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Maintaining Humility & Thankfulness For Salvation:

Truths to Combat the Religious Spirit of Pride as it Relates to Salvation:

If anyone knows me, they know that I love to have a good conversation with others who share similar interests. Over the weekend, I was blessed to hang with some of my sisters in Christ. We attended a conference and went to lunch afterward. We sparked up a conversation about God’s grace which put me in the mind of some of the below tenants of the gospel that we must know if we are to be firmly rooted in Jesus Christ.

The nature of man-kind outside of Christ is sin:
In the beginning, God made the different creatures in creation with the command that every living thing was to produce after its own kind. That means that birds produce birds, cats produce cats, fish produce fish, and man-kind produces man-kind. We cannot deviate from the nature of our own kind.

However, because of the sin of Adam; the nature of man-kind has been subjected to sin. Thus, those born in the blood-line of Adam must die. Die to what? We are required to die to our sinful nature from the bloodline of Adam, and take on a new nature in Christ Jesus, who is called the last Adam.

Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord. – Romans 6:11

This reckoning is a mindset or way of thinking. It is no longer depending on the old way of doing things which is the natural sinful way, but on Jesus Christ whom we have been awakened unto. Again, coinciding with the sinful nature of man is the carnal mind which the Bible says is not subject to the laws of God neither can it be (Romans 8:7 ).

Other scriptures speak of the wickedness of the heart of man:

For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person, but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them. – Matthew 15:19-20

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? – Jeremiah 17:9

We cannot escape the above sin nature outside of Christ. We cannot wholly according to the standard of God do good works outside of Christ. All of this is done in Christ. We renew our minds in Christ by the washing of the water of God’s word (Ephesians 5:26).

The spirit of religion seeks to eliminate the need for Christ:
The only way to avoid fulfilling the works of the flesh is for us to walk in the Spirit of Christ, also known as the Holy Spirit. This is a daily process. It’s a process of consistent surrender to Christ and his word. We have to daily die to old ways of thinking to live unto Christ and to manifest the life of Christ to others. We do this again by renewing our minds with the Word of God in music, preaching, teaching, personal reading and study of God’s word.

For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. – 2 Corinthians 4:11

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. – Galatians 5:16

However, the spirit of religion which is rooted in pride and self-righteousness does not acknowledge Christ in that way. The spirit of religion seeks to eliminate the need for Christ. This is what the Pharisees and Sadducees did when Jesus walked the earth with them. They accused Jesus and his authority because they felt that their good works made them more qualified. They felt that they did not need Christ.

We know that we are being tempted to walk in a spirit of religion when we focus more on our works and our track record than Jesus Christ and his word.

This spirit of religion often operates in a spirit of pride and self-righteousness
It is easy to walk in pride after we have been saved for a while. We can easily forget that our righteousness is not of ourselves, but of Christ. At that point, we can begin to dishonor God’s grace.

We can dishonor God’s grace by rejecting it as our keeping power as if we keep ourselves from sin or we can choose to dishonor God’s grace by practicing sin expecting God to simply turn a blind eye toward our sin.

As Christians, we do have to make a choice to follow and obey God, but the opportunity to do so along with the empowerment to do so does not come aside from Jesus Christ.

God’s word says, “But as many as received him, to them gave he the power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name. – John 1:12

Jesus extends his grace to us so that we can believe in him. Once, we believe he empowers us to become his sons. This son-ship is a position from which we see ourselves as his. We no longer walk in fear of having to be perfect or of making honest mistakes, but we trust God’s word when it says if we sin we have an advocate with the father and he is faithful and just to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 2:1).  We trust that God is for us and we submit our wills to him in obedience knowing that he will empower us to do what we naturally cannot do.

This follows the same pattern that Ephesians speaks of when it says that salvation is through faith by grace so that no one would be able to boast. Because of this, there should be no boasting regarding salvation outside of giving glory to God. This salvation thing is through no goodness of our own. If we look at the Jews in the old testament, they got this part wrong after a while too. Many Jewish people thought that God chose them because they were somehow better than others, but the Bible clearly states that God chose Israel because they were small and needed to depend on him. In doing so, God would use the Jews to reveal himself to all man-kind. He also chose them because he loved them. 

