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Is it Okay for Christians to Listen to Secular Music?

I’ve had a few people ask me this question this past summer. I even had one brother go as far as to say that he will be bumping Trip Lee on his honeymoon lol! That was too funny! Of course, I discouraged bumping Trip Lee on the honeymoon, but everyone has their preference.

As for me, I believe that the Word of God should be the authority in every area of our lives. While the Word of God doesn’t specifically say listen to “secular music” or not. It does provide general guidelines for our lives such as the below scripture:

For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come – Philippians 4:8

The above scripture provides a guideline of how to assess our interaction with things that only pertain to profiting the body, natural man, or the flesh. Secular music is something that primarily appeals to our natural man and there is nothing wrong with that unless the secular music is awakening sin in us and that is a different issue altogether.

There are many things that deal with our natural man that are totally appropriate and beneficial such as the example mentioned earlier that was associated with marriage. On a honeymoon type of experience, I would not play any rap. If I did choose to play music it would definitely be R&B or Jazz. The Bible has no problem with this, it has a benefit. However, it does not have the same benefit of things that awaken or quicken our spiritual man and spiritual appetites.

I believe that we should be aware of what appetites are being awakened inside of us. If a person is single, and listening to a bunch of freaky get down music such as Jodeci Freakin You and the like; that will awaken the appetite to get freaky, and it clearly isn’t time for that yet because the person listening to the song is unmarried.

That is another clue of whether a song would be appropriate or not is what is being aroused in you? Only you can really answer that question. What may arouse one person with a song may mean nothing at all for another. For example, I was counseling a young lady who was coming out of an unhealthy relationship, and I had to pick her up for Bible study. Although, I can listen to my love songs with no big deal, I knew that may arouse memories of the guy she was trying to separate from, and that could cause her to stumble, so I only played my gospel playlist in the car on the way to Bible study.

Because I am a person who desires to have my heart after God, I intentionally limit how much secular music I listen to even though what I am listening to isn’t bad. I do this because I want my affections to be stirred up toward the things of God more. So, I will play a little Babyface, Toni Braxton etc., but also I will listen to more Tripp Lee, Lecrae, Karyn Hawthrowne and such. Why? Because it is more profitable for me in this life, and in the life to come.

I am also choosy with what I listen to. I do not listen to music that I believe is out of line with the Word of God. If the song is promoting adultery, fornication, murder, or anything not in line, I simply don’t entertain it.

God does not necessarily tell us everything to do or not to do, but he gives us wisdom in his word so that we can respond appropriately no matter what questions we are faced with. So, when you decide to listen to a song that is considered a secular song, consider whether it is something that awakens sin in you or something that is simply okay. Consider if it is wise to listen to a particular song in a particular season and if the song is causing you to think contrary to the word of God.

God doesn’t want to load us down with rules that only place us in bondage and prevent us from enjoying this life that God gave us to enjoy, but he does give us wisdom so that our freedom in Christ Jesus does not place us in bondage.

You say, “I am allowed to do anything”–but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything. – 1 Corinthians 6:12

The Story of Marriage – Book Review

The Story of Marriage was written by two of my favorite authors and speakers: John & Lisa Bevere. They are a husband and wife team who have been in ministry for years sharing several nuggets to assist the Body of Christ in coming to maturity.

I loved the book! It started out with the theme of comparing a marriage to a tree. Lisa & John likened a marriage to a tree sharing the below:

“In so many ways, our marriages can be likened to trees of life. Marriages grow at different rates in different seasons and do best when anchored by mature roots. They experience both fruit-bearing and barren years, as well as years of exceptional growth and others when growth is stunted. Each marriage is affected by its native climate, varying seasons, and buffeting storms, yet marriage offers shelter from life’s ever-changing winds.”

The couple makes clear that the idea of marriage is not a trap or something a person should fear getting stuck in. They turn the negative concept of fear into a positive by presenting marriage with the idea of it enlarging us as people. They use the term in the book, “the largeness of marriage.” This is a term that describes the enrichment that will come from marriage including the maturation, safety, humility, patience, and selflessness that is produced.

