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The False Expectation of Marriage for Being a Good Girl: Thoughts on Erica Campbell’s Can’t Sow Seeds of Whoredom Statement

Recently, Erica Campbell shared on her Instagram and also explained more in detail on a radio show her statement below. See the quote of what she said at her Instagram link here: https://www.instagram.com/p/CHjNju1lUzS/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

I understand where Erica Campbell is coming from as she encourages singles to shift their thinking from loose sexual character to that of purity in preparation for marriage. There has to be a mature mindset to take on marriage especially if we will do so successfully, but it could easily be derived from her statement that those who practice the opposite of waiting until marriage for sex will not get married and that’s simply not true. Deciding to wait until marriage to have sex can and often does leave singles single longer.

It is true, that if we want God’s best for our future marriages that we will have to like Erica said, begin practicing obedience to God in the area of sexual purity among other areas. This also applies to virgins who have sex in their mind and have not had sex with their bodies. However, there has to be a greater expectation of remaining abstinent than to simply get married because getting married can come easier through compromise.

Simply put more people are willing to compromise sexually than to hold up a standard so there are more opportunities for people to choose from as a spouse when doing it the world’s way. I’m sharing this from experience as someone who is a 37-year-old virgin, who believes in honoring God with my body and actions. I’ve had more serious pursuits from men who do not believe the same as me with remaining abstinent until marriage and setting boundaries to do so than those who do believe the same. I had to make a choice of whether I wanted marriage or to please God.

Does the Church create a false expectation that abstaining from sex before marriage guarantees a marriage? I am 110% for doing things God’s way which is what the Bible teaches for us to wait until marriage to have sex. Anyone who follows my platform knows that I rep waiting 110%. However, I feel like the church has to be careful in how we communicate expectations for doing things God’s way and doing them the world’s way.

Many of my single sisters waiting to have sex after marriage are alone. They aren’t alone because they are loose in their sexual character. They are alone because they decided to wait. We have to begin telling the truth to young women that in many cases deciding to wait until marriage may mean that we are single longer because many men do not want a woman who has decided to wait until marriage for sex.

Many women who make the choice to obey God in this manner face rejection over and over again from men. Because of this, many women struggle with accepting themselves. They’re faced with the question of should I compromise to get married or should I continue to trust and obey God even if that means being alone a little longer.

I’ve met so many good guys who were looking for a wife, but the only thing that held them back was the fact that I, as a single woman, have boundaries so that I can continue to honor God with my body. Some of the good men interpreted my commitment to my healthy boundaries as a lack of trust in them. This was the case because their goal was not to honor God but themselves.

If we teach women to only value and prioritize marriage as the reason to wait; then women may begin making choices that aren’t honorable to God just to get married. We see it all the time. I can count so many women on my fingers who are married because they decided to compromise sexually before marriage.

I can also count on my fingers without using them all―the number of women I’m familiar with who became married after not having sex at all. The reality is a woman or man can get married while previously being a whore or sowing h*e seeds. The marriage may be more challenging in some areas due to the lack of discipline and character practiced before marriage. Some of these challenges could be avoided by doing things God’s way hence the benefit of waiting. Those who do obey God in waiting will be able to avoid some challenges that those who did not wait will not be able to. We see this all the time.

The greater weight should not be placed on being a good girl/good guy to get married, but being obedient to honor God whether we get married or not. I believe if the goal is only to get married then the door becomes open for idolatry of marriage. Idolatry is when we place something of more importance than Christ in our life. We begin to sacrifice for it as a form of worship.

Many of God’s single Christian daughters who have idolized marriage, and obeyed God in waiting, have become bitter toward God and His way of doing things. They believed the false expectation that abstinence until marriage meant having a marriage. When that did not happen many of God’s single daughters decided to begin sowing seeds of whoredom and found themselves no longer alone.

This is why we have to be careful about how we communicate about God’s Biblical laws. Yes, we should wait until marriage to have sex. It honors God with our bodies. It provides clarity when we are dating so we can see the real person and not the smokescreen of the connection created when we’ve become sexually intimate with a partner. There are great benefits to saving sex for marriage, but there has to be a greater motivation behind it than just to get married because what happens when waiting becomes the reason why men no longer want to be with you?

