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3 Ways You Will Know if You’ve Met The One – Part I

​Proverbs 10:22 – The Blessing of the Lord makes rich and adds no sorrow with it.

This means there will be a particular grace that provides an ease of abiding within the blessing that comes from the Lord. That doesn’t mean it will be easy all of the time, and there will be no opposition. It simply means, you will be empowered to overcome those things with a particular grace that comes from God.

When we attempt to operate outside of God’s grace; we do relationships in our own strength. If we commit to doing relationships in our own strength, we become responsible to hold it together ourselves without God’s help. In essence, we do not give God any room to work.

We cannot even live a Christian life without God’s grace. Because relationships are a metaphorical picture of Christ and the church; when we look at our relationship with God; we can see that it was impossible for men to live a life pleasing to God without the grace that came from Jesus Christ.

Is God’s Grace Over The Relationship?
 
Many times relationships fell because we move outside of God’s grace. His supernatural ability that allows an ease in doing a thing because God has ordained it.

What does that mean? Should we not talk to a person if everything is not easy. Not at all. You should walk by faith.

By all means if you believe a person may be worth investing in, do all of the stuff that we should do such as seeking God, talking to a person and discerning their purpose and direction in life and whether it is complementary to who you are or not along with the guidance of godly counsel and accountability.

Do You Have God’s Peace in your dealings with the suitor?

If you do not have God’s total peace about a situation, it more than likely isn’t God. Obey God quickly. Don’t wait until you get attached because you are lying to yourself and/or making excuses why you should be with someone anyway. God sees what we do not see, and he is often protecting us from what we don’t know.

Don’t try to make something work that you know is not God. That is when we begin to operate outside of God’s grace. Again, when we operate outside of God’s grace, we become responsible to try to make things work on our own and we end up in shipwreck.

Many of us have tried to make things work on our own instead of submitting to what God has for us in a particular season. When we try to force a relationship outside of God’s grace and timing, it is often due to insecurities within us.

Next week we will close this out with the 3rd way you will know if you’ve met the one as we discuss how you see yourself.

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Why Do Women of God Compromise With Ungodly Guys?

Last week, I published an interview with an author, writer, and speaker Derek Q. Sanders. During the course of our interview, we stumbled into another discussion of why do women of God go for the ungodly men.

I presented some of the ideas that I am familiar with and have been tempted with to go for ungodly men, not to justify the reasoning, but to give greater insight as to what is going on out here.

My Answers to this Question

I shared that many women go for the ungodly men because those are the men who pursue women of God. Many women do not experience men of God pursuing them. To the point of a woman’s self-worth causing her to go for ungodly men, I agreed that this is true, but that women of God are often broken down.

It is a fight to do things God’s way, and sometimes women get tired of fighting. Women have to fight the ideas from their families that something is wrong with them for being single for long periods of time. We have to fight the idea from the church that there is something wrong with us for being single for long periods of time, and we have to fight ourselves and our biological clocks. Many women would rather give in to a good guy who comes along even though he isn’t where he should be, and so some women do.

I also brought up an additional question to this point. Could a woman’s weakness in this area be equated with the idea that the Bible speaks about as far as women being the weaker vessel? Could it be that we are the weaker vessel because of the desire that we have to be covered by a man which in short that means to be loved, sought after, and protected?

​The Bible did pronounce the below judgment on women after the fall in the garden of Eden:

To the woman he said, I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in sorrow, you shall bring forth children, and your desire shall be to your husband, and he shall rule over you. – Genesis 3:16

It seems that we can have a great desire as a woman to have a husband because of what a husband is expected to provide as mentioned above. Derek’s response was that ungodly men do not cover women, but they do to an extent. They do not cover women Biblically speaking, but according to the flesh many good men cover women by checking up on her, telling her she is beautiful, and providing for her.

Many women do not pass the test of passing up on a good guy for a godly guy because they consider the good guy better than nothing at all. Many women of God view the barely saved good guy or the ungodly good guy as the best that they have seen according to what we have been taught Biblically to expect from a man. 

Even further, in many cases, women of God are put down for carrying the standard that God has set for them to expect from a man. Women of God deal with a lot of pressure that says our standard is too high for a man of God and thus we should settle for someone instead of being picky.