This is much like how God saved us because he loves us. You know John 3:16. Whenever we forget that we are saved because of God’s goodness and grace; God is faithful enough to remind us by allowing circumstances that humble us and bring us to dependence on Christ. God uses everything to work together for our good.
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We as believers are faced with the challenge of holding the right perspective and heart posture regarding this: The correct heart posture, I believe, would be the posture of thankfulness and humility knowing that without Jesus Christ we are nothing. To God be the glory!

[1] For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive. 1 Corinthians 15:22
[1] Because the mind of the flesh is hostile to God: It does not submit to God’s Law, nor can it do so. – Romans 8:7
[1] The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” – Romans 8:15
[1] The Lord did not love you and choose you because you were greater in number than any of the other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. 8 But because the Lord loves you and is keeping the oath which He swore to your fathers, the Lord has brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed (bought) you from the house of slavery, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt. – Deuteronomy 7:7-8

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The Idea of Becoming Good Enough to Obtain a Spouse:

Aren’t you tired of all of the singles advice that tells women what is wrong with them instead of what is right with them? It’s almost fostered an attitude within several single women to make their goal perfection in order to be good enough to obtain a spouse.

I’ve noticed some of my sisters in Christ chasing one idea after the next to try to become good enough, whole enough, and perfect enough to have a husband. I genuinely do not believe this is the will of God. I believe this fosters a spirit of control and lack of trust in God.

Those who are viewed as experts are imperfect themselves. We are all actually imperfect, but we live for a God who loves us perfectly. Thus, his grace enables us to have what sometimes we feel we aren’t worthy to attain. God does require maturity of us to handle various things he has promised to us.

The maturity required will naturally come through abiding in Christ. When we abide in Christ, we do not seek him for what he can give us, but for who he is. Abiding in Christ requires seeking him through reading his word consistently, praying, fasting, and becoming sensitive to his voice.
His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3
I want to deflate the false idea in which I believe is a clear distraction from the enemy to make us feel as if we aren’t good enough, and once we become good enough then we can have a husband. No one receives a husband because they are good enough. All that we receive is by God’s grace through faith. This means that we cannot work for it.

We can, however, be positioned for our spouses. We are positioned for our spouses along with all of the promises of God through viewing ourselves the way God views us, responding to how God views us with love and genuine worship for him and remaining in him.

Viewing Ourselves The Way God Views Us:
We cannot work for the right to be loved. If that were the case, the love would not be genuine, but a contractual agreement. God’s word affirms that we are fully accepted and fully loved in Christ. God’s word affirms that we are worthy of the ultimate love which was manifest through Jesus Christ who loved us so much that he gave his life for us (John 3:16).
To the praise of the glory of His grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. – Ephesians 1:6 (KJV)
Similarly, we should not have to work for our husbands to love us. Our husbands should follow along the same lines of how Christ loves us, and that is unconditionally with our imperfections and all. Keeping this view before our eyes should dissolve every fear that says we aren’t worthy of love. As a matter of fact, God loved us while we were yet sinners, imperfect, and not having everything together.

Responding to God’s View of Us With Genuine Worship
We should have a genuine relationship with God, not based off of what we can get from him, such as a husband. Instead, we should live a life of genuine worship and intimacy with God in response to his love for us.
In view of God’s great mercy, I urge you, brothers and sisters, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Romans 12:1 (NIV)
Growing in the Grace & Knowledge of Jesus Christ Makes Us Mature & Able to Handle More:
Some stuff we can learn in a book, from a person, and so on, but other things we are going to have to go through and learn through remaining in Christ and allowing him to prune us. We don’t get pruned because we read the latest book, or went to the latest seminar.

We get pruned simply through abiding in Christ. Abiding in Christ is not trying to be perfect, it’s not trying to get it right every time, or trying to pattern our lives after the last girl who got her husband because she did steps 1, 2, and 3.

It’s simply abiding in him. It’s seeking him for no reason. It’s being careful to fear him, and to please him because we’ve learned to love him not for what he could give us, but simply because we’ve tasted and seen that he is good.

The idea of running after becoming some perfect woman to meet a perfect man has become an idol in the body of Christ. It has robbed many women of their rest in Christ. We can only receive the promises of God when we are resting our faith in God.

Let’s focus on running after God, and when we run after him we will become what we ought to be not just for marriage, but for every area of our lives. God’s glory should be made manifest in every area of our lives as singles and one day as married people.

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Let’s Count Our Blessings!

