What seeds are we sowing today that will provide the peace, opportunity, and unity of future generations as it relates to race and ethnicity?
Many may have noticed the increase of racially charged news on all forms of media including social media. Some of the stories floating on social media aren’t true; however, it’s clear that a real problem exists. If the problem that exists is not dealt with; what will it mean for our future generations in this country of America?
For a good while, it seemed that we stood on a somewhat plane of unity based on the work of the many civil rights activists who came before us. These activists were Black and White working together toward a common goal. That goal was freedom and justice for all people. It seemed that after several laws were passed such as the “Civil Rights Act”, “Fair Housing Act”, and “Brown Vs. Board of Education” there was an attempt to live together in unity and understand one another even though all did not personally agree with integration.
Now, with the settling of social media as a norm, and the election of a president who is not ashamed to hold views that cause him to appear racist, there has been an emboldening of racial division. People feel disenfranchised and powerless toward the police, and the melting-pot of racial divide continues to simmer.
What will that simmering bring about? If we aren’t careful to be intentional of the seeds that we so today as it relates to our thinking about race and ethnic relations, it could easily produce something that we aren’t proud of as a nation and a people. The former thinkers and activists always acted intentionally when racial injustice peered it’s ugly head, and the former activists who have had the most impact have always used their faith as a spearhead to guide them through the uncomfortable fields of social activism.
Some examples of those social activists are not as well known as Martin Luther King. Examples include Fannie Lou Hamer, and John Perkins. Mrs. Hamer started out being tricked into sharecropping at 6 years old. After attending an event that shared the importance of voting, she quickly signed up to vote, and because of it was fired from her job. She then faced much domestic terrorism and intimidation as she continued to rally others to vote. She was beaten and thrown in jail, yet she held true to her Christian beliefs that she would not allow the hatred of others to cause her to hate.
John Perkins is still with us today. In 1970 he was ambushed by several police officers, tortured, and threatened, but he also chose not to hate them. Instead, he continued his work in the community spear-headed by his faith. He came up with a 3- R program to deal with rebuilding the community and providing racial reconciliation. His 3 – R program is summed up in Relocation, Reconciliation, and Redistribution. More can be found on his program, and the work that he has done at (https://jvmpf.org/our-history/). The work of social reconciliation and equality is uncomfortable and many choose not to deal with it. Many choose to remain silent altogether, and pretend that it doesn’t exist. That’s like boiling a pot of soup and watching it boil over, and expecting the mess made to clean itself up.
We all have a responsibility in this. Even if it’s as simple as making someone feel welcome of another culture by inviting them into your life and your world. Or it could be as simple as reminding someone of another culture that God loves them. So, I encourage you to find a common ground with someone different than yourself. Talk with them, and understand their stories, and the way that they think. Share your stories, and refuse to be defensive. Keep faith in God’s word practicing forgiveness, love, and wisdom toward all men like the examples in this post. These things can be small steps that lead to bigger ones to appropriately sow seeds that would help to design and create a better future for our children, and those to come. “This blog post is a part of Design Blogger Competition organized by CGTrader”Contest Link: Design Blogger Competition
When a single woman is considering submitting to a man, she should be well acquainted with submission and who is worthy of submission from her relationship with God and other appropriate men in her life.Single women can practice submission through their submission to God. This will show us what to expect in a man based on how Christ treats us. He willingly sacrificed himself to gain us because he loved us. He consistently forbears with us, corrects us and publicly heralds us as his own bride.
We also acknowledge similar traits in men around us. This teaches us as women who to respond to with our submission or not. Remember as single women, our primary role is not to submit to a man as if we are already married, but to be discerning about whether a brother is fit for our future.
Picking up where we left off on last week; below are some additional values we can look for as single women courting, dating, and waiting, for marriage:
Complimentary Purpose: This would note that you have an idea of your purpose and are either operating in it to some degree or working toward operating in it. Purposes should not clash. His purpose does not have to be the exact same, but should not stand in the way of you operating fully in who you are, and fully in your purpose. If a woman has to deny being herself; then most likely it isn’t an appropriate relationship that the woman should include in her future.
