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Money Series Part IV: Borrowing Basics

You know the Word of God is just bomb! It has something to say on every single subject under the sun. Shout out to my daddy up in heaven, who used to always say, “Read the book of Proverbs. It has so much wisdom on everyday life.” My parents used to read the book of Proverbs to us all the time for the above-mentioned reason, and because of that the below scripture is my center scripture when it comes to borrowing and credit:

​The rich rule over the poor and the borrower is a slave to the lender. – Proverbs 22:7

I don’t know about you all, but I don’t like being a slave to nobody! Therefore, this scripture is always in the back of my mind when I consider any type of borrowing. Thus, I only borrow what I need, and I only borrow what I know I can pay back. Why? Because I don’t want to spend the rest of my life working to pay someone else. I want to work and pay myself.

Below are some things that lenders look at when they are considering loaning to a person. They want to assess the risk factor in loaning to an individual. The things they look for have a lot to do with discipline. The above scripture induces discipline in me when I think about money:

How much debt:

A person who doesn’t have too many lines of credit open shows that he may be more responsible in how much debt he is willing to take on. He may not be such a high risk to loan money to in the future. Whereas, a person who is always getting credit cards and opening up new lines of credit has a greater risk of default. This may affect his credit score negatively and cause lenders to think twice about lending to him.

How high the balances are:

This goes to the point of not living above one’s means. If the balances on the credit lines are too high; It may be a red flag that the consumer is not a good manager of credit and thus could pose a risk when considering loaning money to this person. As a rule credit utilization of your lines of credit should always be as low as 30-50% of what has been made available to you. This means if you have a $10,000 credit card, you should spend no more than $3,000-$5,000 of that credit card per month. Never spend over 50% of what you’ve been approved for. That would make you high-risk.

That is a bit of an extreme example because I don’t believe anyone should be putting $3,000-$5,000 on a credit card each month. It’s a good rule of thumb to only spend what you can pay off in full or in a few months of payments. Practicing this consistently will add to a high credit score. Paying it off in full each month or paying it off as agreed will build your credit. Remember, if you pay your credit card off in full each month, you don’t have to pay interest. You only pay interest when you carry a balance.

Length of Debt:

How long have you had the lines of credit open? How long has it been since you opened a new line of credit? If you’ve had an account open for a good length of time that you’ve been paying consistently; It shows that you can make payments on time. It’s not good to open too many lines of credit at one time. For example, if you are shopping for a house, do not shop for additional credit at that time besides mortgage loans. Opening credit while applying for credit such as a housing loan can cause a denial.

How many inquiries are on credit report:

There are soft and hard pulls on your credit. A soft pull comes from a company that views your credit in order to maybe make a contract with you or something, but not to extend credit. Companies that make soft pulls are cable, cell phone, and insurance companies. They pull your credit for informational purposes only.

Hard pulls are when your credit is pulled for the purposes of extending credit such as credit card companies, banks, etc. The hard pulls show up on your credit report, but the soft pulls do not. If a person has too many hard pulls on their credit report; it will lower their credit score.

Your Credit Score:

Your credit score is the overall grade of your credit history. The 600s are average, while the 700 and 800s are very good scores. Anything below the 600s isn’t good. Your credit score is based on the above-mentioned things plus any delinquencies or judgments on your credit history. You can find out more about your credit score by visiting the website: FicoScore Fact Sheet

https://www.fico.com/en/latest-thinking/brochures/fico-score-fact-sheet

Delinquencies:

Delinquencies are when people fall behind on making the agreed upon payment. Those who become delinquent are normally charged late fees, and depending on the type of delinquency may be in danger of losing the asset he/she is delinquent on such as a house or a car. Delinquencies can result in judgments which are certain amounts of money owed to the entity who has sued the individual. Judgments and delinquencies appear on the credit report. They normally remain on the credit report for 7 years. Bankruptcies are also a form of a judgment that will remain on the credit report for 7 years.

Credit reports can be checked once per year for free at annualcreditreport.com. You will not get your score at this website though. You may get a copy of your credit report and score for free if you apply for credit. There is an act that requires the lender to send you a copy of your score and allow you to view your credit report for free. I believe they have 30-60 days to show it to you.

