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3 Lessons to Take Away From Fences Pt.2: Our Father’s Imperfections…

OUR FATHER’S IMPERFECTIONS DO NOT GIVE US LEISURE TO DISHONOR HIM:

So, Troy made some poor choices. He had an affair, and a child outside of his marriage. He held his son back from a possibly great opportunity. He was a bit stubborn not realizing that the world around him was changing, and he needed not be so closed minded.

Who doesn’t know a Black father like that to some degree. Those actions still do not qualify us as children to dishonor our fathers. The Bible is clear that we are to honor both our fathers and mothers so our days will be long on the earth (Exodus 20:12). Scripture does not tell us to honor our parents if they are perfect. It doesn’t say if your parents do no wrong honor them. It simply says to honor them.
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Honoring our parents is important as children because we are going to be the ones to see the majority of their mistakes due to the close proximity of living space. God knew this. He knew that seeing our parents especially our father’s faults would tempt us to look at him in a lesser or demeaning way, and God says not so.

It is God’s will that we are so whole in Christ that we began to learn through our relationships with our imperfect parents how to forgive and love Biblically like Christ. Christ sees our imperfections and still makes the choice to love us. Our homes our actually our first, and best training grounds to being true and successful believers. If we can get through our homes, we can get through anything. Seeing our parents imperfections and still deciding to love and forgive them not only ministers to our parents, but it in turn ministers to us.

On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:20-21


I am speaking from experience in dealing with my father who is a good man just imperfect like everyone else. When my brothers and I, choose to continue to honor him in the face of dishonor or faults and frailties exposed, we are actually making a positive impact on him while freeing ourselves from the bondage of un-forgiveness, anger, bitterness, and rage.

This has proved to bring conviction in my father’s heart encouraging him to change and reconsider some of his stubborn ways just like the scripture says above. We will bring coals over his head. I believe the metaphor, “to heap burning coals on his head”, means to temper a situation that could be out of control. Similar to how a fire can get out of control, but coals are something that are used to temper fire, electricity, and things that can cause an explosion outside of one’s control turning out bad.

On the contrary, when we choose to honor our parents, we take an otherwise combustible situation and turn it around so that God can use it for his good. You never know if God will use your obedience in honoring your father to minister to your father. We have to remember that they have issues from their childhood also. Much like Troy, who in the film was on his own since the young age of 14 years old.

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3 Lessons to Take Away From Fences Pt. 1: We Have a Choice…

We Have a Choice in How We Turn Out Despite How Our Fathers Are:

I love the film Fences because it just makes us appreciate our fathers even more despite imperfections they may have. Father’s are held to a higher standard of accountability, and face more crucial scrutiny than others because of the responsibility that comes with the role.
 
The role of a  Father’s impact is undeniable in the home as clearly seen in Troy’s character. His decisions affected the temperament of the whole household and in a way served as a roadmap as to where his children would end up.
 
Troy, in the film, was like many father’s who sought to control the outcome of his son’s life. He attempted to protect Cory from the racial discrimination he felt he had experienced in his days of playing ball by preventing his son from an opportunity to be observed by a sports recruiter, and encouraging his son only to work. This along with the infidelity embittered his son Cory. The first lesson that we should take away from this is that despite the negative things that our father’s may have done in our eyes; we still have a choice as children as to how we will allow it to affect our futures.

We do not have to settle under the lie that bad choices have to be continued, and thus undermine the future of a child due to poor choices of a father. One great thing about Troy is that he was there, and he offered what he felt was his best. There are worst situations between fathers and their sons and daughters. Some situations are the lack of a father’s presence, verbal and physical abuse, and inability to affirm his love toward his children.

Despite what negative or positive influences we receive or do not receive from our fathers we have a choice as to where we will end up. I say this all the time and will not stop. Our parents give us what they can, and what they cannot, God stands in and takes responsibility for. God makes sure that we all have a chance at a positive future
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. – Psalms 27:10

I am a personal witness to the above scripture. Areas where my parents did not have the wherewithal to develop or protect me in, God has placed others in my life intentionally to show me that there is another way, and no I don’t have to be stuck with what I am familiar with. I have a choice. Not only did God send examples to represent him, but he also showed himself as a father in my life personally. This does not undermine our natural father or his role, but it serves in the child getting a more balanced and fair chance due to exposure to something more than what the natural father could bring.