Demonstrated Vision for His Life: Where no vision is the people perish. Getting with a brother who has absolutely no vision for his life is like taking a huge risk on an investment known to be unstable. 9 times out of 10 the relationship will not fulfill it’s purpose. It will probably only be based on more trivial things such as attraction and that’s it. Attraction is not enough to keep a relationship together. There has got to be more, and vision for our future isn’t a bad place to start. Clear Understanding of His Role As a Man of God: A husband’s role is clearly spelled out in the book of Ephesians. A man is to love his wife as Christ loves the church. He is supposed to make his wife better by helping to shape her and prune her like Christ does the church. (See, Eph 5:27, and John 15:2). There are additional things such as providing and such, but these are some of the core things that we should be looking for.
A woman should already be secure in walking out her role as a woman in Christ. This is how she will be recognized. Notice Jesus pruned the vine that was already bringing forth fruit. A real man of God is looking for a woman of God who is already operating in her identity in Christ.
Willingness to Work Together: He may have some flaws. Like we as women have flaws such as selfishness, and pride. Is he willing to work on his selfishness? Are you willing to work on your overspending. If the two of you are willing to work at your flaws while showing grace toward one another; there is a strong chance that the relationship can go further.
When we meet a man who exhibits these above traits; we know that eventually when we do get married we will be submitting to this man of God. Let us focus as single women right now more on the fruit then the idea of practicing being a wife and submitting to a man. We will have plenty of time for that later on if we do well with where we are right now.
The question sort of lingers in the back of a single woman’s mind, “Should I as a single woman submit myself to a man?”
A wise woman that I follow on social media named Emily McKnight shared that a single woman should not submit herself to a man in dating because the man is not her husband, and I can understand why.
Many people look at submission through different lenses. You have the men that feel that submission is a woman who does whatever he says to do or who allows herself to be controlled by a man, and there are women who believe the same.
A woman who gets into agreement with the above, and allows a man to control her every move without thinking, discerning, or following the wisdom of God shows a lack of identity.
A woman who lacks identity should not be dating at all. She should be establishing her relationship with God, and identity in God’s word.
For those of us who are ready for a spouse we can ask ourselves the below question.
“Is this man worthy of my submission?”
As single women who may be courting, dating, or waiting for someone appropriate to date, our mindsets should be geared toward the future. We should be asking ourselves if a brother is the type of a brother who we could have a peaceful future with in Christ.
In asking these questions for ourselves, we become fruit inspectors. The Bible says that we will know them by the fruit that they bear. This is the consistent behavior of the men pursuing us. Some of the main things we should be looking at are shared values, similar or complimentary purpose, demonstrated vision for life, and the understanding of a man’s role. With that said, we should be firm in each of the topics listed that we should be looking for in a potential mate.
Shared Values: Shared values are standard beliefs that will not change because they are based off of the word of God, such as a relationship with God, the definition of love, and demonstrated obedience to God.
Having a relationship with God is a given, and obedience to God’s word should be a given, but unfortunately it doesn’t always come with the package for those who identify as believers.
When it comes to the value of real love, many don’t understand the difference of real love from what they view on television. Many think love is an ouh-awe feeling, and when that ouh-awe feeling isn’t felt; many relinquish the ideal that love can be love.
When it comes down to it love is a choice. Love is something that a person has to be intentional at. A person has to make an intentional choice to love truly, and then the ouh-awe feelings will be sparked out of that. What is loving truly? Loving truly is loving patiently, loving without keeping a record of wrong, loving consistently. See 1 Corinthians 13 for what real love is. A person needs to be mature enough to see the value of love as this so that she does not settle for anything less or pass up on this because love was not what she expected.
Be careful with a man who desires to create the ouh-awe feeling through being physical, instead of being sacrificial. Being physical produces a short-lived emotional connection, but loving truly produces a life-long mental, spiritual, and emotional connection. Make sure that the way that you value love and the way that he values love is the same thing.