Finally, if you are someone reading this who has been obedient and are still single; be encouraged to know you are worthy of marriage if that is something you desire; seek God to see if it’s something he has for you and continue to remain faithful to God. If it is the Lord’s will for you to be married, you will be blessed with an appropriate spouse.

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We Cannot Be Fully Committed to Christ & The Republican or Democratic Party:

Woo! Chile’. Our country along with the body of Christ has been through a rough election season. There has been much tension and discourse in the body of Christ.

There have been Republicans who have judged those who have voted for Democratic candidates and vice versa. Some Christians have been so passionate and devout about their political opinions and affiliations that it would be easy to assume they love one particular party or its ideas over Christ and the gospel itself.

As believers, our full and total allegiance should be given to Christ, his Word, and his ideas. Because neither party Democratic or Republican subscribes to Christ’s ideas fully neither party can ever or will ever have my full allegiance.

The Republican party is full of those who very sharply reminds me of the Pharisees and religious elite in the Bible who constantly looked for something wrong with others. Similar to how the Pharisees sought to find something wrong with Jesus to demote him from his position of authority as the Son of God and representative of the kingdom of heaven. 

Republicans use two main issues that are obviously wrong abortion and homosexuality. The fact that Democrats leave it open to a Woman’s choice is twisted to mean that Democrats support killing babies which may not be true. They just may support the woman’s choice. There is an obvious difference between the two ideas. The Bible and Christianity are touted as the basis for Republican support and ideas which in my opinion borders blasphemy and taking God’s name in vain.

The Bible nor Christ or Christianity was not provided to us to condemn people, but to bring us into fellowship with the living God who changes our hearts and produces the fruit of righteousness within us through abiding in him. It isn’t about appearing righteous, but being righteous from the inside out.

Republicans appear righteous for being adamant against the two sins of homosexuality and abortion but fail in the most important act of righteousness of which the entire gospel hang on and that is loving God with all of our heart and loving our neighbor as ourselves. To assert self-righteousness based on not supporting two sins while neglecting the basis of the gospel in loving others as ourselves is blasphemy and hypocrisy. It’s hard to take someone’s religion or “relationship with God” seriously when they fell in the very foundation of the gospel. Simply put, it puts a reproach on the gospel.

The below scripture shares the importance of seeing this from the perspective that is above that of a Pharisee:

Blind Pharisee! First, clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean. – Matthew 23:26

Democrats seem to be more laid back on the harsh judgments of people. They seem to be more caring and reflective of loving people. You may not be able to perceive fully what a Democrat believes as they do not often speak about religious things. In some cases, it could be due to the fear and reverence they have for religion or perhaps not all Democrats are religious.

True religion Biblically is not perceived by those who are the loudest about their religion, but on those who know how to treat others in particular the fatherless and widows (James 1:27). The Bible is also clear that the whole law and gospel hinge on our love for God and others as we love ourselves. When this is genuinely done, there is no need to harp on others not to commit abortion or to practice same-sex relationships, perversion, or whatever the sin(s) may be. The process of salvation and sanctification will occur as the Holy Spirit changes the heart and cleanses man through the renewing of our mind with the Word of God.

We will not be able to perceive a person as a Christian just by appearance. It will be by the fruit produced in their lives. On the surface, the Pharisees could not prove Jesus was sent from God or not, but his fruit was obvious. 

Where the Democrats err is that some Democrats have used the Bible’s message of love to condone sin. There was an Illinois politician who read scripture about love as he made civil unions legal as to compare a homosexual relationship to love and if it’s love it must be okay. An overemphasis on the idea of love irresponsibly condones sin. Real love will correct sin.

Thus, the Republican party nor the Democratic party is completely balanced in the ideas of Christ, the Bible, or the kingdom of God. This is why my full allegiance will always be to Christ above American politics.

Christ is the fulfillment of the law. Rather it comes to not killing babies, practicing homosexuality, fornication, drunkenness, cursing, anger, unforgiveness, adultery, stealing, or any other sin, Christ is the way we experience freedom from all sins. The law by itself isn’t enough and a love for people who practice sin isn’t enough. We all must submit to God individually by faith working out our own salvation as the Bible teaches.

So, before you start to judge your brother or sister for voting differently than you, realize our votes no matter what aren’t enough to fix sin in the hearts of man. Are we truly trusting God?

