our perspective when situations occur that tempt us to compare ourselves to our sisters and brothers who become blessed before us, and they previously lived a ratchet life.

Have a realistic evaluation of your own righteousness – Our righteousness comes from God.
Just because we may have practiced abstinence for a long time or gone without romantic love for a long time to continue in our pursuit of Christ above being in a relationship doesn’t mean that we are entitled to control when, or how God decides to bless us. It also does not place us above our neighbors. If we have a realistic evaluation of our own righteousness, we will be humble enough to know that it has been the grace of God that has produced the righteousness that we walk in—in our lives. Thus, it should produce a spirit of thankfulness within us instead of anger, and bitterness. This will enable us to receive what God has for us when he is ready to reward us for our obedience.
But godliness with contentment is great gain. 1 Timothy 6:6
Don’t allow the enemy to deceive you out of your inheritance by being lifted up in pride and raising yourself above someone else that you’ve compared yourself to. Don’t fall into the trap. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted. Keep your mind set on God’s perspective.
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5
Thus, having a reasonable evaluation of myself and my own righteousness, I do not expect God’s promise to me to be based off of my own righteousness because my righteousness alone is not enough. I expect God’s promise to me to be based off of God’s character in keeping his word.

Place yourself in the other person’s position, and thank God for them coming to the realization of who God is.
The prodigal son story starts out speaking of how the younger brother is the one who took his inheritance prematurely, which means that he was not yet mature. He was lacking in some way. Often, when a person is immature and refuses to humble themselves and listen to the correct way of doing things, that person has to go through some changes. That person often has to hit rock bottom in order to come to a realization of who God is. If you were at rock bottom, would you want someone to pick you up and offer you a chance at life? Yes, I think so. We ought to do the same for our brothers and sisters. We ought to place ourselves in their position to have compassion as the father did. God’s got us. If we truly believe that God is faithful as he is, we ought to be able to take the attention off of ourselves enough to celebrate and love our brothers and sisters.

Finally, if God has entrusted you to be mature, and to be an example among your peers and others; it is an honor for you. It means that God thinks highly of you in that he trusts you to do so. Man your station in which God has given you in life.Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called. 2 Corinthians 7:20
There are those who have been called to endure certain situations simply so that God would get the glory not because they have done something wrong.
As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. John 9:1-3
So, no. You don’t have to follow in the prodigals footsteps to be blessed. Abide in your calling, and allow God to use you to display what he can do. The blind man was blind from birth. That was all that he was known as which was a blind man for years, but God in an instant changed his situation for his glory. That is what God will do for those of us who remain faithful to God and steadfast not allowing bitterness, anger, or competition to rob us of what God has for us.

0

Avoiding Becoming the Nagging Woman in Your Relationship

Isn’t it ironic how as human beings dependent on the Lord, we have to always wait on something. I’ve talked about waiting on other occasions in my writings, and how waiting makes us stronger because it exposes what’s in us, and causes us to become more attentive of our need for humility and dependence on Christ.
Imagine the woman who has waited on God for years for a godly spouse, and he shows up. He isn’t exactly as she had pictured. In fact, she really did not know altogether what to picture. He is ready enough for her, but there are those areas that need to be smoothed out so that she can feel more secure as a woman.
In that case, what should the woman do? The natural inclination would be for her to say how she feels until she sees change. However, that can get to the point of nagging.

I like Wikipedia’s definition of nagging:

“Nagging, an interpersonal communication that, is repetitious behavior in the form of pestering, hectoring, or otherwise continuously urging an individual to complete previously discussed requests or act on advice.

”Nagging in turn can work against the woman. Even though she may be wise, It can make her appear as a fool. We know what the Bible says about foolish and quarrelsome women.

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 25:24 (NIV)

 Of course there is a time to speak, and it is very important that feelings are shared instead of being held inside especially when they are important. Sharing will require wisdom with timing and place to ensure what is shared is taken in thus not giving opportunity to a need to repeat what was shared.
Women know their husband’s patterns and such where he will be most receptive of what she has to share. That is what a wise woman does. She applies appropriate timing and place to sharing certain things that are important to her, and she learns once she has shared her most effective work will be in her prayer closet.