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An Invitation to Wholeness Through Submission to Christ:

Is God requiring you to submit a particular area of your life over to him? Last week, I was reminded of the familiar story of when Jacob wrestled with God. I had always been curious about this story and how it could apply to my life. Well, last week is when the Lord would give me revelation on this story that directly applies to my personal life.

Just before Jacob settles into a place where he wrestles with God; he is confronted with his past. This past of his brings about anxieties within him that cause him to fear for his very life. In his past, he had tricked his brother, Essau, out of his birthright. The last encounter that he had with his brother was that of an angry Essau, who desired to kill his brother.

Years had gone by since Jacob and Essau had talked. Seeing how he did not leave his brother on peaceful terms, his lack of knowing what to expect from this meeting with his brother only produced much fear and anxiety. He devised ways to keep the situation under control by sending his servants to the front of his entourage to offer gifts, and splitting his entourage into two companies saying if one is attacked perhaps the other can get away. After, Jacob did everything within his power to pacify his brother in preparation to meet him, he prayed to the Lord.

Full of anxiety, he began to remind the Lord of his promise mentioning what God had promised to his father Abraham that he would make his seed as the sands of the earth. Later, that night, he began to wrestle with the Lord. The Bible says that when God knew he was not going to prevail against him; he grabbed his hip and caused it to be out of place. From then on, Jacob walked with a limp.

This has always intrigued me. Why would God not be able to overcome a mere man in a wrestling match? I believe that the wrestling was symbolic of not a physical wrestling match, but a wrestling match of wills and a wrestling match of trust in God. Jacob was so upset about the fear of meeting with his brother that I believe it was hard for him to completely entrust the ordeal completely over to God, How many of us have wrestled with something that we tried to figure out, control, and cope with on our own only to find that our answer is just as simple as submitting that area over to God, and letting him have it.

I believe God wrestling with Jacob was symbolic of God asking him to submit this fear and anxiety to him–To submit his trust in the Lord in this particular area. When God saw that Jacob was bent more on the fear than trusting in him; God had to allow him to be broken to make him dependent on him. I believe that God will allow brokenness in our lives to re-center us back to submitting our trust to him in the area where we are most broken. I believe God wrestling with him was sharing with him that he wanted that broken place not for Jacob to remain broken, but through Christ that God could use brokenness to make him whole.

Wholeness in some areas of our lives will only be realized when we learn to depend on God in those areas. We see that Jacob was preparing to run from the confrontation with his brother. He had separated his entourage into two companies saying to himself, “If Essau attacks one company, the other will have a chance to run and get away.” He was still strategizing on his own to fix the situation that had already been fixed. God had already changed Essau’s heart causing him to desire to reconcile with his brother in forgiveness.

What areas of our lives are we still striving to overcome in? Areas that Jesus has already invited us to walk in freedom in if we only submit those areas over to him. Submitting the areas that we struggle with over to God result in trust in God. When we aren’t so willing to do this, and when we continue to wrestle with God on these issues, he will sometimes cause brokenness or allow brokenness in order to cause us to depend on him.

The sacrifices of God are a broken and contrite spirit and those who give God this offering will see that it isn’t despised (Psalms 51:17). In the place of being broken, we find that God is near to us (Psalms 34:18). This is why brokenness is so important. There are times when all of us as believers must be broken to be whole.

The end result of Jacob’s encounter with God was that his name was changed to Israel. Israel was the name of the nation that was promised to Abraham. God’s response was not only to confirm his promise, but to better upgrade Jacob’s identity into one who had become ready for the promise. He reconciled with his brother. They both fell on one another’s neck and kissed one another. What was once a question of fear, anxiety, and possible death in the end began a story of triumph, restoration, and trust in God. This is what God desires to do in us when we give him our broken places.

Let’s invite God into the personal broken places in our lives. The ugly ones, as well as those that aren’t so ugly and see what he does with it.

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A Time to Fight & A Time to Stand:

There is a time to Fight and there is a time to Stand Resting in God’s Promises

Don’t forget, after having done all to stand, just stand (Ephesians 6:13-14). Many of us have been in a battle for some time that has intensified to the point of almost being unbearable within the last two years. Of which, we have used all of the Word of God inside of us to fight and to stand. However, when we are so used to fighting such an intense battle, it can be easy for us not to discern when it is time for us to rest from such intense fighting, and to simply stand in that which we believe. Sidenote: We enter into God’s rest through believing (Hebrews 4:3).