The couple needs to agree on these very important values and more.
What are some of the values that you have for the man who comes into your life, and brothers what are some of the values that you have for the women that come into your life? Please, share in the comments below.
Stay tuned for next week as we continue to look at majors to be considered when determining if a guy is someone we can one day submit to as future wives in this two part series “The Single Woman & Submission.”
I remember going to one of the pastors at my church asking him to pray for me because I was not getting the response I wanted from a gentleman that I was interested in befriending. and also I had never had a boyfriend before and how weird I felt about being so old having not had a real relationship with a gentlemen. The pastor shared with me that God was probably just hiding me. He shared that sometimes God will hide his singles for his purpose and in order to preserve us for the right one. He said that I should count it a blessing to not have gone through some of the things that others have gone through in relationships.
I felt so much better after praying with the pastor. In our society today, it is awkward how one’s worth can be tied to being in a relationship where if you are in a relationship you are seen as valuable and able to get with someone, and when you are single for long periods of time you are seen as rejected and not able to get with someone.
That type of thinking should not be adopted in the church because God sets people aside for his purpose and God sees those people as hidden treasure. He sees them as a good thing. A thing to be cherished and protected. That is how God sees the women that he has taken the time to mold into godly wise women.
“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD (NIV). – Proverbs 18:22″
This particular scripture is addressed to men. Men are the ones who find wives not women, and they are the ones who will get favor if they decide to look at the woman who has developed into wife-material as a good thing the way that God sees her, and not someone to be used the way that the world sees her.
I agree that it is in a man’s nature to hunt or to pursue a woman and that they feel a sense of pride and self-assurance when they are able to successfully capture that woman, but the question is once that woman is captured what is that man’s intentions with the woman. Is he capturing her to treat her like a whore and go on to the next sexual pursuit or does he intend to treat her like the treasure or good thing that she is.
Treasure is hidden because it is very valuable. Everyone does not know how to treat treasure. Many people see the beauty, glitz and glam of treasure without understanding the work that was put into it. Therefore the treasure has to be hidden until the worth of the treasure is understood, because until then the treasure will be mistreated and squandered as if it is common when it is not. Hence, the scripture “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces (Matthew 7:6, NIV).
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Take the lesson from the story of the prodigal son. The prodigal son was immature or under-developed in the understanding of his inheritance. He begged his father for something that he was not yet ready for. He did not understand the hard work his father put into earning that money and putting it aside so that when his son was mature he could put the inheritance to good use. Instead of putting the inheritance to good use, the prodigal son squandered the money because he did not understand the value of it. Instead of favor he got to himself shame and poverty.
What God is saying to men in Proverbs 18:22 is not to treat his good things as common, but to treat them as the treasure that they are and favor will be obtained by God in the process. God has invested a lot of time training women up to be wise prudent women and he is protective of us and reassures us of our worth again and again in scripture.
Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD (Proverbs 19:14, NIV).
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies (Proverbs 31:1, NIV).
A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands (Proverbs 14:1, N.L.T.)
How does it look for a man to treat a woman like the good thing that she is. If we take a look at Ruth we see the perfect example. First, Boaz was able to recognize her as a good thing. When he recognized her as a good thing, he immediately took steps to marry her. There was someone else before him, who had rights to marry her according to the tradition in that culture, and Boaz went to see if he would, when he said no then Boaz jumped right on it. He realized that he may not see another woman like this in his life-time; therefore, he took the necessary steps to pursue the woman all the way to marriage. He was careful not to place her in a compromising position, telling her to let it not be known that she spent the night with him on the threshing floor. The Bible makes it clear that they did not have sex that night on the threshing floor.
I feel that this Proverbs 18:22 has been unnecessarily taken out of context. Because of the interpretation taught in the church many women feel like their worth comes from a man pursuing them for marriage and if a man isn’t pursing her for marriage her worth is little to nothing at all. That is not true. A woman is a good thing before the man finds her because that woman is made good by God. Her worth is the same before and after marriage.