Being aware of your credit/borrowing habits, and making disciplined choices in only borrowing what you need, maintaining low balances, not opening too many lines of credit, and paying off your monthly debt, or at the least paying as agreed makes one a great candidate to borrow when necessary.

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Money Series Pt. III: Sowing & Reaping

When I was a teenager, I always had everything I needed, and what I did not have, God made a way for me to have. I would sow from the little that I got. If I had $5, I sometimes gave the whole $5 away. To others, it was sowing small, but to God, it was sowing richly because I was willing to give all that I had. I do believe that God uses the purity of our hearts in giving to show us that we will lack nothing when we are willing to give.
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Giving and sowing seed is not something that we just do in church. God may place it on our hearts to give to someone at the gas station or a woman who comes up to us saying she doesn’t have money to feed her kids. God uses his people on earth as instruments to give where there is a need. We have to have a sensitivity to know when and where God is calling us to give.
Now that we’ve learned that it’s okay to be wealthy; and that it’s God’s will to make us wealthy to show people about him in the earth. Let’s take a look at some Biblical principles and promises below for the one willing to sow:

Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. – 2 Corinthians 9:10

It’s God that gives us money to sow. He is our source not only of life, health, and strength but of money as well. He gives money to the one who has a willing heart to be obedient in sowing. One who is consistent in allowing his/her heart to be soft toward the tug of the Lord to give money where God leads will always have extra money coming in from God. Note: Again, this does not only mean to sow into the church offering. Being obedient in tithes and offering is a given, but God wants to show his love to others outside of the church. Allow God to make you sensitive to sow.

Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will repay him for his deed. – Proverbs 19:7

This is an awesome promise that I’ve seen manifested in my life. I’ve given to poor people and seen God give it right back to me as if I’d borrowed some money from him and I was being paid back. I remember one example in particular. I gave $30 to a pair of homeless people toward a hotel room, and the next day God had a $20 laying on the ground in a Jewel parking lot for me of which I picked up. He also paid me the rest later. God is faithful to his word not only as it relates to salvation, but also as it relates to money.

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. – Galatians 6:7

People have come up with something called Karma, which is a bite from the word of God. They don’t wanna give my God his credit, but the principle of sowing and reaping comes from God. This can relate to money, but it also relates to life in how we treat others. God will not allow us to sow and not reap. It is a mockery of his character to do so.

Cast your bread upon the waters, for you will find it after many days. Give a portion to seven, or even to eight, for you know not what disaster may happen on earth. – Ecclesiastes 11:1-2

The above scripture speaks to those who are afraid to sow. They hold on tightly to all of their money always expecting something bad to happen. Let me tell you; it is wise to save money for a rainy day, but there is such a thing as not trusting in the Lord to preserve and sustain us. There is such a thing as trusting only in our savings and riches. God doesn’t want us to trust in our money, but He wants us to trust in Him. Don’t be afraid to give when God lays it on your heart. Not only does God want us not to be afraid to give, but he wants us to be okay with diversifying our giving. The scripture is saying give some here and there. Don’t just sow into one pot. Be led by the Spirit and wisdom. It’s okay to give.

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Money Series Part II: Living Beneath Our Means

Living beneath my means is something I learned from my parents. They had 5 kids plus my elder sister who was still-born. Because my parents had to raise 5 kids they could not spend up all of their money on whatever they wanted because they had responsibility.

Therefore, they’d save money by spending less. Living beneath our means doesn’t necessarily mean doing without. It just means getting what we need at the most economical price so there will be some left over for emergencies or just to have if we want to use it for something.

My parents lived beneath their means by shopping at the thrift store for our clothing and toys as we were consistently growing children. My mom would also call around and get vouchers for some of the various thrift stores where we’d be able to pick out three outfits for free.

Living beneath our means can also mean waiting until we’ve saved up enough for that big purchase that we wanted instead of financing it or spending money that we did not already have. Personally, I don’t believe it’s wise to spend money that I don’t have. Now, there are certain purchases where we have to do this such as a house and in some cases a car, but even with a car we can still save.