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. – James 1:2-4

The above scripture reminds us to count our blessings when going through not one, or two temptations, but many temptations, tests, and tribulations. Have you ever been in a season of many temptations?

If you have then you know it’s easy to have a wrong mindset. It’s way too easy to compare ourselves to others with a woe is me attitude instead of an attitude of gratefulness or thankfulness. Well, I am glad that the Word of God gives us one of the greatest tips that cause us to maintain the right perspective. That tip is to count our blessings. It’s to maintain a spirit and a mouth full of thankfulness.

Focusing on the goodness of God in our lives, and thanking God for what he has already done helps us to focus on God and to take our eyes off of our problems, tribulations, and temptations. Below, I list a few things that I am so thoroughly thankful for:

I’m thankful that I have more support to walk with me in seeking to honor God in my singleness!

This girl has been single for a long time. All during that time, I’ve had to be intentional about allowing into my inner circle those who were pursuing the Lord and the things of the Lord.

There have been seasons where it’s been harder than others to have someone encourage me to stay the course God has called me to. Now, I seem to have more people in my life encouraging me in that and it’s awesome. It has taken some of the stress away from feeling awkward and alone. I got a whole awkward crew to ride with because living for Jesus is awkward to some. We are a peculiar people.

I’m thankful that my mindset is not the same as it used to be!

I will admit that I’ve been that girl who has struggled with wrong thinking at times. More specifically because I had gone long periods of time without having a boyfriend or anyone I felt was worth going out with; I used to struggle hardcore with believing that I was worth being sought after, courted, and pursued. God allowed me to see that I am worth it, not just by faith, but by action. However, even then the one I thought was worthy of me and allowed to pursue me just wasn’t ready. It confirmed what I knew to be true, and that is I had been single all of this time because God was protecting me. He was not holding something back from me because I did not deserve it or because I am not good enough for it. I am thankful to have the right mindset.

I’m thankful I am not in the same place!

I am thankful that I am not in the same place as far as my thinking. Now that I have gotten several of my wrong perspectives corrected, I walk from a new and more solidified position of boldness in Christ Jesus. I am thankful that God used the trials of this life to correct my thinking and to make me stronger. There are so many women who stay in cycles of wrong thinking and because of that operate from a low-level of self-image. The low level of self-image causes these women to make the same poor choices over and over again, but the Lord has preserved me, and I am truly thankful.

I am thankful for rest!

Sometimes, we fell to realize that while God is doing great work in us through the trials and tribulations of life that there is a season of rest that takes place afterward. Just like in the natural when we go for a surgery or procedure. There is a season of rest for healing to fully take place. This is a place that God desires for us to reside in, and it is a place that I can say that I enjoy.

It doesn’t mean that life circumstances will not come up against me. It just means those circumstances cannot have my peace, nor my Biblical and sound perspective. I am thankful that I abide in a place of rest, and thus I can make healthy decisions from a place of rest.

I am thankful to still have a healthy expectation in the Lord after all I have been through!

Many give up on the Lord after not seeing things take place that they have wanted or expected within a certain time-frame. However, I’ve been blessed to desire the Lord above what he can give me. As a matter of fact, the things that I desire from him are a by-product of my intimate relationship with him. It was not my idea to desire to be married, but his:

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. – Psalms 37:4

I was just a regular girl with regular desires. I wanted a boyfriend when I was younger just for fun like others. I had no desire to live a consecrated life to the Lord for his glory. Neither would I have signed up for this on my own knowing the attacks that I would face, but God placed the desire within me as a result of seeking the Lord and delighting in him.

God chose to save me, and he sowed seeds of the Word of God into my heart. These seeds caused me to desire to seek him. As I sought him he began to place a desire in me more and more for his will. Because the Lord started this good work in me; I trust him to finish it (Philippians 1:6). Therefore I rest my expectation in the Lord. I am thoroughly impressed with what the Lord has done thus far and have an expectation for what he will continue to accomplish. I’m counting my blessings!

What are some of the things that God has done in your life? What are some blessings that you can begin to thank God for that will re-position your focus on the Goodness of The Lord rather than life circumstances? Please, feel free to share.

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Don’t Stop Seeking The Lord

This is an admonition to myself as much as anyone else. It is in our nature to stray away from seeking God when things are going well. There is a clear example seen in the life of King Asa. Asa was a king of Judah. He was one that God said did right in the eyes of the Lord.
 