The idea is not to avoid the temptation of nagging meaning not ever being placed in an uncomfortable situation, but to become sharper in the area of discipline to pray instead of exercising the need to always say. One of the hardest disciplines for a woman is when she sees things out of place or not how she would like, and nothing has been done to address that. That is when the temptation to dishonor a man comes into play. As women, we really have to depend on the Lord to be able to honor our men in the face of disappointment in various areas.

We have to be sensitive enough in the Spirit to know which wars to fight with silence, grace, and love in our speech and demeanor, and yet raising our petitions sincerely to the Lord who hears them, and will answer them. Perhaps an uncomfortable situation for a woman in courtship or as a wife could be a blessing in teaching that woman not to be selfish or prideful only considering herself and her needs, but to deny herself and respond to the needs of her husband. After all, the bride of Christ’s response is for us to be a living sacrifice holy and acceptable unto the Lord which is our reasonable service (Romans 12:1).

Therefore, both the husband and wife have to deny themselves in the relationship at times. The husband denies himself giving up his life for his wife like Christ did the church, and the wife does the same thing in turn learning to deny herself and to sacrifice for the relationship as it is her reasonable response to her loving husband. In this way, both individuals learn and grow to be more like Christ in their relationship, and that is indeed God’s primary purpose for marriage. Remember if we seek God’s purpose first everything else will be taken care of (Matthew 6:33). So, the relationship will begin to develop into what God intended for us, and that is God’s best.

0

Good Men Vs. God Dependent Men: Killing the Lie of Condemnation that Binds Men in Sexual Sin

So, last week I was asked a question on a radio show interview of whether I masturbate or not. The host looked at me very intently slightly surprised by my answer. My answer was simply not anymore. I went on to share that it had been several years since I had been delivered from that.  In that short bit of my answer, I dismantled the lie that the enemy loves to hold over our heads as we try to come to Christ which is the lie that says we are not good enough to come to God because of the sin that we struggle with.

The pretense that I was booked for the show in addition to my book was that I am a 33 year old virgin. Immediately, in people’s mind the thought tends to arise that to be a Christian and a virgin means perfection, but the opposite is true. One of the major lies that I love to dismantle is the lie of condemnation that says living in victory over sexual sin is only for certain people. The devil is a liar! Living in victory over sexual sin is for everyone who wants it.

We all fall short in some way. If we aren’t having sex physically, we may be thinking about having sex with someone who we aren’t married to. The Bible makes it clear that to just think upon a person in a lustful way in our hearts is sin (Matthew 5:28). So, it is not about appearing to be good, but about depending on Jesus Christ because we know that we are not good on our own, and that depending on Christ is what makes us godly.

It is godly to realize that we cannot do good on our own. We are not strong enough on our own to do the things that please God. That is why we have to consistently look to God, and his word allowing his word to cleanse us, and his grace to enable us to come to him even past the feelings of condemnation.

I am reminded of the guy in the Bible who asked Jesus what was required to enter into the kingdom of heaven. Jesus mentioned to him about the keeping of the commandments and so forth. The brother confident in his resume shared that he has kept all of the commandments since he was a child. He called Jesus good master. Jesus used that as an opportunity to teach asking why he would call him good. He went on saying there is none good, but the father.

If you want to enter into the kingdom of heaven, you will need to sell all that you have, and give it to the poor and then come and follow me, Jesus said. That was a hard saying for the man to swallow and he turned and walked away. The man was dependent on his good record to get him into the kingdom. I think he may have wanted Jesus to say: Awe, you good bro! We got your clean sleigh in heaven.

But the truth is God doesn’t want us to trust in our works alone, but to trust in him alone. When we trust in him alone, good works will automatically come because that is when God begins to change our nature (natural way of doing things) to that of his. This is why we bring forth good fruit from dwelling in Christ (John 15).  Our good works our produced out of fellowship with God whether than prideful piety that can save and deliver no man.