Of course, Derek felt that the main reason women accepted and got with ungodly men is that their esteem was just simply low. However, there are times in all of our lives where our esteem may get low because life will break us down. However, we still have a choice, and despite the many pressures we do not have to give in to settling for less than God has for us. I shared that had it not been for the grace of God strengthening me and providing godly community in the form of males in my life who told me, “that’s not it. You’re worth more. You need someone more mature.” I would have settled with a good guy who was not where he should be in Christ as well.
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What should a woman do in this position?

She can do what I did when I was broken down and felt I had no strength to hold on to God’s way any further. I was first willing to die meaning if this is the life God has for me to consistently fight until I give out and die, then I would rather die than to do things outside of God’s way.

Two, I prayed and asked God to bring godly male accountability into my life. God delivered my little brother and set him on fire for God during that time. God told me specifically that he would help me out. God also sent another friend into my life who tells me when he feels I am settling. 

This particular brotha and I talk about some of everything because he is very mature. I have many mature men and women around me whereas before I did not. Previously, I felt as though I was fighting on my own. Waiting on God for a godly spouse to compliment us is not something that we can do on our own. It has to be done in community where we are protected because we are valuable to God.

Listen to the brief discussion between Derek & I below on women of God compromising. Also, what did you get from the discussion? Please, share in the comments below?

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Manhood Series Part IV: What Does it Mean to Be the Head?

What Does it Mean for a Man to be the Head?

This article is a quick snapshot of an interview with Author, Speaker, Blogger, and Certified Relationship Coach Derek Q. Sanders. The interview in its entirety is in a link below. Also, more information can be found on his books, “Outdated Rethinking how Men Date Women and Ladies’ Little Black Book” on his website at www.derekqsanders.com.

Derek noted a problem that women have with submission is that the woman’s part is normally taught, but the man’s responsibility is not covered. He brings out the point that a man does not have a right to expect a woman to submit to him who isn’t married to him.

Headship means a man is responsible. A man is responsible for making sure things are as they should be. For example, in the garden of Eden when both the man and woman fell, God did not ask Eve where she was. He asked Adam where he was because the man is primarily responsible for the direction of his household. He has to make sure that everything is as it should be whether things are going good or bad. It does not mean that the woman is a slave or has no say-so, but simply the man holds the primary responsibility.

When Asked how Can a Man Prepare Himself for Such A Great Responsibility
Men should be accountable to other great men. It is not a woman’s responsibility to train a man into being a man. The only woman that may teach a man that is his mother. Men should seek out other men who can provide them with godly counsel. Women make excuses for men who aren’t yet fit to lead, but that does not change the fact that he is unfit.

A woman should leave that brotha alone until he grows into a responsible man. Women say that they are nurturers and because of that, they nurture adult men. Men do not need to be nurtured; they need to be supported.

The time that a man decides he wants to be in a relationship with a woman; he becomes responsible to learn how to be a man whether he received this from his father or not. He will have to be intentional about seeking this out.

What would you say to the brothas who have the idea that preparing for marriage is all about getting money, a house, and a car and being prepared to order a woman around?

First, only a certain amount of men have that mindset. Furthermore, only a certain type of a man deserves the title of a man. These are men who have reached a certain standard. Other men are males. Men who have this mindset of thinking are simply males and not men yet.

What does it actually look like for a man to cover a woman?
That would simply come under headship. It falls under just being a man. As a man, it should be innate within men to protect a woman. Men have to treat women delicately because women are the weaker vessel. Within this culture, we’ve gotten so far away from the distinction of what defines a man. There are crazy ideas of what a man is on television and social media and such.

To Misconceptions of Manhood
Many men when asked the question, “when did you become a man” respond by saying things like when they received their first job, or when they had sex. They see manhood as a rite of passage earned by sex with a woman or driving a car. Because many men have not been taught; they equate their manhood with using a woman for sex or conquering her for sex.
Because of this, many men feel as though if they can get stuff from a woman, sex, food, cleaning then they are a man. Many women agree with this idea of manhood and will judge a good guy harshly.

He gave an example of a brotha who was operating out of a similar mindset until he began attending a Bible study that focused on Biblical manhood. Afterward, the brotha did a total 180. He shared with Derek that he was operating out of the mindset of misconceptions because that was the only knowledge he had at the time.