I don’t believe it’s a good habit to form when we spend what we do not have consistently. I believe we need to carefully count up the cost of big purchases. In doing so, we can plan for the purchase so that we will minimize our monthly debt when we finally proceed with the purchase. For example, I was working two jobs for a few years not because I had to, but because I love kids and wanted to pour into kids.

Thus, I took an abstinence educator position where I taught in schools twice per week during the school year for 4 years. The checks I got from that went into my savings account; while my full-time job went into my checking account. I lived off of the full-time job and saved from the second job. When my car at the time gave out; I had a large down-payment on the car paying over 50% of the balance of the car. Because of that, I was able to pay my car off in a year. 

I lived below my means all that year not getting any sew-ins. I took all of my extra money and put it on the car payment each month until the car payment was no more. I never made the agreed upon payment. I always paid more. Paying more on monthly payments is a quick way to decrease and eliminate debt while saving money on interest each month. Only purchasing what is needed such as food, gas, utilities, and housing for a period is a way of living beneath our means. It allows us to do without some of the things we may want for what we need and in turn, allows us to pay off debt sooner. Paying off debt sooner frees up more money in our monthly budgets to do what we want.

Finally, living beneath our means also means not buying the most expensive item available. Instead of buying a new $20,000 car, I found a car that was nice and to my liking for under $10,000. We don’t have to have the most expensive car or fit in with what our friends are able to afford. I personally don’t care what my friends are able to afford. I have to be responsible for myself. I know I’m the type of person who likes to go on trips here and there exploring and sight-seeing; therefore, I intentionally do not commit to overspending. I intentionally commit to sticking to a budget.

Now, sometimes things come up, for example, I recently had to spend more than I wanted with three different mechanics trying to get my car to pass the vehicle emissions test in time to have my license plate renewed, but that was an emergency. There was no way to get around that. Living under our means helps us to more easily take care of those emergencies and still do some of the things that we really want to do.

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Money Series Part I: The Purpose of Money

In a world where being a boss and making mad dollars is highly praised; we have to be careful to have the right perspective on money or else we may end up doing without it or getting it in a way that brings trouble on us.

So many people make money their god. They work two and three jobs for it giving it all of their time, effort, and sometimes their integrity. The good thing is we don’t have to over-extend ourselves or debase our character in any way for it as God’s children. We simply have to realize the purpose and the source for it.

​But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today. – Deuteronomy 8:18

God uses us as an example in the earth to show his faithfulness just as He used Abraham, the father of the faith. Abraham was one of great wealth and favor because of his faith in God. His wealth continued on to Issac, and Jacob, and so on. This is another proper purpose of wealth is to leave an inheritance to our children.

God doesn’t give wealth for us to horde, floss, appear superior to others, or to buy things that should be free such as love, friends, and self-esteem. The Bible has many scriptures on money, finances, and wealth that provide a guide that we can use in our personal lives to be successful in our financial lives.

​He who trusts in riches will fall, but the righteous will flourish like the green leaf. – Proverbs 11:28

The righteous know that they have riches because of God. Those who trust in riches do so despising God. They attempt to fill voids in their lives through their relationship with money instead of their relationship with God. We cannot even be righteous without God. Truly righteous people have become righteous through depending on God knowing God has added righteousness to their account. It is nothing they could have done on their own. (Psalms 32:2.)

People curse the one who hoards grain, but they pray God’s blessing on the one who is willing to sell. – Proverbs 11:26
​Then, he (Jesus) said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” – Luke 12:13 (Also, read Luke 12:13-21)

Greed, and getting money for selfish gain just to store it up is definitely not of God; Just as trusting in money is not of God. In Luke 12, Jesus continues this point sharing a parable about a man who had so much grain, and wealth that he ran out of room to put it. He tore down his barns and built new ones that were bigger so that he’d have enough room to store up.

He looked at what he had while ignoring the more important things in life like his soul due to his hoard of wealth. Jesus warned sharing that his soul would later that night be required of him as he was to die the same night. The question was then asked of Jesus, saying, “who then will have what the man stored up for himself.” Jesus was pointing to the vanity of being rich for the sake of being rich, and not being rich toward God nor the things of God.