The book includes worksheets, questions, and guidelines at the end of each chapter that are great for couples to go through together, as well as for singles to look at to become aware of some of the work that marriage takes. Some key points the lesson outlines is a template on how to set a vision for our marriages, so that both the husband and wife will have set expectations and goals that they both have agreed to work toward.

They speak about living with one another as best friends, and not just partners raising kids so that when the kids are gone, the couple will remain strong.

Some quotes that I loved:

​“If we lack joy in God we’ll lack the strength to do marriage well.”

“Joy is a fruit of the Spirit, which means it is received from God and not from circumstances.”

“When we are not continually filled with and stimulated by God’s Spirit, we will look to our spouses to fill needs only God can fill.”

All of the above quotes deal with our personal relationship with God that provides us with the joy, hope, and fulfillment in life that we need. Not only does it fulfill us, but our relationship with God acts as a basis for identifying with every other relationship that we will have in life especially the relationship of marriage.

It’s a worldly mindset that sees preparation for marriage as simply just dating around to use others for selfish purposes such as sex, or almost sex, money, and self-esteem. Because true preparation for marriage is a genuine and submitted relationship to and with God. Our selfish ideas that we practice as singles prepare us for failed marriages because one of the greatest foundations of a marriage is serving the other spouse above ourselves.
The Bevere’s make this point clear when they state that the husband is the lead servant, and the servant shall be the greatest. The husband is the head, thus he has to take on being the lead or example servant, much like Jesus Christ did when he said he came to serve, and he humbled himself washing his disciple’s feet.

The wife is not excluded in serving either. Both spouses must approach the marriage from a non-selfish view of serving one another.

“If you approach marriage from the truly humble position of a servant, you will experience a divine union.”

​“Serving is about both action and attitude. Every time you have occasion to serve your spouse, you can choose one of three responses: to refuse and opt for selfishness, to serve with a begrudging sense of obligation, or to joyfully lay down your life because you delight in supporting your mate.”

They share the below scripture in regarding Jesus’ humility:

You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God…he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave. – Philippians 2:5-7

The Story of Marriage by John & Lisa Bevere is definitely worth the read. Messenger International, their publishing company, has a holiday sale going on right now of 50% off of products at their website: Click here for Messenger International

Babygirl, You Ain’t Gotta Do All of That to Get a Man:

I’m noticing some of my younger sisters in Christ walking on dangerous territory in the name of trying to be loved. Some of my younger sisters in Christ are experimenting sexually and trying to learn to become good at sex acts in the name of attracting and keeping a man.

Women who value their worth simply based on what they can offer physically do not love themselves, know themselves, nor trust God enough to provide a man for them who will treat them like they are worth more. A woman who does this shows that she isn’t whole enough to even pursue a relationship.

She has skipped some of the first foundational things that ensure a healthy relationship. Those things are first a healthy relationship with God, ones-self, and with other people. This is foundational. A woman who has these three things will know that she has more to offer a man than what’s in between her legs.

She will then be able to discern properly who is appropriate for her and who is not. She will be saved boatloads of heartache, and have enough energy to pursue her dreams and healthy friendships on top of her foundation. A woman who leads with her body has no foundation and is headed for hard times.

I understand that many women have been rejected or had improper things planted during the upbringing years, but that is no excuse. We all have had hard challenges to deal with, but God is a healer. We have a choice to make. Will we do things according to the standard of the world and make things worse, or will we submit to God and allow him to heal us?

Not only do women place their hearts at risk for brokenness and hardness from allowing themselves to be used for sex, but their very quality of life as women is placed at risk as well. If a woman thinks she has experienced rejection, imagine experiencing the rejection of knowing that you have an STD that makes no one want to be intimate with you again. These are the things that occur at greater risk to anyone who opens themselves up to sexual exploits outside of the safe place of marriage.