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Manhood Series Part III: Common Misconceptions of Manhood & Being The Head

Biblically speaking, it is obvious that the man is to be the head of his household once married, but what does that actually mean? I interviewed a man and his interview will be coming up next week to share just what being the head means Biblically. In the meantime, I will respond to some of the common misconceptions about being a man or being the head as it relates to men addressing women.

Control
Because many men aren’t trained on how to be the head, control seems to be a default misconception for many men.  Control is the idea that women need to be put in their place, or forced to submit instead of being drawn into submission through love and respect.

A woman is wooed by love and kindness. This cannot be superficial. It has to be real. Real love requires a mutual respect. There cannot be a mindset of control or dominance over her. The Bible is clear that both man and woman together are to have dominion over the earth.

Husbands and wives are supposed to submit to one another.
This mutual submission implies a mutual respect that sets the tone for the woman to submit to the man. Mutual respect says I value your opinion, wisdom, insight, and all that you have to offer. Mutual respect says I respect you as a whole person––that is mind, emotions, and will, not just for the physical features.

When a man loves a woman wholly meaning not just to be a trophy to make him look good according to the flesh, but for all that she brings to the table, that woman will open up and share everything she has with that man. She will at that point willingly submit because she is impressed by the brotha’s genuineness to love her instead of attempt to use her and discard her.

Remember that the man is the one who sets the structure for how the relationship will go. The woman responds to it. In response to God’s love, we were drawn to God through Christ. In response to God’s love for us, we submit our bodies to God a living sacrifice exclusive and acceptable unto God. Isn’t this what you want as a man? That is the example that Jesus set for himself and his bride, the church. A man in interacting with his woman should follow the same example.

If you have to manipulate and control a woman into wanting to be with you or doing what you say; you set the tone for her to respond just as manipulative and controlling as you have been.

The Man’s Ability to Make Money
I covered this one in another blog series. It is important for a man to provide for his family, and I am not diminishing that role, but simply providing financially only is not enough. Being a man means to be responsible for. That means that the man will be held responsible for his household. The man will have to not only provide financially for his family, but he will need to provide spiritual guidance, wisdom, direction, and in short be there for his household. This requires communication, understanding, and consistent growth. There has to be a humility in a man to continue to learn and grow so that he is able to handle all of the responsibility given to him as a man.

Worshipping the man above God
Some men expect women to give up their devotion to God, and replace that with devotion only to him as the man. Some men seem to think that God should hold a temporary place of affection in a woman’s heart until he shows up. Yes, even men who label themselves Christian and attend church consistently hold this view.

Please, know that the opposite of this view is not imbalance. Keeping God first in our lives does not mean that we will be having prayer instead of fixing breakfast for our hungry family, or running to conferences while our houses are in disarray or shouting instead of making love to our husbands. Keeping God first is a heart condition. It is a character trait and a way of life.

It simply means not intentionally going against the commands of God. This actually works to the benefit of a man of God because a woman who does this has good character and will most likely be loyal. When a woman relinquishes her identity in Christ to become whatever her new god, the man says, that is a dangerous situation. Any woman who allows this is not whole. A person who isn’t whole can become capable of nearly any type of behavior. Prepare for problems if this is your relationship.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God–this is your true and proper worship. – Romans 12:1 (Here, we as the body of Christ, respond to God’s mercy and love).

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” – Genesis 1:26

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Manhood Series Part II: Ignoring Your Weakness While Only Focusing on Your Strength

Many men overcompensate their time and investment in their strengths while simply ignoring their weaknesses. This is done because many men feel vulnerable when it comes to dealing with their weaknesses. It makes him feel less of a man. For example, if a man never learned how to cover a woman emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, he will leave her open for attack, but he will cover her in the area where he feels strong which often is the area of providing money.

Of course, when a man ignores his weakness in this way it drives a wedge between himself, his wife, and children if he has kids. This is unhealthy and breaks up many would be healthy marriages. How can a man overcome these things?

Learn to lean. 
A man will have to have a safe place where he can let his guard down and put off the, “I’m impressing a woman man mask” to become strong as a man, and be covered himself. This is the blessing of men fellowshipping with other godly men. They can sharpen one another without judgment and feeling as though they have to impress someone. The reality is men will need to learn to lean.