I was reminded of this when reading a story about King David in the Bible. David was older and he had fought much of his life to remain in position to obtain the promises of God including taking the throne of Israel. He had gone out to war with his men, and the Bible says that he was exhausted. His exhaustion had placed him in a vulnerable position where he was about to be killed. A young man named Abishai saved his life. After this encounter, David’s men scolded him saying how they forbade him to go out to war with them again so that the light of Israel would not be put out. Light of Israel statement showed David’s value to the men. He was highly respected, regarded, and valued just like we are, but may fail to realize due to the distraction of the fight.

Resting helps us to take into account what we have really done, and accomplished. It helps us to see that life although, it is made up of challenges, is not all about overcoming challenges, and fighting. It is also about enjoying the fruit of the labor that has already been given. This can only be truly taken into account through seasons of rest.

There is a time where it is necessary to fight, and there is also a time where it is necessary to just stand. What are we standing on? We are simply standing on the promises of God. We are standing on the fact that we are loved by God with an everlasting love. We are standing on the fact that God’s love is unfailing. We are standing on the fact that we are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. We are standing on the fact that God’s word will not come back void, so everything that he has spoken out of his mouth will come to pass.

It is not God’s will for us to spend our whole lives exhausted fighting a war that has already been won. When we simply stand; We allow ourselves to take a rest. While taking a rest, God will send reinforcements like he did with David. One of the younger men actually saved his life, and gave him wisdom to remain preserved.

T.D. Jakes said something very wise. He said that a person who is tired cannot handle harvest because harvest is work. It is actually wisdom to rest between the season of fighting and the season of reaping the harvest. Let’s be bold in Christ as we rest in him standing on his promises.

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Growing Our Intimacy With God through Fasting & Prayer – Pt. IV (Need to Seek the Lord)

In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God. Psalms 10:4
Not Seeking the Lord is a sign of pride and that we have forgotten him
We all can be prone to forgetting the Lord because of the human nature to forget God while things are going well. God talks about how he chose Israel as a child when she was abandoned in her blood. He took care of her, and when she got old enough, he married her making her a queen and dressing her in the finest garments. She began to take it for granted and to lose all of the fear, thankfulness, and reverence that she had for the Lord in the beginning (Ezekiel 16:6-32.)

This is also figurative of the church. We can easily lose our zeal, fear, adoration, and will toward the Lord when we fail to guard our closeness with God through fasting and prayer. Fasting and prayer helps to prepare our hearts in position toward the Lord our God.

In closing, if we want our hearts to be after God, we have to be intentional about placing our value on God. The below scripture tell us what not to place so much value on because God has already taken care of it.
And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it.For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them.  But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. Luke 12:29-31
Finally, verse 34 in the same passage says, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” In other words, what you treasure or place value on is where your heart will be. Where your heart is will eventually show up in your actions.

This is why the Word of God says, “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him (Matthew 12:35.) What is in our hearts is so important, and coming to God allows for our heart’s desires to be changed to that which pleases God.

Let’s be like Esther and place value on drawing closer to our king through humility, reverence, fasting, and prayer.

Check out the videos below that recaps this whole mini-series as well as provides additional information on ways to go about seeking the Lord.

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Growing Our Intimacy With God Through Fasting and Prayer – Part III (In Faith)

Seeking the Lord with boldness requires faith and a knowing of how God feels about us:
We have been discussing Queen Esther and her relationship with King Ahaseraus when Esther approached him concerning her people. She took a risk in pursuing or approaching the king, but found favor because she was in covenant with the King as his favored and adored wife. He wanted to be with her as much or more than she wanted to be with him, and he was delighted that she had approached him.

When she entered his courts, the golden scepter was extended welcoming her in. He asked her what he could do for her stating that what she wanted he would do up to half of the kingdom. He was clear on how he felt about her, and his love for her specifically to her and all on lookers.

Similarly, God feels the same about us. God is in covenant with us. We are God’s bride through Christ. Biblically speaking, we the church, are considered the bride of Christ. God longs to be with us and for us to seek him. Finally, God also offers to share his kingdom with us just as King Ahasuerus did with Esther.And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6

Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Luke 12:32​Thus, coming to God through fasting and prayer requires us to somewhat know our worth to God, and to like Esther step out on faith. Even though Ahasuerus was the king and had the power to show favor or wrath to Esther, he wanted to reassure her and remind her that she was his choice. Thus, he asked queen Esther a second time during the second banquet what her request was and he would do it up to half of his kingdom.