This is also why God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness. When we realize our inabilities, we open ourselves up to see God’s ability. So, for those who choose to look at me as if I am some sort of good or perfect woman who is seeking a good or perfect man. That is untrue. I am a woman who has learned to rely on Christ, and the man that I choose to marry will be a man who is imperfect, but has chosen to rely on Christ as well. Our deeds alone are not enough, but God is.

Please, don’t choose to believe the lie of condemnation that says that we are not good enough to come to Christ because of our weaknesses or struggles. Don’t choose to believe the lie that says we should separate ourselves from God, his people or his house until we overcome in areas of weakness in the flesh. Our weaknesses should be more of a reason to come to Christ, and when we do we will then learn to become godly men and women.

Sidenote: The old school tried to shame people into doing what was right, but God’s word says that it is his goodness that draws and leads us to repentance.

Check out my book: The Single Christian Woman’s Guide for more on overcoming sexual sin. I have a whole chapter on that called, “All About the Hormones.

“Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance? Romans 2:4 (NIV)

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

For more on God’s Grace Read the article, “The Misinterpretation of God’s Grace“

0

Cheers to the Guys who Make Us Smile

In a time where the disappointment for many women is so real, and we often wonder are there any good godly brothers. Just when we want to close up our hearts, and give up on all hope; then a brother comes along and makes us smile reminding us of why we had the dream for real love in the first place. When many women forget their worth for relying on unreliable men instead of looking to God for our worth, It certainly doesn’t hurt to run into some encouragement from some valuable men who aren’t afraid to be men.

With no hidden motive just love and grace. What is this? I didn’t know it exists. It makes a sister want to be all poetic and what not when I see men of God taking their place.

These men don’t take it as asking too much to do the things that men are expected to do. Instead they rise to the challenge because inside they know that God made them a man. When a man is a gentlemen protecting a woman, communicating with her, and reminding her of her worth, it allows a woman to feel safe.

In the company of a God fearing and respectable man, a woman has the freedom to be herself soft, gentle, covered, celebrated, and cherished. It just makes a woman smile. Even if she isn’t interested in a brother; she will still hold this type of a man in high respect. Maybe, even change her tune to consider him for her future.

This type of man realizes that he isn’t perfect, yet still puts his best foot forward to attempt to please God and the women in his life. Whether the women in his life are sisters at church, work, friends, or his love interest. The woman who walks beside this man always feels safe and secure.

She knows that he is there to communicate words of wisdom, with no ill or selfish intention. He listens to her and considers her opinion valuable. He prays for her and does not call her out of her name. He sets aside his physical needs for sex as a single man to respect the value of getting to know his love interest in other ways beside the physical. He sets specific boundaries for friendship or relationship so that purity would be priority and God would be pleased.

He knows how to pray. He smiles, and does simple things like carry things for her, pumps her gas, even though he does not have to. He does it because he wants to. He is a real man who is not afraid to defy the popular culture of a man. He doesn’t toy with a woman’s emotions, but holds her heart in high esteem as he does all that is in his power to respect her heart and guard it.

This type of a man is not intimidated by a woman being her best because he knows that when she is her best she makes him look good.

Women were made to be soft, and yet strong, but often women have been forced to be strong in areas that we were not made to be strong such as being the sole provider of the home, spiritual leader, and her very own security and protection. This has caused many women to become hard and build up resentment toward men, but the right type of a man loves that resentment all away, and forces a woman to come to grips that there are actually really good men out here in this world.

A man has the power to soften a woman allowing her natural womanly abilities to flow and he also has the power to harden a woman leading her to produce a shell that protects her from men like him.

Toasts up to the men using their power wisely.

0

What is an Intercessor?

An intercessor is a watchman who stands in between God and man praying on behalf of what he sees, and what God lays on his heart. Jesus Christ was the number one intercessor. He stood between God and man making intercession on man’s behalf.
The foundation of intercession is found in the book of Ezekiel where God looks for an intercessor before certain circumstances would have been allowed.