We learned in the first part of this series the purpose of wealth is for God to display his covenant in the earth showing others that he is real. He does provide for the fatherless and widow. He does supply all of his children’s need. He does own the cattle on a thousand hills as the Word of God says and there is nothing too hard for him.

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In Everything Give Thanks:

In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. – I Thessalonians 5:18​

Everything that we have is a gift from God and that is why we have to always remain thankful (James 1:17). It’s God’s will for us to be thankful in all things and in all circumstances. This is actually a shield and protection for us to be thankful. It shifts our focus on the goodness of God in the middle of the circumstance instead of the weight of what is going on. It also adds to us the strength that comes from God. We can embrace that strength more easily with a thankful heart and spirit.

I recently had a convo with a bestie of mine who’s been struggling financially in her household for some time. She recently called feeling overwhelmed by what had just happened. Her husband lost his job while the company was being sold and laying off employees. She said she felt somewhat paralyzed by her hubs sharing the news and needed to call someone to pray with her.

I quickly encouraged her to count her blessings. One, her husband did not like the job. It did not pay enough, and now he was free to pursue better. Two, he was laid off and not fired, so he is eligible for unemployment during the interim of him job-seeking now. Three, she’s been here before and the Lord supplied her needs. The Lord is her source and not the job.

She quickly felt better as she began to shift her perspective to the promises of God and the opportunities to be had because of her circumstance instead of allowing herself to remain paralyzed by fear.

I shared with her also that I’d been going through my own circumstance of losing my dad a week and a half ago, and visiting my mom in the mental hospital almost every day trying to support her through this so she can get back into her sound mind. I shared how drained and tired I felt, but I was being intentional about thanking God.

I shared that I thanked God that he gave my dad 65 years. I shared an incident years ago when I used to stay w/my parents when my dad had a bad cough and I kept encouraging him to go to the hospital. Come to find out, he had pneumonia. He was able to get cured of that through going in to get it checked out. Many die from pneumonia, but God allowed him to live several years afterward.

I thanked God that my dad lived 19 years longer than his father who passed from the same illness. I thanked God that my dad believed God until the end even though the disease he had was very uncomfortable. Now, I also thank God that I no longer have to worry about my dad, but I know that he is with the Lord. God is good and gives us grace in all situations. This grace is easily seen in thanking him.

Thankfulness is a way to fight for our peace without doing any heavy lifting. It allows us to keep our eyes on the promises of God and the goodness of God in the middle of our situations. Thankfulness is also a strong weapon against grief and heaviness.

and provide for those who grieve in Zion– to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. – Isaiah 61:3

This is a part of our inheritance or heritage in Christ Jesus. We do not have to become overwhelmed. We can grieve in a manner where God’s grace and strength cover us as we focus on being thankful.

No matter what life hits us with whether expected or unexpected transitions, job loss, or loss of a loved one; we can be guaranteed to have some joy even in those hard experiences because God will help us and give us the grace to be thankful right in the middle of it counting our blessings. This is how the people of God avoid fainting. See scripture below:

​If you faint in the day of adversity your strength is small. – Proverbs 24:10

You’d be wise to make some adjustments with your schedule and how you build yourself up daily. Read my book, “The Wholeness Action Plan” for more on maintaining health and wholeness for your life mentally, spiritually, emotionally, socially, and so on. Another book I’d also recommend is Joyce Meyers’ “Living Beyond Your Feelings: Controlling Your Emotions So They Don’t Control You.”

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Keep Your Child-Like Humility

If you read Matthew 20:1-16, you’ll see that its a parable about men being hired to work in a vineyard at various times of the day. The people who were hired last were paid first to prove a point to the others that everyone would receive the same payment no matter what time they were hired.

Those who were hired first wanted more. They wanted to see themselves as more valuable than others by being paid more instead of being thankful that God is simply good and gracious to all. What is this inclination in many to want to be valued and validated above another instead of simply accepting the goodness of God?