Many women fall into temptation and get caught up because the men who are pursuing them are only pursing them for sex, and they figure if they can’t get wifed the right way they will try something different, but that is not how it should be.
Women should not be taught to just wait around for a man to approach them to be wifed, but to grow in discernment, wisdom, grace, beauty, character and godliness looking to God to provide the right gentlemen for them who will honor them and treat them like the treasure that they are. That way when they do come into contact with men they will know how to choose wisely.
I am hidden treasure because I am wise. I know how to go in and out, when to speak and when to shut my mouth.
I am hidden treasure because I am a builder. I build others up around me instead of tear them down. I use my time wisely working well with what is in my possession to do. I am intuitive finding out new things that will benefit others around me as well as things that will benefit my future family such as healthy eating recipes, money-saving tips, and all sorts of things. I am an encourager meaning that no one around me will feel that they cannot make it because I will be there to build them up when it is in my power to do so. With God I can do anything; therefore, I will encourage others to believe the same about themselves.
I am hidden treasure because my husband will be able to have a place of peace and comfort where he can find pleasure, love, wisdom and respect without having to worry about me sleeping with other men or giving him an STD.
I am hidden treasure because I know who I am in Christ, and I belong to God. Women should be learning how to be wise women, learning how to be builders, how to use their time wisely looking to God who protects us and not to men. Women should be encouraged to use discernment when talking to these men that approach them knowing their worth and that they are not to entertain every man who comes their way. The Bible says to “Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge” (Proverbs 14:7, KJV).
Lastly, Proverbs 18:22 is not meant to place women in bondage saying that we cannot show interest in a man, or converse with a man. It all depends on the wisdom for each specific situation. Some situations may require that you say nothing or do nothing, while others may require that you make your interest known. We have to know how to move in every situation. We see that Ruth showed interest in Boaz after getting wisdom from someone who knew better.
Many people will argue that Boaz showed interest in Ruth first, but according to the scriptures, I see a close relative of Ruth’s mother-in-law being nice to his relatives’ relative and also being a professional business man. Ruth was a new face gleaning in his field. He wanted to make sure she was protected from any men who may try to take advantage of her. He didn’t want a sexual harassment case. He invited her to lunch with other workers, it wasn’t just him and Ruth alone, and the Bible says that she set with the other reapers in the field when they went to lunch. This treatment is not clear that Boaz was interested in Ruth for marriage. It is clear that he is a nice gentlemen who fears God. Women have to be careful not to read too much into men becoming presumptuous about their actions.
Ruth chose to show interest in Boaz for marriage in an unassuming way and that is the correct way to deal with a man if interest must be shown. What I mean by unassuming is that is that Boaz could not take away from her approach that she was a silly woman only looking for a get-down time, a Jezebel woman looking to coerce her way into a marriage with him, but a wise woman looking to be valued as a wife.
The way that Ruth showed interest in Boaz was common in that culture for a woman to show interest in a man by uncovering his feet and lying down (Archaeological study Bible, Pg. 387). When dealing with men, women just need to have wisdom. I have four brothers, my dad and two male cousins that I am close with. So, I know a thing or two about men. Men do not like to feel or appear to be belittled. It’s a part of their nature, and the Bible says for a woman not to usurp authority over a man (1 Timothy 2:12). That basically means that a woman should be able to deal with a man in such a way as not to strip him of the authority given to him by God as the head.
After a woman shows interest or as she interacts with a man, the man still needs to be able to take the lead as the head. If he isn’t able to, then either the woman is out of place taking on that role herself or the man doesn’t know who he is and should be left alone until he grows and matures. However, there is no hard evidence in the Bible that says a woman should not show interest in a man. That is my take on Proverbs 18:22 along with the fact that the take away for women should be that we are treasures or good things and men need to see us as such in order to be our husbands.
What are the character traits about you that make you hidden treasure? Are there things that you need to work on? What is your take on Proverbs 18:22?