You have to recognize your sexual exploits for what they are a coping tool to cover and heal yourself when only God can heal you. If you get an incurable STD, you will lose your coping mechanism and only be left with God to heal you.

Why not choose God’s way now? I know God’s way is not easy nor glamorous, but it is worth it, and you are worth it. You don’t have to try to figure out how to be the best at oral sex, and various positions. When you do that you only diminish your worth, and value plus you only arouse more sin within yourself. Sin’s only payment is death. You cannot get life out of an arrangement of death. There will be death to any healthy view of yourself you had as your worth becomes contingent on a man wanting you physically.

When you do that you only diminish your worth, and value plus you only arouse more sin within yourself.

Sin’s only payment is death. You cannot get life out of an arrangement of death. There will be death to any healthy view of yourself you had as your worth becomes contingent on a man wanting you physically.

There will be death to your dreams as you are forced to shift focus on surviving in the cold world of lust and selfishness that you have opened yourself up to. Some women go on anti-depressants because of the emotional damage alone, not to mention the STD factor or pregnancy factor. Think about what you are doing now while you are young, and have a chance to work toward a better future for yourself.

Get together with some other women who have chosen differently, and learn to walk with them so that you all can encourage one another. If you want a better future, you gotta start preparing for it right now. Don’t leave your future up to chance.

How Should You Deal With Fear of The Future?

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you. – Isaiah 26:3

There is a steadfastness that God desires to get us to. God improves our steadfastness by allowing us to go through trials and tribulations that force us to a place of seeking God that requires us to grow. In that process, we begin to keep our minds steadfast on Jesus through keeping our minds steadfast on his word. I’d like to share some of the scriptures that I like to meditate on when I am faced with things such as worry and fear concerning my future.

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delights in his way. – Psalms 37:23

Sometimes, I think we go over the scriptures to quickly, and only receive the word as a formality instead of what it is actually saying. In order for our footsteps to be ordered of the Lord, that would have to mean that our footsteps have been set up by the Lord. This means that our future is already set. Our future is already sure, firm, and stable. God has everything already planned out. Because this is the case, Satan seeks to distract us from God’s way for us and to cause us to distrust the Lord, and his plans for us.

“Our future is already sure, firm, and stable.”

The more that we trust the Lord, the surer our future will be to us. We will at that point simply walk into the way that has been set up for us. The second half of the scripture even goes as far as to say that God delights in our way.

God takes delight in the way that we take. God takes delight in setting things up on our behalf and watching us rest into his path for us. His delight is so great toward us that his mercy endures forever on our behalf to gently guide us back into the way of trusting him and his path for us when we get off. Perhaps this is why the follow-up scripture to the above talks about how a righteous man falls yet he will not be utterly cast down.

“Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholds him with his hand. – Psalms 37:24”

Another scripture that encourages me when I feel a little wavering about my future is:

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. – Psalms 32:8

We are not alone in this life. Don’t ever believe the lies of the enemy that seek to make us believe that God is too distant or that he is dis-interested in our lives. God watches over us carefully to guide us in the right path. The covering of the Lord is actually the greatest covering to be under. Don’t allow fear, mistrust, and doubt to make you push away, or disregard the covering of the Lord. He is trustworthy and our futures are secure in him. Just take some time to sit back and think meditating on how God has been orchestrating things in your life in the past to work together for your good. He has not stopped constructing things for your good.

Believe him. Believe his word, Trust him, and watch all of his promises, providence, and purposes come to pass in your life.

How to Respond to Racism and The New Jim Crow – Part III (Finale’)

If you have a burden to work against racism pursue it, but don’t leave Christ out:
God gives everyone a burden and a passion to pursue and address in life. If eradicating racism is your passion then go for it. I personally believe that racism will always exist until Jesus comes back because it is a heart issue, and the hearts of men in every generation will need to be changed as their minds are transformed by the renewing of God’s word. However, men need preachers and teachers on every subject that concerns the hearts of man in order to have their minds renewed, and racism is one of those subjects.