They will have to lean into God through that intimate relationship with God, and they will have to learn to lean into their brothers and fathers in Christ. They will have to learn to lean into a willingness to be corrected, and a personal commitment not to stay in the same place, but to grow. This is what will help a man with his weaknesses not ignoring them. If a man ignores his weakness, it will only get worse, and he is the head so others are looking to him to lead. A leader has to always be willing to expand and grow so as not to cause those who follow him to become stuck and stagnant.

Leaning sometimes requires vulnerability. 
Men are expected to be strong. There is a greater expectation placed on men for knowledge, wisdom, and support and less of a grace margin for error. Because of the pressure and pride in some cases,  many men have learned to stay locked up not sharing pertinent information with others who can help them. This hard exterior that lets no one in will have to be broken. Pray that God leads you to those male friends whom you can trust. Seek out godly men such as The Man Cave Network. This is a network through Cornelius Lindsey where there are chapters all across the country to encourage men. Also, see if there are local churches with men ministries. Click get connected to sign up for a chapter.

As a man learns to be strong in his areas of weakness, his wife’s love and respect level will shoot through the roof if he does have a good woman. She will naturally become more attracted to him, and the relationship will be stronger. Men of God never underestimate the power you have as a man to build, cover, and protect your family. The truth is when you cover yourself by submitting to godly authority, you cover your family. Your family will always be a reflection of you because you are the head. You were built to shape and mold those around you into a reflection of you. Use that power wisely.

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Manhood Series Part I: Her Head not her God

Just like a woman of God compromises by going with a man who does not know his identity in Christ and she ends up having to put up with more than God intended because of it;  Men do the same thing with women who lack identity in Christ.

Many men find a physically attractive woman, and this solidifies them in the idea of trying to clean the woman up by introducing her to Christ, church, and submission.

These men, like many women, begin to disciple these women. In rare cases, it may work out, but in many cases, it will not. The woman may place the guy on a pedal stool because if he is genuinely saved, he is different than any other man she has been with.

Consequently, as soon as she gets close and sees the man is simply just a man, she may resort back to her common behavior for solving problems which may be carnal and divisive in nature; instead of likewise covering her man with respect, forgiveness, honor, mutual affection, and prayer.

The truth of the matter is when a man is looking for a wife, he should use wisdom and do like Jesus by only choosing to attempt to prune a woman who is already bringing forth fruit in her life.

He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. – John 15:2

When the husbandman (Jesus) sees us bringing forth fruit then he selects us to be pruned to bring forth more fruit. The ones who don’t bring forth any fruit the husbandman discards by burning in the fire. In other words, he pays it no mind as if it doesn’t exist. He refuses to waste time with it. He invests in that which shows it is worth the investment.

Why do men of God try to be the hero to someone who doesn’t want to be saved? Could it be that some men of God have an issue within themselves? Could it be that some men do not believe they are worth more?

I will be honest. When I tried to make it work with a guy who wasn’t on my level, it was partly because I did not believe I deserved more. The only men who had come to pursue me were men who weren’t on my level, and so I judged my worth falsely by how others saw me instead of how God saw me.

I only share that because of  Christian men and women go through the same things. We just don’t discuss it and because of that we suffer trying to figure these things out on our own. We don’t have to do that. We can love one another and cover one another while standing in God’s truth together.

The truth is God has his best for both men and women. We should expect an inheritance from God not because we’ve been good, done everything wrong or right, but simply because we are sons and daughters of God. Sons and daughters of the king always get the best because through the kingdom they have become the best. The best is what Jesus Christ, the King of Kings has done for us.

So, I encourage my brothers to know your worth and stand boldly in it as men of God not settling or expending yourself on women who do not know how to properly value you. You weren’t made to be drained in attempting to give a woman an identity that she can only get from God. You can be a light, but protect your heart and save it for a woman of God who will value you as her head and assist you in holding down the home together.

She will know how to hold her tongue at times and when to speak up because she has already been trained by the Holy Spirit and wise counsel. She will know how to build up her man and not tear him down. She will know how to apply wisdom to make the money last in the home because she already practices these things with God.