Just like King Ahasuerus desired his wife to boldly approach him in saying what concerned her; God wants us to do the same.

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16​

Just like King Ahasuerus chose Esther as his wife, and desired to reassure her, God also has chosen us.You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you 

so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. John 15:16

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Growing Our Intimacy With God Through Fasting & Prayer – Part II (Some Fruit of Fasting)

Last week, we began looking at kings in general for similiarities to God’s character and how to approach God. We have been studying in particularly the story of Esther and King Ahasarus, and we left off discussion how kings are expected to rule in righteousness. Below are a few scriptures to support. Next, we discuss some fruits of fasting and prayer, which is a way to reverence our approach to God eliminating distractions from our life.

Ruling in Righteousness

Below are some scriptures regarding the expectation for kings to rule in righteousness

  • Worship the Lord with reverence and rejoice with trembling. – Psalms 2:11
  • Loyalty and truth preserve the king , and he upholds his throne by righteousness. – Proverbs 20:28
  • It is abomination for kings to commit wicked acts; for a throne is established in righteousness. – Proverbs 16:12

Because of the expectation of righteousness that we have toward God and that we should be able to have toward kings or authority; we should be able to fear with a trust  that  both God and the kingdom or authority that we are under is for us. Thus, in the story of King Ahasuerus and Esther, we see Esther preparing herself to go before the king. Like Esther prepared herself to go before the king through the humility of fasting and prayer; we ought also to prepare ourselves to go before God.

Fasting is a way to humble ourselves

Esther chose to consecrate herself to the Lord through fasting and prayer before approaching the king. She also asked her people to do the same. Esther knew that she could not approach the king just any kind of a way. It had to be done in reverence. Therefore, she humbled herself. Fasting is a willing way for us to humble ourselves. We willingly make ourselves weak through fasting, and find our strength through intentionally leaning on, and seeking the presence of our King, Our God.

When I fast and pray, I look forward to God’s presence because it literally gives me strength. God’s presence is needed. God himself is needed. Fasting gives proper perspective to our need for God.

Fasting produces clarity

There is a chapter of scripture in Isaiah 58 that deals with fasting. It talks about the purpose in the type of a fast that God calls to humble ourselves, and such. One of the things that the scripture mentions that will happen is that clarity will come.

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
    and your healing will quickly appear; Isaiah 58:8

Light breaking forth is significant of clarity. At first Esther did not know what she was going to do when approached by her Uncle Mordecai to intercede for the Jewish people who’s lives were being threatened. In the beginning, she seemed a bit resolved about whether she could or even should do something about the situation until Mordecai told her if she did not do something, God would raise up deliverance from elsewhere. It was after she fasted she gained clarity on what to do. Now, she had a full plan in place. Her plan was to approach the king, and invite him to a banquet. She was careful in how she bought the very serious matter of her people to the king. She did not just spring it on him.

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Why Do the Rebellious Get Blessed While The Faithful Suffer? – Prodigal Part 2

Last week, I covered from a Biblical perspective the human nature in how we question ourselves, and question God for blessing someone who was rebellious right away after they turn from their rebellion, and allowing the other son to continue to suffer.

You will need to go back and read part one of this to understand what I believe is God’s heart on this matter. I want to cover bitterness, and competition in this portion. One of my mentors shared with me her testimony through which she was placed in a lot of bad situations through bad choices and simply not knowing any better.

When she got older and saved, she also shared how God began to deal with her about her husband. Long story short; she ended up engaged and married. Some of the sisters that she was waiting with got very angry with her because of bitterness and competition. She told me about one woman in particular who called her accusing God saying, “I don’t see how I’ve been waiting so long and I don’t have a husband, and God blesses you not long after you decide to live for him. I hate you.”

Clearly, the above woman fell into the trap of competition. Competition is the natural fleshly reaction when a situation arises similar to that of the prodigal son. When the thought of competition goes unchecked by God’s word; the competition takes us off of track of what we are supposed to be doing and what we are supposed to focus on. Competition leads to frustration, anger, and bitterness because God never made us to be like anyone else. He made us to be ourselves.
“For we are not bold to number or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves. But they themselves, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves with themselves, are without understanding.” 2 Corinthians 10:12
Again, the above scripture points to the person who compares themselves with others is lacking of a particular understanding. The lack of this understanding is what keeps that person in bondage.