Why is dealing with racism important? It is important because it is an issue of justice and cannot be avoided because it is often forced on people. There are several passages of scripture where God talks about how important justice is to him.

Righteousness and justice are the foundation of God’s throne. – Psalms 89:14

He has told you O man, what is good: and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God. – Micah 6:8

Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice. – Proverbs 31:9

Afeni Shakur, mother of the slain rapper Tupac Shakur shared  things she has learned during her fight for justice:

First, she centers on what is most important saying:

“I am a product of the redemption of Christ Jesus.” She continued saying, “I believe the Black Panther party we felled because we took God out. I beg you not to do the same thing. If you take God out precious babies you are not going anywhere except to jail, to be killed, and you are going to stay angry.”

She also gave wisdom sharing that she learned that she could not take on and change every problem, but if everyone focuses on one particular problem, we all together will be able to eradicate problems.

Watch video at the end of this article.

Finally our Identity in Christ Insulates us from the insults of Racism:
God made man in his image and likeness and added additional value to our lives by sending his son Jesus to die for us. This will be our value forever, not what is imposed on us by men especially broken men who do not have a clue of what really matters.

A person choosing to stand against racism will have to be secure in his identity in Christ. It’s only then  that the insults hurled at us don’t matter because we know who we are. Just as God’s word doesn’t change or pass away our worth will never diminish or pass away because our worth is sealed in God’s word.

When we walk out our identity in Jesus Christ, It doesn’t matter what we are faced with. We know that we are fully accepted and fully loved as God’s sons and daughters. This view of ourselves will give us the power we need to continue to love all man-kind no matter the color, and even if a person holds a racist view.

Those who hold racist views do not understand their own worth and value to Christ, they do not understand that their future is not defined by an elite class maintaining control, but by God himself.  Racism is an anti-love trap imposed on people to bring them down to the level of perpetrating the bondage of racism. Do not allow it to bring you down to its level. Do not give in to hate those who hate you, or to become bitter, but stand tall and strong knowing your sure value and worth so much so that you can bear insults and become a witness to those who hate you.

Love isn’t love until it is tested.
Can you past the test of racism? Can you forgive those who have allowed the bug of racism to bite them? Can you allow hints of White supremacy to roll off of you while you walk as if you represent the highest supremacy there is, Jesus Christ.

I so absolutely love the new movie, “Marshall.” It’s a movie about the civil rights attorney, Thurgood Marshall. He had so much confidence and assurance in who he was in the film, that when others hurled insults at him because of his race, he made jokes about it and kept on rolling on with the plan at hand. That’s how we have to be—bold, secure, and unmoved.

We, like Thurgood, have to keep the vision at hand of what we are here for and focus on that instead.
Representing Jesus and his love for us is what it is all about. Let’s not be distracted by racism, but overcome it by wisdom, work, forgiveness, and love.

She Was A Virgin & He Was Not:

When a Man Loves A Woman, He is Willing to Do Whatever is Necessary to Win Her:

Sometimes, men are presented with a challenge when they are used to doing dating and relationships in a familiar way that has seemed to work in the past, but suddenly it does not work anymore.

The man who has met a match in the form of a woman that he is really interested in, yet feels unready to lead that woman properly in a way that she would respect, but most of all God would respect, will do what is necessary to meet that standard if he really wants to be with that woman. He will allow himself to go through the process necessary to ready himself to go get that girl. That’s exactly what the below gentleman did.

I’m speaking of a couple who appeared on the new Own series, “Black Love.” Edwina Findley Dickerson, and Kelvin Dickerson. They share a very awesome and interesting story in episode 3 of the beginning of their courtship they broke off and mended prior to marriage.

Edwina was in prayer, and God spoke to her sharing that Kelvin is praying about pursuing her. Not long after her encounter, Kelvin came to her sharing that he prayed about dating her, but God said no.