Don’t be in a rush, but allow God to make you into a solid man of God who loves Jesus and depends on him. This will prevent you from having to always be on–work for a woman’s approval impressing her with money, and vain things. She will love you for you and be willing to build with you instead of wear you out. This is what you could have if you allow yourself to be built enough by God to choose wisely.

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Guard Your Intimate Relationship With God:

Those who really know me know that my intimate relationship with God is the most important thing that I have. I emphasize intimate meaning close. This is important because there are believers in Christ who are far from God, and believers in Christ who are close to God. I want to be one who is close.
 
Closeness with God is a form of worship. Worship is an essential part of our walk with God as believers. Metaphorically, worship can be compared to sex within the union of marriage. Sex releases a hormone called Oxytocin that bond both the man and the woman together. It re-enforces feelings of closeness, warmth, and trust.
 
Similarly, worship and prayer does the same thing with believers. It re-enforces feelings of trust with God. Biblically speaking, there are two factors needed in order to have true worship.
 
But the time is coming–indeed it’s here now–when true worshipers will worship the Father in Spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for those who will worship him that way. – John 4:23

Worshipping in Spirit is God’s established covenant. We know that those who are born of the Spirit of God according to scripture by grace & through faith in Jesus Christ are in covenant with God.

Worshipping in truth means in God’s established truth, not false interpretations, or false doctrine, or man’s opinion, but the pure Word of God.

These two things are what the enemy attempts to attack when he wants to attack out intimacy with God. For example, I was having a conversation with a former church member, who is studying some false doctrine at this time. He is actually starting to believe the false doctrine, and he was sharing it with me.
 
Of course, I immediately wanted to seek the Lord about it and so I did. God brought back to my remembrance a warning prophecy about a spirit of perversion. I was attending a prophetic class at Cornerstone Christian Center maybe a couple of years ago, and a lady prophesied saying there would be a spirit of perversion trying to get in so watch out for that.
 
At the time, I was thinking, “perversion, isn’t that same-sex stuff? Well, I’m as straight as they come. So, that isn’t going to work” However, after speaking with a former member of a church I used to attend, I had a dream that night:
 
In the dream, I was sitting in a chair dazed as if I was sleepy and could hardly move. I was in a stupor. A woman came in the room and began to rub my arm inappropriately as to invite me into perversion. At that point, I rebuked her in the name of Jesus, and the stupor that I was in broke off of me.
 
In short, perversion means to draw away or to remove out of the way. What does it draw away from? It draws us away from the truth. 

​To be drawn away from the truth is to be in perversion.

To be drawn away from the truth is to be in perversion. This is not limited to sexual perversion, but it could also mean to be drawn away from any Biblical truth. Perversion, similar to the dream I had, places one into a stupor where a person becomes stuck. They cannot move forward in life, but they become trapped in deception. That is what God was showing me the enemy wanted to do with me. He wanted to get me stuck in perversion so far from the truth where I could hardly function.

It is no coincidence that back during ancient times much of the idol worship practices were sexually motivated. Because sex is a natural metaphor for the spiritual act of worship. So, it should be no coincidence that God often equates idolatry in the Bible with sexual perversion or harlotry. When we entertain perversion instead of closing the door on it; it can disturb the oneness of our covenant with God causing doubt instead of faith and trust. Similar to how adultery in a marriage disturbs the oneness of a marriage and produces distrust and separation.

This is why it is so important to abide in the Spirit and the truth of God’s word. When we abide in the Spirit and truth of God’s word, we can walk out true worship. In true worship, we are reinforced that Jesus Christ is the way, truth, and the life and that there is no other way but him. In true worship, things are produced by God and we grow and develop—similar to sex—the natural metaphor for worship. The union of husband and wife during sex produces fruit as well.

Our intimate relationship with God makes us become even more useful in God’s hands and we are able to properly intercede for those who may have gone out of the way. Will you purpose to guard your intimate relationship with God through remaining in him, and embracing his word?

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Are You Ready for What God is About to Do?

Have you ever heard the story of the boy who cried wolf? He was a shepherd boy who cried out warning of the arrival of a wolf at least 3-4 times. His neighbors, each time came out to help him, and he laughed at them each time because there really was no wolf.

However, the 5th time the boy cried out, there really was a wolf. Because the boy had not told the truth the previous times, everyone assumed he was also not telling the truth this time, and his whole flock of sheep was devoured by the wolf.