What are some things that need to be understood to avoid giving in to competition:

  • It is not wise.
  • It leads to bondage.
  • It takes away from our unique identity, which diminishes who we are as a person. This is not God’s will.
  • We want to fulfill God’s will for our own lives; and not mimic the life of another due to feeling rejected like the faithful son.
  • It Prevents us from being thankful for what we already have.

We need to get an understanding, and that understanding should be God’s understanding on the matter.
“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” Proverbs 4:7
The bitterness that is produced will keep us from being in a position to receive what God does have for us. Remember that I said in part one that God told the faithful son that whatever he had also belonged to the faithful son. We will not be able to see that what we are believing God for is already ours when we allow bitterness, anger, and frustration to be our guide.

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Why Do the Rebellious Get Blessed While The Faithful Suffer? – Prodigal Part 1

Have you ever been in a scenario where you have noticed once, twice, three times or more that an individual who was wildin doing whatever she wanted got blessed the moment she decided to get serious with God. While on the other hand, those that have been faithful continue to suffer.

I know I am not the only one who has asked this question before. I believe that many have asked this question, and allowed things to come into their hearts that should not have. Things like bitterness, competition, stagnation, and simply giving up, but this is not God’s will for his people.  I am going to correlate this question to singles as I attempt to answer it from the word of God primarily using the story of the prodigal son.

I had not thought on this question however in some time. I do remember asking God about this in a previous season of my life, but I feel that I had too much going on in my life and heart to hear God clearly on the matter at that time. Recently, I was in the restroom getting ready for work, and the thought below came to my mind regarding the topic:
“It’s already Yours. You just have to change your thinking.”
Immediately, I was reminded of the prodigal son, and my mind went to the father and his son sitting down outside of the party for the prodigal brother, who had just come home. I picture the faithful brother of the prodigal determined not to go into the party to celebrate his brother as he sits outside alone and angry. Upset at the ideal that his father, who is God in the story, is being unjust and unfair to throw a party and celebrate his rebellious brother blessing him. While the faithful brother continues to go through and suffer or so that is what the faithful brother thought.

Competition was the faithful brother’s first reaction when he said:
 “‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’.” Luke 15:29-30 (NIV)
His father’s response. “All that I have is already yours.” The faithful son just needed to be reminded that what he thought he was missing out on by being faithful to his father was already his. He simply needed his father to change his thinking. He had access to all of the fattened cows and everything that belonged to his father. However, him taking his eyes off of his father and the business of his father’s house and placing them on his brother caused him to loathe what he had as if he was missing out on something. That attitude of loathing what we have in Christ for feeling as though we are missing out on something can easily cause us to miss out. Why? Because it is all a mindset, and our mindset affects our faith which in turn affects what we can receive as believers.

When the faithful son was at rest maintaining his position in his father’s house without the distraction of his brother’s rebellion; he was fine, but when he took his eyes off of his assignment in his father’s house, he became discouraged. He allowed rejection to enter in, and saw himself as diminished in his father’s eyes, and beneath his celebrated brother when that was not the case.

How many of us singles have felt this way? We have obeyed God all we know how to the point of much suffering to have to seemingly continue to suffer while our brother who was so rebellious immediately gets blessed shortly after his change of heart.

How many of us have felt rejected by God in this as if our obedience has been in vain? Or how many of us have felt as though God was holding out on us while blessing the disobedient.

Two things the father said in the scenario to console the faithful son and change his thinking:

The father said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. Luke 15:31 (AMP)

In other words, what the son was complaining about regarding receiving a cow or goat to celebrate was already his, and everything else that belonged to his father. He just needed to shift his perspective.

The other thing that the father said was that it was necessary to celebrate the other son (Luke 15:32). (Jubilee Bible 2000)

And it was necessary. Why? Because the prodigal son’s experience produced an identity crisis which could only lead him to more poor choices if he was not quickly reminded of just who he was. Too many poor choices would have ultimately destroyed him, and this is not God’s will. Hence, God’s urgency in presenting a different perspective to correct his son’s flawed image of himself.
“Quick, bring out the best robe and put it on him; and give him a ring for his hand, and sandals for his feet (Luke 15:22).” (NIV)The above situation did not only produce an identity crisis in the prodigal son, but also in the faithful son. It was the humanity of the faithful son to question his identity, worth, and love from the father after all of his faithfulness. This I believe is a natural question that will come up, and it is okay for the question to come up as long as we get God’s perspective on the matter.