He had been zealous for the Lord tearing down Asherah poles (poles representing a false god), and other places of idol worship during his time. He was so zealous that he even demoted his grandmother because she still worshipped Asherah, and he decreed it the law of the land that all residents of Judah were to worship the Lord the true and living God.
 
Because of his devout heart toward seeking the Lord, God gave him rest from all of his enemies for 35 years. For 35 years he did not have to fight any wars. However, during the 36th year, the Israelite army begin to prepare to go to war against Asa.
 
Asa, at that point, made an agreement with an army who became his ally. The agreement with the allying army caused the Israelite army to back off. After all of this had taken place, a prophet named Hanani came to Asa with the below message.

“Because you relied on the king of Aram and not on the Lord your God, the army of the king of Aram has escaped from your hand. Were not the Cushites and Libyans a mighty army with great numbers of chariots and horsemen? Yet when you relied on the Lord, he delivered them into your hand. For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. You have done a foolish thing, and from now on you will be at war.” –  2 Chronicles 16:7-9 

Asa became so angry at the prophet that he placed him in jail. According to the word of the Lord he had to endure war throughout the remaining of his reign. He also ended up with a foot disease.

What is the point of this all? The point is that we need to remember to seek the Lord. We need to be consistently in the practice of seeking the Lord first. This should be our daily habit. Asa had an extensive time-frame where everything was going well, and somehow that time frame tempted him not to seek the Lord anymore.

Once, he became content not seeking the Lord he started to exhibit traits that were not in line with the Lord such as jailing a prophet for speaking God’s heart. The more we seek the Lord, the more we become like him and exhibit his characteristics rather than our own fleshly characteristics.

The opposite becomes true when we do not seek the Lord. We in turn exhibit ungodly and worldly characteristics.  We need to be careful not to walk in pride and simply ride the tide of good times with the Lord, but we need to remember to maintain a consistency of seeking God. In doing so, we will be well equipped for those bad times that sometimes catch us by surprise. We will also continue to make room in our lives to continually see the glory of the Lord displayed within our lives personally. That is what God wanted to do with King Asa, and that is what God wants to do with us.

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The Intimidation of A Woman of Standard:

An Honest Conversation on the Intimidation of a Woman of Standard

Recently, I watched the season finale of “Growing Up Hip-Hop.” It is a show starring Romeo Miller, Master P’s son, Angela Simmons, Reverend Run’s daughter, and many other music industry young
people.
 
It was interesting to watch the development of Angela, who represented abstinence until marriage for a while until meeting a man that she became engaged to and had her first child with. One could only wonder if all of the pressure that a woman of standard deals with got to Angela influencing her
decision to go ahead and give in.
 
The season finale of Season 3 showed Little Bow Wow, who Angela had some sort of dating
​relationship with in the past. He asked Angela questions alluding to the idea that he believed she was settling with her current fiance’.
 
Could Bow Wow’s thought be true? Could Angela have been influenced by the pressure that often
causes fears and poor choices to come to the surface in a woman of standard? Just in case my readers are dealing with similar issues, I’ve compiled a brief list of things women of standard deal with and
​how to handle them properly while we go through them.
 
Fear of Being Alone:
 
One of the fears that women of God deal with is the fear of being alone. Women of standard often
hear things like what Bow Wow shared with Angela on their reunion lunch. He used an analogy
​telling her that he always used to tell her when they talked in the past that she needed to open her
FedEx box. How many women of standard have heard the same things, and felt that it could possibly be true after being passed up and looked over so many times because of not giving it up.
 
I would encourage those women to change their perspectives and to view the men passing them up as protection from God instead of rejection because of God’s standard in their lives. A woman in those
​shoes allows herself to be preserved for a man who will honor and respect her for her standard instead of put her down for it.

The Challenge of a Woman of Standard is Too Much for Some Men:
Bow Wow went on to share with Angela that no one would want to marry her without sampling her
FedEx box. He went on saying, “that stuff is hard not having sex until marriage.” It isn’t something
that many men can fathom themselves complying with for any length of time to pursue a girl and get the goods later after marriage. It makes some men feel as though they have to be perfect, serious,
devout, and if they are not then it isn’t worth trying. So, the girl again gets passed up.

This is where women of standard have to continue to stand unwavering because her standard is taking her somewhere. Her standard is separating the men from the boys for her, and reserving her only for
the men.