The above story is a classic example of complacency. The neighbors of the boy had grown complacent with his cry due to the disappointment of his previous cries. They, in essence, learned not to believe him nor take him seriously. This complacency cost them all of their sheep.

This is how many have become in response to what God has said he would do because of the wait and the disappointments along the way. Many have become complacent in response to what God said he would do.

I’ve been reading in Ezra regarding the rebuilding of God’s temple. In short, the children of Israel had been in exile 70 years, and God moved the heart of King Cyrus to fund the rebuilding of the Jewish temple.

The Israelites had faced opposition and disappointment on three occasions. The last occasion a new king became ruler of the province of Persia instead of Cyrus and this new king ordered a decree to stop the building of the temple. After 70 years of exile, it looked like the Jews were going to enter their promised land only to be stopped and disappointed. It would be 16 years after this disappointment that the Jews would begin to rebuild again.

The Jews had gotten comfortable with being in exile. God had to use two prophets to prepare them for what he was about to do. God spoke through the prophet Zechariah saying that he was jealous for Israel, and angry at the nations around Israel because they felt too secure.

​”Proclaim this word: This is what the LORD Almighty says: ‘I am very jealous for Jerusalem and Zion, and I am very angry with the nations that feel secure. Zechariah 1:15-16

In short, I believe what God was saying is that he feels for Israel because they have lived in a place of obscurity for so long that the nations around them had begun to take them for granted. Israel used to be that nation where no one could stand before them because their God was backing them up.

However, it appeared that God was no longer with them. Because of Israel’s disobedience, God had to chastise them for 70 years. Thus, other nations looked at them as if they weren’t a threat. They blended in with everyone else. They no longer were set apart as a nation not to be reckoned with. God wanted to change this. God wanted to bring his people back into their promised land starting with worship.

How many of us for whatever reason have gotten into a place of obscurity? How many of us have at some point or another lived in a place of numbness and complacency to the hope of change and the hope of God’s promise coming to pass in our personal lives?

Perhaps this article is an encouragement from God to stir your spirit and to prepare you for what God is about to do in your individual life. I pray that your heart and spirit is stirred as you read to position yourself and your faith-filled expectation to receive whatever it is God has planned for you in 2018.

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Growing Our Intimacy With God Through Fasting and Prayer – Part I (Fear & Reverence)

Approaching God in Fear & Reverence

In this blog, we will look at the relationship of a king, and compare it with the relationship to the King of Kings who is Jesus Christ. In doing so, we will learn more about some of the characteristics of God, and what it takes to draw near to him. Being near or close to God characterizes an intimate relationship with him.
For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. Romans 1:20
Intimacy With God Begins with Fear and Reverence
Be not rash with your mouth and let not your heart be hasty to utter anything before God: For God is in heaven, and you upon the earth; therefore let your words be few. Ecclesiastes 5:2
The above scripture reminds us of the necessary caution that must be taken with approaching God. There is a requirement of fear, respect, reverence, and humility in approaching God knowing who he is, and that he is King of Kings, Lord of Lords, The Supreme and All Wise Ruler.

In this we know that God has the ability to deal with us according to his favor or wrath, and we should respect him enough not to tempt his wrath. Like God has the ultimate authority; kings, presidents, or rulers on earth have an ultimate power as well. Studying how a king relates to others can easily show us some things in common of how God relates to us as well.

Some key scriptures showing the wrath or fear of a king:

  • A  King’s wrath is a messenger of death, but the wise will appease it. – Proverbs 16:14
  • A king’s wrath strikes terror like the roar of a lion; those who anger him forfeit their lives. – Proverbs 20:2
  • A King’s rage is like the roar of a lion, but his favor is like dew on the grass. – Proverbs 19:12

In the book of Esther, King Ahasuerus had a well known law that anyone who came into his courts without being invited would be killed unless he extended his golden scepter. This law was a clear indicator that his kingship, and presence as the king should be greatly revered, and respected. King’s like God have ultimate power to do good or enact judgment, but they are trusted to rule in righteousness.

We are not to be forgetful that kings or those in authority do not bare the sword in vain (Romans 13:14). There is definitely a time where they must act in judgment and for that they should be feared and revered especially if they are righteous like God.