They continued as friends until Kelvin shared that he felt she deserved more. He was at a point in his life where he was not sure if he could wait to have sex until marriage. Edwina held strong beliefs of celibacy and would not budge. After the communication waned for some time, Edwina prepared to move to Los Angeles from New York.

During this time, her friends threw her a surprise going away party and invited Kelvin. They reconnected and became a couple again. A few years after their re-acquaintance, they got married.

Kelvin shared some pointers stating that as a man who has grown and matured, he has learned that he can control his desires, and if he can control his sexual desires as a single man; he can also control them as a married man.

He overcame the fear of not being enough for her by allowing himself the time and space to grow with God. God showed him that he had more power than he thought he had within him. He is walking in his identity as a king with a beautiful queen.

This story encouraged me to continue to trust God. Even if things don’t appear to be working out initially, God knows how to work situations in our favor. He knows how to prepare us to bring us to what he has for us.

Finally, Edwina shared an awesome thought stating that when you are whole and complete enjoying your life as a single; you will do the same thing as a married person. Despite the waiting and seeming disappointment; she held her head and continued on to live her life, and she was blessed during the process as well as in the end.

We do not have to become discouraged as single women of God, and if we do, we do not have to stay there. We can continue to hide in Christ and enjoy our lives. To the men of God who do not feel ready, who may not have been serious about obeying God in saving sex for marriage.

It is not impossible. You do not have to be afraid to pursue a woman who has a godly standard. Just allow yourself to be perfected in that area like Kelvin so you will be readied to handle that responsibility and much more.

Singleness is largely a preparation ground for marriage for those who choose to be married. How are you currently spending your singleness? Are you a serial dater going from person to person or are you someone who is spending ample enough time with God alone to allow him to make and mold you for the desire of marriage he has placed in your heart?

Watch a clip from the series below and check out the full episodes on the Own Network:

How to Respond to Racism and The New Jim Crow – Part II

Don’t allow hate to pull you down to its level. Instead, allow it to refine you as a person.

I see racism as an anti-love trap. It not only affects the victim targeted by it but probably more potently, it victimizes the one who perpetrates it.  Don’t allow racism to become your problem turning you into a bitter and hate-filled person. You have a choice as to how you will respond. If we become like those who practice hate then Satan has won and accomplished his goal.

Racism, like all opposition, can be a tool utilized to refine those who are its targets. It can make us more patient, kind, sharp, and enduring. If we stand in wisdom, discipline, wise movement, and love then Satan’s plan becomes defeated and the fool who perpetrates racism has the opportunity to see another view and possibly become humbled to the point of change.

“As you press on for justice, be sure to move with dignity and discipline, using only the weapon of love. Let no man pull you so low as to hate him. Always avoid violence. If you succumb to the temptation of using violence in your struggle, unborn generations will be the recipients of a long and desolate night of bitterness, and your chief legacy to the future will be an endless reign of meaningless chaos.” – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (1956)

“Hate begets hate; violence begets violence; toughness begets a greater toughness. We must meet the forces of hate with the power of love.” – Dr. Martin Luther Kingd, Jr. (1958)

Realize where racism comes from

Of course, it comes from greed, but it also comes from fear. There would be no need to be so strategic to overthrow a person or group of people if the ruling party was secure within themselves. There is an insecurity felt by those who practice racism that is covered by a spirit of pride and false superiority. If African-Americans were not seen as a threat; there would be no racism against us.

Thus, racism has nothing to do with Blacks being inferior, but with those who aren’t secure enough within themselves to just live, love, and support everyone. With this understanding, we do not have to take racism personally, but we can pray for those who are bound by racism.

We can not only pray but join movements that strategically put things into practice that would dismantle racist systems such as mass incarceration. Some movements to look into can be found at this link: http://newjimcrow.com/take-action

The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Color Blindness (Book Review)

The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Color Blindness

Michelle Alexander is the brave author who so carefully authored this work. I believe she had in mind as her audience all Americans despite their ethnic affiliation to prove that many of the things we’ve heard for years relating to institutional racism targeted at African-Americans are not just hearsay, but true and needs to be addressed.