The way that we get God’s perspective on the matter is to go to God. The prodigal son humbled himself and went to God to get his perspective of himself, and God went and left the party to meet his faithful son to share his heart with him. As long as we get to God, and are humble enough to hear him, we will not be moved because of these types of scenarios.

God showed himself as a compassionate father to both sons dealing with them according to their specific needs. Not according to partiality toward one or the other, but according to the unique needs that each of his sons had. Because God loves all of his sons and daughters.  He loves those who obey and those who need to fall harder to begin to obey later.

It is Satan’s objective to convince both the faithful son and the unfaithful son out of his inheritance. The faithful by believing God is unjust and his obedience has been in vain, and the unfaithful simply through impatience, carnality, and rebellion. Many of God’s people fall into this trap, but we need to begin to recognize it as just that a trap.

What God has promised us is already ours. In God’s mind, it already belongs to us. God is at total rest and peace concerning what he has promised us. It is us who become discouraged and allow things to come in and distract us. If we hold on, at the appointed time, we will see the fruit of our obedience and steadfastness.

I will also add that both sons in this story are both necessary so that God can get his full glory as not only a sustainer of those who obey him, but also a redeemer of those who disobey him. Both testimonies are necessary to point back to God and his redeeming power, so that all will know that they have a place in Christ if they humble themselves in coming to him. Let’s not get distracted by how someone gets to the revelation of their need for God, but let’s be thankful that they got there.

Be sure to read part two next week as I talk about competition, anger, and bitterness regarding this topic.

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5 Habits of the Maturing:

As believers, we are to be maturing which means we aren’t to stay in the same place, but to grow instead. Everyone may not be at the same level of maturity, but we are all maturing in some aspects. Below are some signs to notice when you may be maturing.

Mature people do not fight every battle
People are often easily jealous of mature individuals because of their maturity. Some insecure individuals see the promotion that comes with walking in maturity or godly wisdom without seeing the trials and tests that propelled the mature individual to maturity. Immediately the insecure individuals may compare themselves to the mature individual, and not feeling as though she measures up; she immediately looks for the worse in the mature person to put him down.

A mature believer will not fight this battle with an insecure person, but instead secretly pray that the insecure person would get a revelation of who she is in Christ. In doing so, the mature individual maintains honor.

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11 (NIV)

Mature people make hard choices when they know it is right even when they are afraid
Mature people will not allow fear to stop them. There may be something that is required to be done such as to confront a person in a biblical manner for the purpose of forgiveness or clarity. Even though these things are uncomfortable, a mature person will do what is necessary because he understands the benefit of doing what is right even when it is hard or uncomfortable. The mature person will value the result which will be clarity and forgiveness which allows for wholeness and soundness of mind rather than crouching in fear. Overcoming uncomfortable situations such as unforgiveness and fear allows us to operate at our best, and that is God’s will for us. Confrontation can be scary, but necessary. The mature will know when it is necessary.

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23-24 (NIV)

Mature People Practice Discipline. They don’t always do what they want to do.
Mature people practice discipline meaning they know how to delay what they want right now; for a more appropriate time. They don’t overdue it. They don’t watch too much television, or spend too much time on social media. Instead, they remain focused to the task at hand, and once completed; they are rewarded because of their diligence. They don’t just think about today, but they also consider tomorrow.

Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in forced labor.  Proverbs 12:24 (NIV)

Mature people are humble enough to understand that they don’t know everything
They learn at every chance and every opportunity that they get. They are not offended from learning from someone who is younger than them they will learn from anyone or any situation where they can draw something from. They understand the value of growth the value of learning the value of getting better. Mature people understand the value of other people. They understand that they cannot do things alone, and that they need others for help. They are willing to do what is necessary to be in right and healthy relationship with others.

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem the other better than himself. Philippians 2:3 (KJV)

Mature people acknowledge the Lord in all of their ways
It’s a habit to mention to the Lord plans, thoughts, interests, and ideas. Doing so, is what makes our plans so successful. Either God will allow us to see that our ideal isn’t what he has in mind for us, or he will began to give us wisdom to walk out our plans and ideas in a manner that pleases him.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

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