A few things: Women naturally mature quicker than boys. We grow taller earlier and such by nature.
In many cases, this is true when it comes to development in other ways such as socially, and
spiritually in general. This means that there has to be a level of patience within a woman of standard
to be able to forbear in whatever state she is in rather waiting on a mature man of God as she
continues to develop with God or in a marriage. While the woman waits she has to remain secure in
​her worth.

Distracting Ourselves from the Pain:
Being honest, there will be some pain when a woman of God has a standard. Everyone will not agree nor understand our standard, but we still will need to maintain it. One of the ways that we can
continue to do so is to distract ourselves from the pain of loneliness, misunderstanding, and feeling
rejected. If our pain is not properly dealt with it can produce negative emotions that cause us to make poor choices and to end up dealing with things such as condemnation instead of the love and
redemptive power of Christ within us.

Give your burdens, negative thoughts and emotions to the Lord in prayer. Exchange them for what
God says about you. Surround yourself with those who agree with God’s plan for your life, and limit your dealings with those who do not. Be willing to endure whatever hardships the Lord allows
keeping a praise in your heart and on your lips for what God is doing within you. Any suffering
​endured will only produce more character within you

“And not only this but [with joy] let us exult in our sufferings and rejoice in our hardships, knowing
that hardship (distress, pressure, trouble) produces patient endurance;  and endurance, proven
character (spiritual maturity); and proven character, hope and confident assurance [of eternal
salvation].  Such hope [in God’s promises] never disappoints us, because God’s love has been
abundantly poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” 
Romans 5:3-4

Continue to enjoy your life, and whatever you do, do not settle for anything below the standard God
​has set for you in his word. Allow God to constantly change and secure your perspectives as he heals you from the wounds incurred along the way.

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Don’t Allow Covetousness to Prevent you from Enjoying Your Life

DEALING WITH COVETOUSNESS

WHAT IS COVETOUSNESS:

Covetousness is defined as “eagerly desirous of possessions. (dictionary.com)” This is almost an anxiety or unrest concerning what we desire. It is also defined as “inordinately or wrongly desirous of wealth or possessions; greedy.” Meaning, there is a right way and a wrong way to desire things, and the covetous way is the wrong way.

Covetousness almost always leads to a spirit of in-contentment, and unthankfulness for what we have because we are focusing on what others have.

COVETOUSNESS EASILY SEEPS IN AND STEALS OUR CONTENTMENT.

We could be coasting along life just fine and content, and all it takes is a scroll of the social media news-feed to take our attention off of the joy that we have in Christ to what we feel we are missing. However, before the click of the mouse, we did not feel like we were missing anything. Covetousness and in-contentment normally have its roots in what we are focusing on.

This is why the Bible makes important the point of what we allow our eyes to focus on by saying the below:​

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness.” Matthew 6:22

In other words, we will go in the direction of what we choose to focus on. If we focus on healthy things we will be healthy. If we focus on unhealthy things, we will begin to manifest deception, darkness, and confusion. Deception, darkness, and confusion are the things that cause us to stumble.

WHAT CAN WE DO TO STOP IT?
​
We can get a guard for our eyes. Meaning, intentionally choosing not to focus on the things that will cause us to compare ourselves to others, or to desire what others have. This can mean unfollowing or blocking people on social media.

When we shift our focus off of what it isn’t currently our season to have right now; we are better able to enjoy life. For example, as a single woman, it isn’t my season to be sexually active. Therefore, I am specific with setting parameters against certain television shows, movies, or songs that may cause me to become anxious for a season of marital love-making.

We can also become thankful for what we do have. There are going to be some things in our lives that we get to enjoy that other’s that we may be covetous toward will not be able to enjoy. For example, I have the luxury of much peace and quiet because I live alone.

Whereas, a married person with a house full of kids or a spouse has to bargain for personal quiet time. Being thankful for what we have allows us to enjoy our current season. It helps us to avoid the “what about me?” attitude that comes up when we compare our lives to others.

Covetousness always produces distracting questions that work to get our thinking off track. When our thinking is off track; our actions will be off track.

Finally, during our personal prayer time, we can pray specifically for those that we may be tempted to be covetous toward. I often pray for exes and those that I am tempted to be covetous of when they come to mind. I do not pray according to the flesh, but according to the love of God in my heart toward them and God’s word. This helps to alleviate any awkward feeling toward them I may be tempted to have, and it is also a Biblical principal that protects our heart.