She specifically addresses what she calls a new caste system, yet it is an underclass. The underclass that she speaks of legally discriminates against its caste members in the areas of housing, voting, career choice, and job security. These are all of the basic things needed to survive as a naturally productive citizen. Those who abide in this caste system find it challenging to break the negative cycles when not given other opportunities.

The parameters set around those who live in “The New Jim Crow” system are very similar to those set during the Jim Crow period in America. The caste system disproportionately affects African-American Men. Alexander goes into detail on how the “War on Drugs” was specifically set up to fill prisons with African-American males and thus assign them to the new caste system for the rest of their lives.

“Drug offenses alone account for two-thirds of the rise in the federal inmate population and more than half a million people are in prison or jail for a drug offense today, compared to an estimated 41,100 in 1980–an increase of 1,100 percent (Pg 60.)”

“Nothing has contributed more to the systematic mass incarceration of people of color in the United States than the War on Drugs.”

This would not be such a problem if Afro-Americans were just bad people who did drugs all of the time. However, the studies show that Blacks are not more likely to do drugs than Whites and that Whites and Blacks often do drugs at similar rates. So, why have Afro-Americans been affected so sharply by the “War on Drugs?”

The answer is that the laws have been written and enforced to be harsher when targeted to Afro-Americans. According to the book, more Whites use cocaine while more Blacks use crack due to the price. Those carrying 5 grams of crack were given a 5-year minimum sentence. While those carrying the same amount of cocaine, the same drug in a powder form, were given no minimum sentences.

The use of color-blindness or not making obvious that the laws are geared toward a specific ethnic group are what give the laws the power to continue to operate and to enslave Black males in the judicial system without suspect. This is what we define as institutional racism–Racism that is targeted to a group of people based on race without being easily suspect.

This is just one example of institutional racism in the criminal justice system. There have been many systems in this country that have implored and still do use institutional racism to oppress one group of people and uplift another. One of the most current examples would be the new requirements that Trump set out for immigrants to get a Visa. They have to take a test scoring a particular amount in I believe 3-4 different areas.

The areas required for them to score high in, make it nearly impossible for them to pass the test. This way the U.S. Does not have to say, “we don’t want you here because you are Hispanic or Arab.” They can simply say, “You just did not pass the test. You just did not meet the qualifications.” No one would suspect racism because of this, but it is another example of institutional racism. Also, out of the war on drugs, came more racial profiling and even grants given to municipal police departments for meeting drug arrest quotas, which were once again targeted at African Americans.

The book also addressed the awkward tightrope that Black leaders of influence have to walk. It was stated that Black leaders of influence have a lot at stake because they have to please the system that put them there and attempt to please their people in such a way that would not offend the already established system and get them totally booted out. I guess the below example would be a clear reflection of that argument.

In 2010, President Obama made the ratio for crack and cocaine 18:1. In other words, a person found carrying cocaine could now be sentenced for having 18% as much cocaine as someone found carrying crack instead of 100% as much. Even though the new ratio is better, it is still disproportionate.

White People and Black People should pay the same restitution for the same crimes. Grace should not only be shown to Whites but Blacks as well. The argument is waged that if White males filled the prisons due to drug laws the way that Black males have; the prison system would have been reformed.

Mass incarceration in this country, as well as some of the drug laws, re-enforce negative stereotypes about people of color namely Afro-American males. The color-blindness comes in because none of the laws address a particular Ethnic group per se, but the laws are specifically targeted to a specific ethnic group.

The book although, it gives a lot of information about the War on Drugs; covers a history of indentured slavery, chattel slavery, and the loss of manufacturing jobs that affected the stability of both Blacks and Whites. The use of racism is stated in the book as a tool to divide the working poor, so that poor Whites would see an advantage over poor Blacks through the idea of White superiority. The book is a compassionate look at our criminal justice system, stereotypes about African-American males, and various arguments.