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As a Single Person, What Do You Do When Your Hormones Get Hot?

This is a real and needed post. Being single and walking in sexual purity is a form of sacrifice because it isn’t like our hormones don’t work. We just simply have no release when the fire sets ablaze. Some participate in ungodly things, while others simply endure through the suffering trusting God to one day deliver.

A few things that have helped me are the below:

Prayer

Have you ever heard the term to encourage yourself in the Lord? Well, sometimes I begin to encourage myself reminding myself that I will not always go through this. God said that he would supply my every need. God will supply my need for sexual release with my husband in the near future. I just have to endure where I currently am.

I begin to tell God, “Lord, you know what I need before I even ask. I thank you that you will supply my need in this area. I ask you to give me the grace to endure right now until the appropriate time comes for release in this area.”

I continue praying, “Lord, I thank you that your strength is made perfect in my weakness. I have a weakness in this area because I do not have an appropriate release. Give me your strength to endure until the appropriate time.”

My prayers are really a realization that I cannot obey God in this area without his help. He gave me this awesome desire to “Get Down”, and thus I am expecting him to bring to pass what he has promised. I will remind the Lord of his word. I will say, “Lord, you said in your word in order to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and every woman her own husband. Lord, I want to avoid fornication, thus I am expecting a godly husband. I thank you that you will bring this to pass. Continue to give me the strength to endure while I wait.”

Joking Prayer and simply acknowledging God when things get hot:

Yes, I joke with the Lord often in prayer, and there is nothing wrong with that. It helps me to distract myself from what’s going on plus I bust up laughing. There is an unspoken expectation that in order to approach God we have to always be serious and have a strange protocol to approaching God. I will say that we should always be respectful of God and hold him in high regard, but that doesn’t mean that we cannot be ourselves.

Some of my joking prayers to God about my hormones that actually have helped. “Lord, I’m going to need you to be a fireman right now, put the fire out Jesus!”

“Lord, my hormones are on 10 Jesus.”

“Lord, I want to (insert what you want to do in that moment.)”

“Lord, I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

“Lord, I don’t want to be a hoe. Help me, Jesus!”

We have to be real with God if we want his help. The humility of simply coming to him shows dependence on him, and actually empowers us with the grace that we need to continue to walk in purity, and if we fall we need to own our identity in Christ that covers our sin so that we can stand again.

​“A righteous man falls several times, but seven times gets back up again.”- Proverbs 24:16

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

However, when we depend on God’s strength we do not have to fall. We have to come out of the thinking that it is impossible to live holy for God as an unmarried person, and at some point, we will have to fall. That is not true. We do not have to fall into sexual sin.

Distracting Myself

If I am taking a brief nap. I get up sooner than I planned because sometimes lying in the bed brings on those feelings. I may listen to unrelated music that would definitely not have you in the mood. I may do a few squats hoping that will shake the feeling away–just anything to take my mind off of how I feel.

Becoming more guarded with what I watch for entertainment

I am very careful about what I watch on TV when I watch TV. There has been a couple of shows I have stopped watching because they have added just way too much sex. I don’t care if the show identifies with me to some degree as a single woman. My sexual purity is more important. I try not to get caught up in watching any series that will show consistent sex. My hormones just can’t take it. I discussed this in more detail in my book, “The Single Christian Woman’s Guide.” I talked about how the Bible gives us permission to be extreme when something is causing us to sin. It says if your eye offends you, meaning causes you to sin, pluck it out. I do a lot of plucking, and that helps too.

I was visiting my cousin who is not a devout believer in the well-known sense. He was telling me how good some movie was, and I asked the question, “Does it have a lot of sex in it?” He was like you crazy cuz. I said no, I’m serious. I can’t watch stuff with a lot of sex in it.

I did not even watch the Strait outta Compton movie because I heard the movie had a threesome in it. I had already watched a documentary about the group and how their music spoke of the social inequalities of the time. That was all I needed to know.

Let me be clear. I am not perfect and have not always done things right. I used to have a crutch of fantasy lust that I would run to when my hormones would be off the chain, but of course, God delivered me. Now, I run to God for grace.

What are some of the things that you do as a single when your hormones get hot? Please, share. Don’t be shy. We all grown lol!

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