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; – Matthew 5:44

This helps especially in the scenarios where someone may have done us wrong and were blessed with something that we wanted instead of seeming to pay a penalty for doing us wrong.

Scenarios like the above can be very easy temptations for us to become covetous and begin to compare ourselves, but God gives us wisdom, so we do not have to get caught up in the snares set before us. Don’t allow the trap of covetousness to derail your life. Be intentional on what you allow yourself to focus on. Be thankful, and pray for all men including those who have offended you.

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You Got This!

Maintaining Your Joy While Still Waiting on The Lord:

I was at an ALDI walking up to the door as I noticed two young boys. One was holding on to a huge bottle of Hawaiian Punch, and the other a gallon of milk. They looked like they were struggling a bit to hold up their grocery items. As I approached, I said to them, “Yall so strong. Look at you!” Those little kids perked up with smiles on their faces and held their items with vigor and pride as they waited on their mother, who was removing another baby from the cart and getting her quarter back. They felt like little men. That was the two boys, “You got this moment!”

That little story reminds me of how life can be sometimes waiting on the Lord. We can be struggling with our current circumstance—things like loneliness, tiredness, upset, or impatience. We’ve waited. We’ve endured. We’ve even endured much pain, and sometimes we need just a little jolt from someone walking across our path to remind us that we got this.

This actually happened to me this past week. I received a text from a close friend of mine who is currently pregnant. She was complaining about her headaches and how she felt as though she had a bowling ball in her stomach. Thus, she was not getting much sleep. I texted her back to see if there were any exercises that she could do to alleviate the pain. She shared there was, but she had to stop doing them due to the headaches.

She described a time when having a baby did not seem like such a strenuous deal to her when we were back in college together. She said it could be that now that she has not been around others much and isn’t as busy as she was in college; that the isolation is causing her to focus more on the pain.

I responded with a wow! I shared how I’d recently felt isolated and it was causing me to begin to go through again. I shared with her that she was not the only one, but that there were others of my bros and sis’ in Christ who I’ve talked with that were struggling with isolation and pain. I continued to encourage her sharing that at least she knows that at the end of her pain she will have joy.
“At the End of This Pain, You Will Have Joy.”
I continued to share the above quote as I encouraged her and thought about how her story would end; I was too encouraged to know that I was not alone and that I’d have joy at the end of my waiting on the Lord and enduring painful isolation or feelings of loneliness at times.
“A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come, but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. – John 16:21”

“There is an end time set to your pain.”
My friend continued to flip how she felt from complaining and focusing on her pain and discomfort to joy. She shared saying, “You know I do feel joy when the baby kicks.” By the end of the conversation, we both were encouraged and feeling like we could handle what life had been throwing our way.

Isn’t that ironic that out of the blue, my friend would text me on a day where I was feeling down, and all of a sudden, we both were encouraged? That was my “You got this!” moment. All it took was a little shift of encouragement to change my thinking from focusing on the pain and loneliness to the fact that God is preparing me to give birth to something in my life that will bring me joy. What are some of the ways God has used others to encourage you during your moments of feeling down and waiting on the Lord?

You got this! You can go on. You can make it until the end. You will see the promises of God come to pass. You got this!

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I Dodged A Bullet On That One

A few years back, I shared a story on how I met a brother at a unisex hair salon, who was pursuing me really hardcore. He was a really nice guy with some affiliation to church and he knew a few scriptures. As we talked, I sought godly counsel among my mentors, as well as the Lord. I asked God what he thought about the guy.

God responded in a dream as he often does, showing me that the brother was dangerous. More specifically, God showed me that he was dangerous because he walked hard after his flesh playing with lust which produced in him unbridled and un-submitted passions to walk after lust. Furthermore, the lust that was in this man begin to come out in conversation with him. Not only that, but the lust caused an inability to commit to pursuing one woman at a time. Thus, while he was in pursuit of me, he was also in pursuit of others.

One of my brothers in the Lord at the time shared how things would only get worse and not better if I were to allow a brother like that access into my life on a more intimate level such as marriage. He was right. Because I was not physical with the brother, I had enough clarity to pay attention to all of these signs and cut him off. Fast-forward a few years later, and he has had his first child. Children are a blessing from God, but there is a way that I would like to have children and that is with my husband. I do not want to volunteer to be a single mother.