Next week, we will address how to respond to racism, and what can be done to address mass incarceration and other racially motivated unjust systems.

Journey to 30: A Single Woman’s Guide to Living Unapologetically… (Book Review)

Journey to 30 is a book written by a brave young lady, Tatianah Green, who has been growing by leaps and bounds. Instead of holding to the negative stereotypes that plague women as we approach the age of thirty; She has chosen to shift perspectives from worldly expectations that only lead to frustration to God’s expectations that lead to security in Christ and fulfillment in God’s timing, purpose, and plan for our lives.

The book covers some of her personal journey up to the age of 30, and it also includes the interviews of 10 women in the book with one of the interviews including myself. My section discusses our relationship with God which is the foundation of who we are. I even share a story in the book about how thoughtful God is of us.

One day when I was going through in my mind and emotions wondering and asking God if I was doing something wrong because of the pain and trials I was experiencing as a single woman; my mentor called me right in the middle of the questioning, and without me mentioning what was going on she said to me, “ no, you are not doing anything wrong.” She encouraged me to stand firm in what God had given me even though things did not manifest for me yet.

Standing firm, bold, and unapologetically is just what  the book encourages single women to do. It encourages us not to be swayed by our personal clocks and timelines, but to trust in the Lord. It shares advice and testimony of women who have been sexually active, and decided to obey God and begin waiting, and what that looks like.

It even shares wisdom on taking care of ourselves physically, emotionally, and financially. The part that stood out to me the most was the interview with Felicia Houston. Felicia Houston is the owner of Anointed Wives Ministry. She shared how she was waiting into her thirties for her spouse. She spoke of the pressure that she felt from others questioning why no one courted or asked to marry her yet. She said she had to question where is this pressure coming from and why is it important.

She continued to stay focused, and wait on God and at age 34 she was blessed with a spouse. She shared wisdom of having proper expectations of marriage, and to hang around some married people to know what to expect. She had even taken a marriage prep class while she was super single so she would know what to expect. It made her more patient to wait for the right one. She realized that she was still selfish and unready for marriage.

I feel this book is a perfect answer to our generation as things are expected to happen so fast. Things that we expect right away such as the career, spouse, perfect business, house, or bank account. We often avoid the process and the nuggets of wisdom that we learn in the process. This book will help to settle that fast-paced impatient spirit that so often disappoints heavily when dreams aren’t realized in the expected time. This book will help to appreciate every part of the journey to 30 and beyond. It’s a journey to be enjoyed, not a race to be over and won or lost. Find out more about the Journey to 30 at Amazon. You can also follow Tatianah Green’s Blog BLISS (Black Love & Inspiration For Saved Singles)

Maintaining Humility & Thankfulness For Salvation:

Truths to Combat the Religious Spirit of Pride as it Relates to Salvation:

If anyone knows me, they know that I love to have a good conversation with others who share similar interests. Over the weekend, I was blessed to hang with some of my sisters in Christ. We attended a conference and went to lunch afterward. We sparked up a conversation about God’s grace which put me in the mind of some of the below tenants of the gospel that we must know if we are to be firmly rooted in Jesus Christ.

The nature of man-kind outside of Christ is sin:
In the beginning, God made the different creatures in creation with the command that every living thing was to produce after its own kind. That means that birds produce birds, cats produce cats, fish produce fish, and man-kind produces man-kind. We cannot deviate from the nature of our own kind.

However, because of the sin of Adam; the nature of man-kind has been subjected to sin. Thus, those born in the blood-line of Adam must die. Die to what? We are required to die to our sinful nature from the bloodline of Adam, and take on a new nature in Christ Jesus, who is called the last Adam.

Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord. – Romans 6:11

This reckoning is a mindset or way of thinking. It is no longer depending on the old way of doing things which is the natural sinful way, but on Jesus Christ whom we have been awakened unto. Again, coinciding with the sinful nature of man is the carnal mind which the Bible says is not subject to the laws of God neither can it be (Romans 8:7 ).