I looked for someone among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found no one.
Ezekiel 22:30

In short, intercessor’s are God’s partner’s on earth that stand in agreement with the will of God that has been set in heaven. God’s intercessor’s pray that will based on God’s word, and insight from the Lord. God gave men dominion in this earth, and so when God gets ready to do something on the earth, he uses his people. In many cases, those people are used as intercessor’s.
I first learned about intercession listening to a radio broadcast from Apostle John Echardt. It was shortly after Tupac and Biggie were murdered. Echardt taught on how their murders could have been prevented had there been an intercessor standing in the gap on their behalf. I thought that was pretty cool. At that point, I decided I wanted to be an intercessor, and I asked God to make me one. God honored that prayer.
Intercessors may at times get a burden to pray regarding certain things:
Intercessor’s are very observant, and sensitive to certain things. God will often give an intercessor a burden on something close to his heart and allow the intercessor to pray regarding that thing to see God’s will done in a situation instead of what the normal circumstances would have ensued.
In some cases, intercessor’s have to have enough discernment to know when a burden is too heavy for them to carry alone. Some burdens are given to us by God to pray only, and others to take additional action along with prayer. The last burden that God gave me to carry had gotten so heavy on me that I lost sleep, and could hardly pray anymore. That is when I knew, I had to seek counsel from others to take proper action while praying concurrently about the situation that was going on.
Prophetic Intercession:
Prophetic Intercession comes about when something is revealed to a person by God to pray concerning because it will happen in the future. Sometimes, prophetic intercession can be us prophesying and decreeing in prayer by faith what God has shown us until it manifests, or it can be praying against something that will happen prior to for a different outcome to occur.
For example, one day I was eating while waiting for one of my friends to come over to my house to pick me up to go somewhere. I got an unction to pray, but did not know what to pray about. I put the food down and begin to pray in the spirit. When I felt a release as if the mission was accomplished in prayer, the Lord showed me what I had been praying about. He let me know that something would happen to the car when we were out, but everything would be okay. My friend picked me up and we had a blow-out on the expressway. We were able to ride to the nearest exit and could not change the tire because the lug-nut would not come off. It had to have a special machine to take off the lug-nut.
We ended up at a gas station where a man getting gas had a special machine on the outside of his truck that was able to remove the lug-nut. The man had been through a lot of hard things in life, and had given up on God and the church. We witnessed to him, and he helped us with our tire. All was well, and God’s will was done.

Another example of prophetic intercession is in a similar experience, I was led of God to pray. I prayed in the spirit again, and this time I ended up calling my co-worker’s name out before the Lord and binding up the spirit of death, and pre-mature death, and pleading the blood of Jesus all over him. At the end of this prayer as I got a release in my spirit, God showed me the young man standing outside of his car that had been totaled with his title in his hand. I got to work a couple weeks later, and my co-worker had been late. He apologized to the boss sharing how he had been involved in an accident sharing he has nothing left of the car, but his title in hand.
I shared this with my prayer-partner who is a prophet, and she shared how God used me to spare the young man’s life, and he was supposed to die that night.

Assignments of Intercessors:
As an intercessor, I have gotten various assignments from God to pray for a person, or leaders, and even some public figures as well. I believe in all families, God has set aside an intercessor(s) for himself to further his purpose, will, and plan for the family members and also to preserve life. I have been an intercessor for a long time in my family.

Often intercessors are praying for other people, and their prayers are prayed in secret as they see the manifestation of God’s answer in public. Intercessors are normally not self-seeking, but seeking God’s will.

But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. Matthew 6:6

Intercessors are natural teachers:
Due to the fact that intercessor’s hang out in God’s presence a lot in prayer, they get a lot of wisdom, knowledge, and insight that otherwise they would not have. This retaining of wisdom and revelation from God causes us to be natural teachers.
Attacks on Intercessor’s:
Intercessor’s take a lot of hits as far as spiritual attacks from the enemy. They can be misunderstood because of the revelation that they receive, but are refreshed greatly in the presence of the Lord. God is no respecter of persons and is in need of intercessors. Accept the challenge from God to pray and go to God on behalf of others.