It really isn’t about us, but about the kingdom of God. The below scriptures sum up the attitude we ought to have, and that is a child-like humility:

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a little child to him and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. – Matthew 18:1-5

In the below text, the disciples were embarrassed to share with Jesus what they were arguing about probably because they knew they had the wrong motive:

They came to Capernaum. When he was in the house, he asked them, “What were you arguing about on the road?” But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest.
Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.” – Mark 9:33-35

They’d been arguing about who was the greatest in the kingdom of God. Jesus, knowing what they chatted about, begun to correct them sharing that a desire to be great must be converted into humility. We have to be willing to be in last place and to become the servant of all. Then Jesus went on to share the example of being like a child again. It’s okay to desire to be great, but the greatest will be your most humble. It will be the person who is thankful to belong to the Lord and to be counted as a son or daughter of God who will be great; not the person who looks to compare himself to others and desires to one-up the ones he’s compared himself to.
Let’s keep that child-like humility even being willing to look foolish and come in last place at times. This is the culture of the kingdom that God desires for us.

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Go Through the Mountain, Move the Mountain, or Live on the Mountain

Recently, I’d been stressed with moving, family in the hospital sick, and the everyday hustle and bustle of life. I was glad I’d planned a vacation for my birthday month, March. As I was driving in California, I had ample opportunity to look at the mountains. I felt like God was reminding me of his Word, thus speaking to me through the mountains. As the scripture says, God’s creation testifies of his glory:

For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. – Romans 1:20

I’d been getting calls from my mom while out of town showing that she was on the cusp of an emotional breakdown. Then I got word that it happened and she was going back into the hospital for it. So, now both parents are in the hospital, along with having to take care of the normal things of life. I had to shift my mind and thinking while out of town so that I would not walk in anxiety and fear concerning all of what was going on.

Every time I saw the mountain, I’d speak God’s Word about how having faith as a grain of mustard seed would allow me to move a mountain. I was also encouraged that man-kind has authority of the mountains. I was reminded of this by seeing houses built on top of mountains. Houses are homes which are places of safety, security, rest, and peace. Do you mean to tell me that we can go through a mountainous time in life and still have our peace, security, rest, and safety? How Sway? Through faith and God’s grace.

Faith in Christ and his Word is how we navigate the mountain-like hard places of life. As I continued to drive and drive the mountains seemed so long and unending. There were ranges of mountains. Sometimes, we reach such a hard and draining place in life that it seems there will be no end to the hard place, but faith in Christ and his grace for us will cause us to get through the mountain-like hard experience.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

I’ve started to see hard places in life differently after the last series of trials, I’d endured. Even though I still feel the realness of the situation; I also have a greater expectation of where God is in this and what He is saying? I simply know that the Lord is with me empowering me to get through the mountain, live on the mountain, or to remove the mountain completely by faith.

Below are some scriptures, I’ve meditated on while studying in my devotional time about mountains, how they are formed, and what they represent as found in scripture:​God has authority over the mountains and any mountain-like experiences we encounter in life:
The mountains melt like wax before the Lord before the Lord of all the earth. – Psalms 97:5
I will turn all my mountains into roads, and my highways will be raised up. – Isaiah 49:11
In his hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him. – Psalms 95:4
Who formed the mountains by your power, having armed yourself with strength. – Psalms 65:6

The Mountains represent a place of display. God often uses mountain-like experiences in our lives to display his glory:
I will spread your flesh on the mountains and fill the valleys with your remains. – Ezekiel 6:2

Mountains represent Might. God is Almighty:
In the last days, the mountain of the Lord’s temple will be established as the highest of the mountains; it will be exalted above the hills, and all nations will stream to it. – Isaiah 2:2
Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord/ Who may stand in his holy place? Psalms 24:3
I call out to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy mountain. – Psalms 3:4

The mountains can be seen as a place of refuge:
As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people both now and forevermore. – Psalms 125:2
Mountains can be seen as obstacles to overcome:
He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” – Matthew 17:20
People assault the flinty rock with their hands and lay bare the roots of the mountains. – Job 24:8​So, when a mountain-like hard place shows up in your life; do not be intimidated by it. Do not wallow in fear and anxiety at all. Shift your thinking on the Word of God and his promises. Go through the mountain-like experience with God’s grace and faith knowing that He has authority over the situation and that you can live in that experience with peace, safety, and security with God as your refuge. He is Almighty and has authority over your situation. Trust him.