Other scriptures speak of the wickedness of the heart of man:

For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person, but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them. – Matthew 15:19-20

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? – Jeremiah 17:9

We cannot escape the above sin nature outside of Christ. We cannot wholly according to the standard of God do good works outside of Christ. All of this is done in Christ. We renew our minds in Christ by the washing of the water of God’s word (Ephesians 5:26).

The spirit of religion seeks to eliminate the need for Christ:
The only way to avoid fulfilling the works of the flesh is for us to walk in the Spirit of Christ, also known as the Holy Spirit. This is a daily process. It’s a process of consistent surrender to Christ and his word. We have to daily die to old ways of thinking to live unto Christ and to manifest the life of Christ to others. We do this again by renewing our minds with the Word of God in music, preaching, teaching, personal reading and study of God’s word.

For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. – 2 Corinthians 4:11

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. – Galatians 5:16

However, the spirit of religion which is rooted in pride and self-righteousness does not acknowledge Christ in that way. The spirit of religion seeks to eliminate the need for Christ. This is what the Pharisees and Sadducees did when Jesus walked the earth with them. They accused Jesus and his authority because they felt that their good works made them more qualified. They felt that they did not need Christ.

We know that we are being tempted to walk in a spirit of religion when we focus more on our works and our track record than Jesus Christ and his word.

This spirit of religion often operates in a spirit of pride and self-righteousness
It is easy to walk in pride after we have been saved for a while. We can easily forget that our righteousness is not of ourselves, but of Christ. At that point, we can begin to dishonor God’s grace.

We can dishonor God’s grace by rejecting it as our keeping power as if we keep ourselves from sin or we can choose to dishonor God’s grace by practicing sin expecting God to simply turn a blind eye toward our sin.

As Christians, we do have to make a choice to follow and obey God, but the opportunity to do so along with the empowerment to do so does not come aside from Jesus Christ.

God’s word says, “But as many as received him, to them gave he the power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name. – John 1:12

Jesus extends his grace to us so that we can believe in him. Once, we believe he empowers us to become his sons. This son-ship is a position from which we see ourselves as his. We no longer walk in fear of having to be perfect or of making honest mistakes, but we trust God’s word when it says if we sin we have an advocate with the father and he is faithful and just to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 2:1).  We trust that God is for us and we submit our wills to him in obedience knowing that he will empower us to do what we naturally cannot do.

This follows the same pattern that Ephesians speaks of when it says that salvation is through faith by grace so that no one would be able to boast. Because of this, there should be no boasting regarding salvation outside of giving glory to God. This salvation thing is through no goodness of our own. If we look at the Jews in the old testament, they got this part wrong after a while too. Many Jewish people thought that God chose them because they were somehow better than others, but the Bible clearly states that God chose Israel because they were small and needed to depend on him. In doing so, God would use the Jews to reveal himself to all man-kind. He also chose them because he loved them. 

This is much like how God saved us because he loves us. You know John 3:16. Whenever we forget that we are saved because of God’s goodness and grace; God is faithful enough to remind us by allowing circumstances that humble us and bring us to dependence on Christ. God uses everything to work together for our good.

We as believers are faced with the challenge of holding the right perspective and heart posture regarding this: The correct heart posture, I believe, would be the posture of thankfulness and humility knowing that without Jesus Christ we are nothing. To God be the glory!

[1] For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive. 1 Corinthians 15:22
[1] Because the mind of the flesh is hostile to God: It does not submit to God’s Law, nor can it do so. – Romans 8:7
[1] The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” – Romans 8:15
[1] The Lord did not love you and choose you because you were greater in number than any of the other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. 8 But because the Lord loves you and is keeping the oath which He swore to your fathers, the Lord has brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed (bought) you from the house of slavery, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt. – Deuteronomy 7:7-8