The Importance of Marrying in Christ and the Additional Death If We Do Not Marry In Christ:
IT WAS NEVER GOD’S WILL FOR US TO MARRY INTO BONDAGE, BUT TO MARRY INTO THE ADVANCEMENT OF HIS KINGDOM.
We began this series speaking about the importance of trusting in our husbands while submitting to their lead even in times where they do not express surety in how they are leading. Well, that isn’t such a bad situation for the woman who marries a man who is already following Christ because a man who is already following Christ can be corrected by God when he is wrong.
Thus, the whole family is covered because both the wife and the husband are committed to the Lord. However, when only the wife is saved this will be a greater challenge. It becomes a gut wrenching difficulty to submit to a man who is not a man of God. We do not have to allow ourselves to go through that additional pain if we choose well. This is why it is so important as single women of God to develop our relationships with God allowing him to mature us and to lead us in our decisions by his word. You see, the Bible does not say for a woman to submit to her husband only if her husband is saved and submitted to the Lord. It says that she should simply submit to her husband, and the couple that is married with one spouse being unsaved; the saved partner covers the unsaved partner.
For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is , they are holy. 1 Corinthians 7:13-14 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 1 Peter 3:1-2
The above scripture implies that the wife’s job will be to humble herself being an example of Christ to her husband when she is saved and the husband is not. Depending on how far her husband is away from the knowledge of God; this can be very difficult. Marriage already has a way of humbling two people, but being married to someone who is not in Christ or perhaps only walking by a religious spirit; will be all the more difficult. It’s almost like dying an additional death to yourself each day. Your ministry becomes being a light to your partner so that he can be convicted and drawn to Christ. Whereas, if this same woman in this scripture would have waited for a man who was already saved and submitted to God; her ministry would be based around advancing the kingdom of God along with her husband who is like-minded.
PURPOSES SHIFT WHEN WE MARRY OUTSIDE OF CHRIST.
And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 1 Corinthians 7:13
Just because the situation is difficult doesn’t mean that the wife should divorce her husband. This is why single ladies must count up the cost. Are you willing to humble yourself and endure your husband not operating as one submitted to the Lord? Are you willing to submit to the way that he operates out of fear for God.
Are you willing to take the disappointment that may come from this and forgive again and again, and submit again and again. We have to count up the cost, and realize that if we are spiritually mature in Christ, it would be idea, easier, and more appropriate to marry a man who is spiritually mature in Christ. If we do so, we’d be able to move more as a unit fulfilling and advancing in the purpose that Christ has put us together for.
However, if two people are together that do not agree; they will have to do a lot of work to bring up the unlearned person before the plan of God can be considered. God’s plan in that situation is for them to get their house in order. Ladies, you make the choice. In either situation, it is a big responsibility to trust in our husbands and submit to their lead when we do not want to; but it is easier done when we marry a man who is already in Christ and submitted to godly authority. This man will not be perfect, but he will be submitted to the Lord and that makes all the difference. Perhaps, if you are a woman considering marrying an unsaved man or a man who isn’t submitted to authority; you should talk with another older woman who has done so. I have been blessed with a first class seat on what married life is like being married to a man not submitted to God and godly authority. It is a heavy emotional roller coaster. It is one that can be avoided through practicing patience, wisdom, and trust in God.
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14
SUBMISSION DONE GOD’S WAY IS A PLACE OF SAFETY. SUBMISSION DONE ACCORDING TO THE WORLD IS BONDAGE.
A Modern Day Example of a Test of Submission in a Marriage Relationship: Let’s take the below scenario as an example of how a woman can apply this principle in marriage. Remember we want a husband who is submitted to the Lord already and this will minimize disagreements. However, let’s say a woman’s husband picks up a gambling habit during the marriage.