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Take the Small Steps of Faith:

The small steps of faith are those steps that may not seem like they’ll have as much impact, but they are necessary to keep us moving forward instead of trapping ourselves in the lie that we will simply wait, doing nothing, and things will turn out as we expect.

I was speaking with a client of mine regarding a business she wants to start. Her thing was that she had not gotten her license yet for the skill-set she’d gone to school for and that kept her from stepping out in faith to start that business. So, of course, I asked her what she was doing to get the money to pay for the license and she said she was believing God for it.

It is good to believe God for things, but our faith in God still requires action verifying that we actually do believe.

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. – James 2:14-17 (NIV)

​It’s so easy to get caught up in the thought of just believing God for something, but when we truly believe God for something, we take action. I shared with her how I’d been believing God to purchase either a condo or a townhouse, and I wanted to pay a specific dollar amount for it. I’d been looking for two years and hadn’t seen anything I liked.

One day, at work, it seemed as if God spoke to me saying, “Check the website again.” There was a particular website I’d look on for a condo or townhouse and I had not looked in a while. I checked the website and looked within the range I wanted to spend. I did not see anything I liked. I felt like I was led to raise the price range to show more houses on the market. I saw one I wanted listed for $23,000 more than I wanted to pay. I called a realtor to show it to me and immediately began placing an offer to the seller. The seller and I went back and forth and finally agreed to sell the house to me for $15,000 over what I wanted to pay.

I’d learned of a $15,000 forgivable loan program, which is basically free money toward my purchase with no interest. The plan was to apply for this program and I’d get the condo for what I initially wanted to pay. I explained to my client how a prerequisite for applying for the program was for me to already have a contract in place. Had I not been moving in faith already, I never would have gotten the grant. I explained how when we move in faith; we attract God’s favor to our lives.

But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. – Hebrews 11:6 (KJV)

End of story. I got the condo for what I originally wanted to pay because I got the grant that knocked $15,000 off of the principal. You see, faith continues to move forward when the end isn’t clear or there appears to be an obstacle. 

For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. – 1 Corinthians 13:9-10 (NIV)

Had I stopped when I saw the listing $23,000 over what I wanted to pay, I would not have gotten the blessing. Even though I did not know whether a grant would be available or not prior to placing a contract on the property, I moved forward anyway in faith that if I got the grant, I’d be taken care of, and if I did not get the grant, I’d still be taken care of because God is my provider, and he’s been providing for me. These types of experiences build our faith and cause us to take even more action for the next opportunity that God places before us.

For my single brothers and sisters out there desiring to be married; keep treating yourself like you’re worth it. Keep obeying God, and being beautiful inside and out. Don’t allow bitterness to steal your true beauty. You may not see how it will work itself out, but God does and you will see it if you remain in faith.

Keep going out and about to experience various places and new experiences in expectation of God’s goodness. Keep enjoying life and allowing God’s love to shine inside of you. God will meet you at your level of faith in him.

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Colorism

Colorism is a real thing. It’s where people are assigned to a place in life due to the color of their skin by fellow Black people. I was in a Christian Bible study class when a girl from the class asked a question with concern that she’d never get married. The leader capped off her response to the young lady by saying that she had nothing to worry about because she was a light-skinned Black woman, and when men of God come to the church, they expect to marry only the best and that is what they see as a light-skinned woman.

The class gasped while others in the room said, “Don’t end there.” It was obvious the teacher had opened up a can of worms and simply set it on the table while ending her class. However, her ending advice to the young lady was not enough for her to stand on. So, another girl and I went and ministered to her after class was over.

This was the year 2018 by the way. Colorism is still strong today among many in the Black community as well as those who attend church. It was a sad reality that she bought up. Not that it was her personal opinion, but many Black men in the church do choose light-skinned women over darker ones no matter how beautiful a woman is on the inside and out.

If a dark-skinned woman’s perspective of herself isn’t right; she may think that she has a lesser stake at getting a man of God because she is dark and thus she may act outside of the character of a woman of God because she’s lost hope. If a light-skinned woman’s perspective isn’t right, she may feel entitled and thus attract the humbling of life God upon herself.