Thankfully, I dodged that bullet. That could have been me as a single mom. I could have had a child with this guy who would have only been content to have sex with me and not to love, cover, and protect, or to encourage me in the Lord and life, and finally marry me. By God’s grace and wisdom, I did not have to bite that bullet. What can we learn from the above story?
Good choices in who we choose to associate with can save us lots of heartaches.

The scripture teaches us, “bad company corrupts good character.” In other words, we could have been on the right path, but one wrong choice in an association can turn us in a completely different direction. We often teach this to young people, but it applies just as much to adults. Just because we are adults does not mean that we can just do what it is that we want to do. We have to submit to the wisdom of God. Because of my choice to disassociate myself with the brother, I was able to maintain my godly standard.
Our intimacy with God is the most important thing that we have.

This is very important because it was my intimate connection with the Lord that revealed things about the brother that I could not yet see. It caused me to be more cautious and for good reason because God said so. I want to interject here that the byproduct of walking in purity is undistracted intimacy with God. That is knowing God on a close level. Thus, I do not practice purity to walk in religious pride and to lord myself above others as if I have it all together.

Nor do I seek to adhere to laws that God has not required to have an appearance of purity like some of my brothers and sisters in Christ do. I’ve experienced brothers and sisters in Christ trying to correct me for complimenting a brother among women on natural things such as attraction or manliness when this is natural affection. Holiness and purity do not require us as women to give up natural affection. It requires us to surrender our affections and passions unto the obedience of Christ. This is a heart posture toward the Lord.

“Who may ascend the mountain of the LORD? Who may stand in his holy place? The one who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not trust in an idol or swear by a false god.“ – Psalms 24:3-4
Keeping our standard up as women of God will be a major battleground to be a successful single woman.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been attacked by not worldly people, but church folks on maintaining my God-given standard. However, I’ve gotten to the point where I no longer care about those who do not understand my stance. This standard has done what it was supposed to do and that is to keep me from getting involved with the wrong men who do not share my same values and to preserve me for the right man who does share my same values.

I attended a discussion on relationships last night at my church and my pastor shared that the standard that his wife had is what drew him to her. He had never seen that before and he wanted her because of it. In reality, I believe that many sold out Christian men and women want the same thing and that is a place to feel safe, secure, and at rest. When we meet someone who shares our same values it produces that place of security that we have longed for. However, we will not be able to see this within one another unless we maintain our standard.

Godly Counsel is our protection.
Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors, there is safety. – Proverbs 11:14 (KJV)
Thankfully, I have two older and wiser married women in my life who I can call when I need counsel. As I was developing into a more mature woman, I called one of them quite a bit. However, I appreciate the fact that God gifted me with them to correct me if I am wishy-washy, for example, if I am considering going back to a guy who clearly isn’t good for me because he simply wanted me.

There used to be a time in my life where I was so tired of the rejection that I had to go through as a single woman of God that I’d sometimes consider thoughts of going with whoever pursued me, but of course I could not do that because it was not who I am, and my godly counsel would remind me of that.

The truth is living a life of consecration to the Lord, and desiring to please him in every area of our lives including relationships, can be hard. It can get cold and lonely waiting for someone who shares the same values as us. However, it is all worth it. When we look back and see what God has preserved us from, it should also encourage us to know that he has also preserved us to something as well. That something will be a life-long covenant with someone who has also been set aside by God for His glory. That is what this is all about which is God getting the glory out of our lives. Sometimes, it requires us to go through the bad times, or disappointing times before we reach the good times, but good times are coming.

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3 Ways Singles Can Combat Anxiety:

I had just gotten back from a bomb conference in Atlanta last week where I worshiped God with no limits. I was having a great time. However, before the conference was over I had met two fine brothers. One of them, I had seen before and had small talk with, the other I met for the first time. One of the brothers asked for my number and the other was extra friendly.

The brother who asked for my number was not a participant in the men’s conference, which was going on concurrently with the conference I signed up for. Nor was the brother who asked for my number a vendor at the event. He was at the neighboring hotel where I went for breakfast. Therefore, I shared with him how I felt more comfortable adding him to social media. You know, so I can see what type of stuff he is into from his page and if he is already posting about God before meeting me.

It has been a few days, and the brother has not added me yet on social media, but he does have my card with my information. I could feel myself being tempted to become anxious. You know how it works as a Chi-town girl. I don’t meet very many brothers who are genuinely interested in me, so it is extremely few and far in between when I meet a guy who seems interested.