He has been spending a few hundred at the boat, and has gotten somewhat addicted. Now, he plans to take the family’s next paycheck and gamble the whole check away to win the money back that he lost. What should the wife do according to the principle discussed in this series? What would you do? a.) Budget the money, and suggest that he takes the extra $300 left over to gamble with.
b.) The husband refuses to use the extra left over money, and insists on using the whole check. Therefore, you submit to him in this, and go to your prayer closet and pray that God changes his heart.
c.) Worry, and pull your hair out. Try nagging, and belittling him because he is a man and should take care of his family. Trusting in God to take care of the family while trusting the husband in this case would be extremely difficult. I believe to choose (a) is wisdom, and if the man resists the woman has no choice, but to choose (b). If her husband is truly a man of God who is submitted to God; he will be corrected through the conviction of the Holy Ghost or God will send someone else to correct him. If he is not a true man of God who is submitted to the Lord; The wife will have problems. She is basically on her own, and will be forced to cover the mortgage herself. This is the reason why the Bible teaches us not to be unequally yoked together with unbelievers because we will always be going in different directions.
What would you do in this situation? Which path would you choose? Answer in the poll below.
Trusting in Our Husbands Does not Mean We Lose Our Voice As Women:
This does not mean that Sarah did not say anything about the situation or present an alternate idea. We don’t know that because it isn’t mentioned in scripture. What we do know is that she submitted to him.
My point here is that women do not have to lose their personalities, and not be allowed to speak or share in decision making. It is all about the spirit in which we communicate. Is it out of respect for our husbands? Are we of a quiet and peaceable disposition meaning not combative, demeaning, dismissive or the like?
Are we looking down on a brother thinking to ourselves, “come on man, you should know this.” Finally, if our man does not agree with us, will we submit anyway allowing him to have the final authority as the man, and will we trust God like Sarah to work it out for us, and to protect us, and our families.
This series has taught us the below:
Trust God
Respect our husbands by trusting them in their ability to make decisions and lead even when it is wrong.
Don’t lose ourselves by not communicating or having anything to contribute. We just need to be mindful of how we contribute, and that should be done out of a peaceable, quiet, and respectful disposition.
Respecting our men is often how we cover them.
We learn to trust God as singles, and carry that into our marriages as we respect our husbands.
Our example Sarah, stayed in subjection to Abraham, covered his insecurity through submission and respect, and the outcome because of her obedience was well.
Abraham and Sarah were traveling through a foreign land. Abraham came up with the idea for Sarah to say that she is his sister because he is afraid the king of the foreign land will kill him and take his wife Sarah to be his wife because Sarah was beautiful to look at (Genesis 20:2-18).
We see that Sarah submitted to her husband’s word to tell Abimelek, the king that she was only his sister, and not his wife. After her submission to him, Abimelek took her into his house because she was fine. He had other plans for her as if she was single. God, the one in whom Sarah trusted to cover both her and her husband, and to correct Abraham her head when he was wrong covered them both.
Note, remember in the last blog post, we read how it takes trust in God to trust our husbands in such a way as to still have a peaceable and quiet spirit especially when they are wrong.
This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do. 1 Peter 3:5-6
We have to continue to maintain our peace, quiet spirit, and respect in the middle of similar situations as what Sarah endured. Note, a quiet spirit is a disposition of trust in the Lord not necessarily avoiding voicing how we feel. Our voices are important and should be articulated with respect and considered with respect and care.
God Goes to Bat for Sarah
God appears to King Abimelek telling him he is a dead man. God told Abimelek that Sarah was married and went as far as to close the wombs of all women in the kingdom because of the situation created by Abraham’s fear or insecurity.
When we submit to our husbands and continue to honor, and respect them like Sarah, even if they are wrong we will still be covered because we are ultimately submitting to and honoring God when we honor our husbands. We are honoring the order, covering, and safe place God has given us as women, and ultimately this lifestyle requires us to still place our trust in Christ to show how trustworthy he is.
God took care of it. Again, I reiterate that trusting our husband’s with a quiet and peaceable spirit requires us to trust God.
Sarah on the contrary could have argued with Abraham putting him down for such a plan, which would have damaged him more. It would have created a weight in their relationship, and driven a wedge between them. Even though she would have been right, her actions and how she would have gone about it would have been wrong. The way that she decided to handle it resulted in the best way to handle it. This is proven by the results.