And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint – Luke 18:1
Pray without ceasing. 1 Thessalonians 5:17
I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people. – 1 Timothy 2:1

0

Ladies: Four Ways to tell if a Man Loves You

He Invests in himself
The Bible makes it clear that we cannot love others unless we first love ourselves. This is a principal that is true despite religious affiliation. It will work for whoever works it. A good sign that a guy is a good catch is that he loves himself, and that is clearly seen through him investing in himself. This man will invest in himself by submitting to authority, being humble enough to know that he doesn’t have it all together, and ultimately submitting to God.

Trust me, if he isn’t willing to invest in himself, he will not be willing to invest in you nor your relationship together. He may instead be selfish enough to invest only enough in the relationship to get what he wants and continue in his own world. I’ve experienced in the past the man who would not invest in himself. He hinted to leaning heavily on me for basic things that he should have had together already before even pursuing a woman such as submission to God, spiritual leadership, and having his own identity.

A man without the proper identity of himself will compare himself to his lady and even become jealous of her. These are all unhealthy when seeking to build a healthy relationship. When we find a man who is willing to invest in himself, we should know that we may be heading in the right direction. It just may be the direction of love.

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church. Ephesians 5:29

He protects
I’ve been in awe of this man who has recently been pursuing me. From our first conversation in making plans to get to know each other, he showed me his natural instinct as a man to protect a woman. How sexy?

We had discussed going out on a particular day, but to our surprise it began to snow pretty bad here in Chicago. My new friend shared how he would feel so bad if something happened to me while trying to meet up with him in the snow. Because of the snow, we both decided to re-schedule our outing for the next day.

He is selfless and respectful
The second instance of my friend attempting to protect me was when he asked me what I’d feel comfortable with physically as we got to know one another. He shared how in a previous relationship a kiss to his then interest took her to a place that she did not feel comfortable going.

I thought it was very thoughtful for him to bring that up and make sure that I felt comfortable with any physical action before just giving it a try. Not only is that a sign of protection, but a sign of respect and selflessness. Men love to be physical. That is one of the ways that they love to express their love, but because I am not comfortable with any physical action at the moment besides what I’d do with a friend such as a hug or something, my friend has agreed to not move further in the physical arena unless we both agree. We know that sex of course is not an option until marriage.

Right now, we are both just focusing on getting to know each other in general without the distraction of kissing, rubbing, or any such thing at the moment. If indeed the gentlemen is the one for me, there will be plenty of time for that later. We will continue to proceed with caution, the fear, and wisdom of the Lord in this area.

He Loves Me. He Loves Me Not.

He is patient
As a single woman of God who has been waiting on a mature man of God for a long time, it’s easy to develop a form of being guarded from men that are obviously inappropriate for us.

That was the case with me. Not only do I proceed cautiously regarding guys who do not appear appropriate, but also with guys who may appear appropriate for me as well. We all have been fooled a time or two by a love interest’s presentation. Thus, I am not very quick to commit right after meeting someone to an all in relationship.

There was a phone call that my friend and I had where I thanked him for being a good friend. His response was, “I am not trying to just be your friend.” I had discussed with him previously that I wanted to take things slow and did not want to just jump into things right away. I wanted to see his character, and for him to see mine, and for us to decide if we really agreed to move further after having more of a foundation on each other.


Men can tend to become very excited when they see what they want, especially if they get a response too! Oh, it is on! Look at Adam, who knew his wife at first glance speaking to who she is.

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” Genesis 2:23

Sometimes, guys just simply know what they want. Whereas, me on the other hand, I know what I want, but am not immediately sure if a particular guy is what I want off hand. My friend despite my reservation, chose to stick around because he says he is patient, and that he is.

Love scripture: Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails; – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Even with all of the good traits displayed, we should continue to look for consistency over the course of time. Time will ultimately tell you if someone is right for you. Holding fast to your standards, boundaries, and values will protect you during the time of getting to know your potential spouse. This was the case for me in this dating scenario. While the gentleman was a really good guy: he ultimately ended up not being the guy for me and that’s okay. Every dating relationship will not turn out to marriage. Everyone isn’t for us. It’s better to know this prior to marriage as it will be less hurtful than moving forward to marriage and having to divorce later.