Truthfully, I believe colorism is a lie from the pit of hell to discourage dark-skinned sisters from following Christ and to provide division between dark and light-skinned women. This is why it’s important to think for yourself. You cannot simply follow advice because it came from a pastor, teacher, or leader. You should have your very own measuring line of discernment for various things in life. You should know where you stand personally on various issues.

Colorism is popular not just in America, but all over the world. Because it is so popular to reward one shade over the other; we have to be more intentional about how we see ourselves, and how we teach our children to see themselves. Below are some things I’ve done to make sure I see myself properly despite the lie of colorism:

  • ​Follow Instagram accounts and hashtags that celebrate dark-skinned women
  • Think about the men in my circle who prefer dark-skinned women
  • I’ve chosen to love and adorn myself regardless of my darker shade. My shade is a plus to me and not a minus. I love it and that’s what matters.
  • ​Personally celebrate and look up to other women of darker shades who are poppin and beautiful such as Angela Bassett, Gabrielle Union, Regina King, Regina Hall, Michelle Obama, and others. When I remind myself of how these women are celebrated for their beauty and other contributions; it reminds me that I am worth it too. I am worth being loved and celebrated too! I can reach my full potential in my life also.

It’s only wrong thinking that holds us back. It seeks to cause us to adapt to a lower place in life, but when we have strategies in place to combat the negative lies in society that tell us we are less than; we will not think, act, or hold back in fear that we are less than.
If we continue to have a pure heart in how we value ourselves and others; we will not allow the colorism divide to work on us. It will be almost as if it doesn’t exist. The only time colorism may be noticed is when we meet someone who has not been transformed in their thinking just yet. Just because others have not made the choice to transform out of small and limited thinking about color doesn’t mean that we should make the same choice.

We have to take responsibility for how we see ourselves, and other people will follow. If you are dark, rock your beautiful dark skin. If you are light, rock your beautiful light skin. It really doesn’t matter what other people think as long as you like you. You’re the one who has to live with yourself.

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Wholeness Stories: Lisa Daniels Shares her Healing Process After Losing Her Son

Lisa Daniels, a mother, blogger, and social justice champion shares her wholeness story regarding the loss of her youngest son at the age of 25. She shares valuable principles on learning to let go, forgive, and make the choice to be healthy and whole in the toughest of life’s circumstance.

Her organization is in the process of doing research to serve the Englewood, IL. community. She also provides help to families grieving the loss of a loved one due to gun violence through her foundation (Darren B. Easterling Center for Restorative Practices).

At the same time, Lisa was experiencing the loss of her son; she was also going through a divorce that left her totally dependent on God. The experience challenged her in her faith more than anything causing her to grow tremendously closer to God and in her knowledge of God.

Lisa agrees that becoming whole is a process that we have to consistently make the choice to walk out in our relationship with God. She shared plainly that she believes she is here for God’s glory. Therefore, she does not ask the question, “Why me?” Instead, she asks the question, “What am I supposed to do with this experience?” How can God get the glory out of this?

Some of the things Ms. Daniels practices to continue her path to being healthy and whole spiritually, emotionally, and mentally include the below:

  • Fasting & Praying
  • Careful study of God’s word
  • Consistent Self-care (Quietness, spa treatments, massages, and mediation & Exercise.)

​​Brief Disclaimer: There are several forms of meditation. As a believer, I do not suggest the mediation that is associated with the Eastern religions; however, mindful meditation and Biblical meditation where one quiets himself and focuses on what God has said is the type of mediation that I’d suggest. Pastor Bill Winston has an excellent book as a resource on this type of mediation (Meditation The Missing Link.)

Watch full video of Lisa’s interview below. Also, information for her organization and blog is also below:https://www.youtube.com/embed/fNlp8MVpDn0​Lisa’s Blog: www.lisaddaniels.com

Organization link: www.dbefoundation.org

This interview was done in a series called, “Wholeness Stories” where I interview people regarding challenges they’ve overcome through practices principles shared in the book, “The Wholeness Action Plan.“

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