Results of Sarah’s submission and respect for her husband:
Everything worked out.
Abraham was convicted and corrected about his actions by King Abimelek.
All the while, Sarah was protected, and she did not even have to open up her mouth.
Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. – 1 Peter 3:3-4 (NLT)
In other words…
A quiet spirit is a disposition of peace, rest, and confidence in our husband’s ability to lead us. Just like the peace and rest in our ability for Christ to lead us through his Spirit along with his word.
To not trust our husband is to insult his ability and character. Just like to not trust God, and rest in what he says insults the very nature of who God is. This is a huge insult to a man.
With this understanding, I am more thankful for the many trials and tribulations that the Lord has allowed me to go through to increase my trust in him. Truly, enduring through the trials of life is also a huge part of preparation for marriage for the single woman of God. Walking through the trials of life with God teach her how to trust him on another level. This is the type of a woman that when her husband loses his job; she will tell him it will be okay, and she still trusts in him. This is the type of a woman that a real man of God needs by his side. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do. – 1 Peter 3:5-6 It is interesting that the above scripture used Sarah and Abraham as examples because of the next part of this blog series. It is important for us as women to respect, and submit to our husbands in peace or a quiet spirit because they are imperfect.
They will be leading and making mistakes at times because they are imperfect, and those are the main times when we will need to respect them because those will be their most vulnerable times, and it will take trust in God in order to do this. If you read the above scripture over again, you will see this specifically. Don’t miss it. It says, “They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands.” We can remain at peace following our husband’s leadership only when we trust in Christ. Our next blog, will show an example of Sarah practicing trusting her husband Abraham when he is wrong, and how it turned out in both Sarah and Abraham’s favor due to the intervention of God. When the order of God is correct, it leaves room for God to intervene. Only wise women practice the things taught in this series.
As women, it’s easy to concentrate on the glitz and glamour of romance in a God-fulfilling relationship with a man, but the presentation of a godly relationship presents more than the lovely opportunity to love and be loved. It presents an opportunity for the man and woman to put into operation the picture of Christ and the church through the beauty of submission. While both the man and the woman are to submit to one another.
The woman has the responsibility of allowing the man’s decision to be the final decision as he is the head and leader of the home. This can be hard when a woman is in disagreement with that man’s decision however this series will show how to handle that.
As women, it is very important that we cover our husbands in trusting their ability to lead us. This is especially important when our husbands display their insecurities or the fact that they just don’t have it all together because those are the moments when they are the most vulnerable.
Just like we as women have insecurities and desire for our husbands to cover us with their love reminding us that we are beautiful when we feel un-pretty, or that they chose us because they wanted us when we feel like we aren’t enough for them. In the same way, we have to cover them when their insecurities show up that they just don’t have it altogether. Who does have it altogether? That’s why we need each other.
In this five part series, we will cover the importance in trusting in our husbands, submitting to them when they show their insecurities, the need to trust Christ to do so, and the result of doing things in this way through viewing an example with Sarah and Abraham. Some of my girls, and I were riding to the movies a few weeks ago discussing what most men want in a wife. My friend mentioned that Michelle McKinney Hammond had done a survey of several men asking them what was most important to them when seeking a woman to settle down with. All of the men, that she interviewed mentioned trust as the one thing that they had to have from their woman.
Of course, we know that trust is earned, but if a man has earned our trust enough to gain our hand in marriage; He ought to have our trust enough to lead us. As single women, we should only expect to give our hand to a brother in marriage if he is submitted to God. In other words, the man is displaying on a consistent basis consistent submission to God’s word. Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; Being in subjection is a form of trust and respect for that man and his ability. While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 1 Peter 3:1-2 Fear means a reverence and respect. There is a consistency of respect that the woman of God must embody toward her husband that shows trust, reverence, submission, and a willingness to follow his lead. Stay tuned to read more on trusting our husband’s and following their lead in a quiet (peaceable) spirit on next week.
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