0

Heart Check

I love to do something called a heart check periodically. A heart check is a check of how tuned in my heart’s affections are toward the things of God. Most importantly, how in tuned my heart’s affections are toward the greatest commandment:

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'” – Luke 10:27 (NIV)

Why a heart check? Because our hearts are naturally prone to sin. Yep, that’s right. It doesn’t matter how holy we think we are. We’ve all felt that sensationalism toward sin, whether, gossip, watching something inappropriate, or just thinking a wrong thought. It happens naturally.
What does not happen naturally is our intention toward loving God, and loving God’s way. That is something that we have to train ourselves in. Something that we have to make a conscience decision everyday to practice discipline regarding.
We have to practice discipline in not only seeking God, but having a desire to seek him and to hear what he has to say on any and all matters that concern us. We can drown out the voice of God by being too much in tune with things, messages, and distractions that do not concern God nor his way.

Psalms 97:10 – Let those who love the Lord hate evil. He preserves the lives of his saints; he delivers them from the hand of the wicked.

Periodically, the question what has your affections comes up in my spirit and that is when I do my heart check praying things like:  Lord, allow my heart to be after the things that concern your heart. Lord, help me to guard my heart according to your will.
King David realized the need for a clean heart praying to God to create in him a clean heart and to renew the right spirit within him. The truth is when we get all out of the way of where God is calling us to be, it doesn’t start just with our action, it actually starts in the heart way before we commit any act. When we allow our affection to take another turn outside of where God called us that is when we began to falter.
Our hearts could easily become concentrated on the wrong thing by opening doors of watching the wrong things on television that feed our hunger for sensationalism, lust, and passion.
Let’s remember the parable of the man with the great investment who saved it and stored it up on earth saying to himself look at what I have accomplished. His affections were all on the wrong thing–his wealth. He did not know that what really mattered was a rich life toward God. He had placed too much attention on what really did not matter allowing what did to slip away. (Luke 12:16-21)
Let’s make sure that our heartbeat is beating toward the things that God designed it for, and that is himself, and his direction for our lives. Heart check time.

 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. – Colossians 3:2-3

0

Remember your Priority as the Lord Elevates You

Beware of unnecessary distractions as the Lord promotes. I have to remind myself as I have just recently released a book not to take my focus off of God’s assignment for me. Over-busy schedules, and unfounded judgments from others are two of the major things that Satan uses to distract us from what we are to focus on as God promotes us.

I learned from an older woman early on not to just take on every engagement offered to me, but to let a person know that I will get back to them and let them know after I have prayed and thought about it. Why? Because every engagement may not be conducive for what God is doing in that moment of my life. This does not mean that God will give me a yay and nay for every engagement. It just means that I will consider some things first.

For example, Is my schedule already flowing at a healthy pace where I have ample time to seek the Lord, remain faithful to my assignments, and still get enough rest to maintain who I am. If that is a no, then I know not to take on anymore engagements until the priority of my personal health and wholeness in Christ and my own personal life is secure.

God is not calling us to over do it, but to remain balanced in him as we go up higher. It is easy for people being promoted into their destinies to become overwhelmed seeking the favor of people instead of counting up the cost, and seeking to remain in tune with God’s specific assignment over their lives.

The more that we are promoted, the more responsibility that we have to give an account for, and it would be wise to count the cost in order to complete the assignment that God has given us. Sometimes, that will mean saying no to the agendas of others around us, and that is okay.

28 “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? 29 For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, 30 saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’

Another way that Satan distracts our focus from Christ is to place our focus on people in a manner where we feel as though we have to defend ourselves. The reality is that some people will always have something negative to say. Everything great will have opposition, we have to simply realize that and keep our focus set.

We have to be mature enough in those situations to continue to walk in love and be led by the Spirit. The below scriptures are helpful in situations where we may be tempted to defend ourselves:

A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. 2 Timothy 2:24 (NLT)”

Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? 14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, 15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, 16 having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. 17 For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil. 1 Peter 3:8-17 (ESV)”

0