Because of the lack of guy’s interested, it can easily become a temptation for me to get anxious and nervous when a guy is. It’s almost like I just want something to work out so I won’t have to go through hoping and being let down again. This is where I have to apply the anxiety principal found in the below scripture.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and mind through Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7
Over the last few years, the Lord had been solidifying my trust in him especially as it relates to him supplying the need of a man suitable for me. I have been in a wonderful place of rest and trust in the Lord, and this is where I intend to stay. Anxiety is a thief of rest. Anxiety creeps up on us causing us to make poor choices out of desperation and lack. Anxiety causes us to take our eyes off of Jesus Christ and to place them on our need, lack, emotions or feelings. This is something that we have to be careful of. This is something that we have to continue to give over to God. This is something that we have to combat with prayer.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)
I can say that by God’s grace, I have not given into anxiety, but through prayer and honesty with God; I remain in a place of rest. Just to recap, the things to do to combat anxiety are:

1.) Give our fears and anxieties over to God in prayer.
2.) Choose not to focus on fear, anxieties, or lack.
3.) Instead, focus on things that are good and that edify.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. Philippians 4:8
Everything is in the scriptures right there in Philippians to keep us victorious over anxiety. I flipped those anxious thoughts into positive thoughts really quick thinking to myself that the fact that the gentlemen were interested in me was simply a reminder of how beautiful, desirable, and worthy that I truly am. I am the prize who is worthy of an appropriate suitor’s pursuit, and I rest in the fact that God has the right one for me who will be revealed in due time.

What do you do in times of being tempted to become anxious regarding something God has promised you, yet it has not manifested yet? Please, share in the comments below.

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It Takes Someone of A Different Spirit:

It’s Going to Take Those of A Different Spirit to Go Where Others Aren’t Willing to Allow Themselves to Be Qualified by God to Go
Have you ever been in a situation where you had faith to go through some seemingly extra strenuous stuff and others looked at you and said it doesn’t take all of that? Have people tried to dissuade you from going the strait and narrow path that God called you to for an easier path, but you decided to take the seemingly harder way anyway because God was there with you. It truly takes someone of another spirit to push pass the push back and walk strait on into the path and promises of God despite the challenges presented.

Caleb was of a different spirit. Why? Because he was willing to go through the hard things to get to the promise of God. Moses was commanded of the Lord to send out spies to scout the land of Canaan. Canaan was a land that God had promised to his people Israel whom he had just delivered out of the land of Egypt (Numbers 13).

A man from each tribe of Israel was chosen to go out and come back and give a report unto Moses and the people about the land and whether they thought that the Hebrews could possess the land or not. Only one man came back with a positive report stating that they indeed could possess the land. That man’s name was Caleb.

All the others thought it too hard to possess the land God had promised them. They said there are giants in the land. They said the descendants of Esau are in the land. The descendants of Esau were Jacob’s children and Esau and Jacob had beef at one point and time. All of these things mentioned by the eleven spies made it appear impossible to inherit God’s promise of the land of Canaan. This provoked the below response from God.
“Surely, they shall not see the land which I swore unto their fathers, neither shall any of them that provoked me see it. But my servant Caleb, because he had another spirit with him, and hath followed me fully, him will I bring into the land where into he went and his seed shall possess it. – Numbers 14:24”
​Caleb operated out of a spirit of faith. He was settled within himself at what God had done previously and what God could now do. He rested his trust firmly in the Lord. This is what caused him to think differently. While the other Israelites thought on the problem; Caleb thought on his God and his God’s ability. Where is your focus in this moment? Are you someone who is of a different spirit?

There are some who have decided to no longer endure God’s process because it has become too hard in their eyes to trust God despite what the circumstances look like. It was easier to that person to accept a replica of the promise, something that would not present such a challenge as to require faith rather than to go through the pushes and pulls of life that expand our faith and place us at the door of God’s promise.

People who quit the process will tell others it doesn’t take all of that. They will say they don’t need the promised land of milk and honey. A little government cheese will do. They will say like some of the Israelites, let’s go back to Egypt. Let’s go back to bondage. At least then, we knew what to expect.

When those in your life tell you that it doesn’t take all of that; just tell them, you, like Caleb, are of a different spirit. Keep Going!

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