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Irresponsible Leadership Creates an Occasion to Blaspheme Christ

Thankfully, our country is moving out of an era where an occasion to blaspheme Christ has been given to the American public, onlookers from other countries, and skeptics of faith in Christ alike. This occasion was given by not only authority in the form of the President, but pastors and ministers who claimed to be called to promote the gospel message. Instead, the message of the gospel has been lost and replaced with an over-emphasis of support for a candidate who confuses the idea of what a Christian is―thus making it easy for others to blaspheme Christ.

To blaspheme means to speak irreverently about God or sacred things. When people in authority or in the church loudly proclaim sacred things without the love of God associated with those things; an occasion to blaspheme the God “misrepresented” is provided.
The Bible says it like this:

If I speak in the tongues of men or angels but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. – 1 Corinthians 13:1

A resounding gong and a clanging cymbal is a nuisance. As soon as you try to whine down in quietness and peace a loud resounding gong disturbs you. That is what it has been like in the last four years. One loud, annoying thing after the other. The loud annoying things are what’s focused on instead of the more important focus of walking in the character of love.

The Bible makes it clear that we can do several spectacular things, but without love, the spectacular things do not mean much. If a person isn’t willing to walk in love; it would be better for them to keep their faith or religion a secret. We don’t need to know a person is a Christian if that person isn’t willing to walk in love.

A genuine Christian should be known as a Christian before they open their mouth based on how they treat others—how they love others.
By this everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.” – John 13:35

The Bible warns the Jews in Romans 2 that non-believers will begin to blaspheme God based on the actions of the Jews instead of the true knowledge of God. This is a dangerous thing to be responsible for misrepresenting God in such a fashion:

​You who boast in the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law? As it is written: “God’s name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.” – Romans 2:23-24

The Bible is warning in the above scripture against pushing the law without obeying it. It puts God’s name in a place of irreverence among those who aren’t learned in the way of the Lord. In a time where many Millennials are turning against God, faith, and the gospel; it’s more important than ever that genuine Christians walk in genuine love and truth. The Bible has historically been associated with hate and racism in this country and Trump’s administration bought back horrible memories for many while associating itself with the Bible while promoting hate. Some of us have seen former believers allow their hearts to become hard as they struggled to hold on to faith in a God that they see as promoting hate.

Not that God promotes hate because he doesn’t. Some people simply do not have the discernment nor the knowledge to tell the difference between what is God and what is a person who claims to follow God but acts in opposition to what God stands for. This is why it is so important as leaders to be careful about how we represent a relationship with God to others. The Bible, Christ, and Christianity should be approached with fear and reference, not loud boisterous carelessness. People are important to God as he died for all men. We cannot treat people any kind of way and think it’s okay.

Thankfully, we have an opportunity for something different with Biden in office. My hope is that believers would pray for him just as much as they prayed for Trump. It is my prayer that believers would not disrespect him by saying he isn’t their president when the Bible tells us to pray for and submit to our leaders’ period.

It seems that some of our Christian leaders traded the gospel and mantle to obey Christ for Balaam—fame, money, and notoriety. Our relationship with God should not be used to manipulate who is elected into office or not. I firmly believe that God exalts a person and sits down another and whoever he wills to be in office will be in office. We have to continue trusting God for our future no matter who is in office. It’s my prayer that we would be willing to do the work of healing and humbling ourselves as believers within this nation to begin loving one another as Christ prayed for before he ascended into heaven.

“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. – John 17:20-21


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Overcoming the Fear of Man:

Last week we discussed the fear of man. We discussed the fear of man operating in religious people who seek to confine others to their understandings, personal convictions, and lifestyles. This is indeed a form of bondage that prevents us from being ourselves and causes us to walk in disobedience toward God by obeying the voice of man over the voice of God.
This is a very serious sin because the church is full of people who refuse to use their gifts, talents, or to walk fully in their purposes because they are afraid of being seen the wrong way. These people have not fully developed into their own identity in Christ, but hang on to the idea of how others see them. They find their worth and acceptance in being seen in a particular light by others. The dangerous part of this however is that God has sown seeds of purpose in each one of us.
The purpose God has sown in us is to reflect Christ leading others to him. Those who impose the fear of men on others seek to lead others to themselves instead of Christ. It is deep. How can someone become free from this?

One must learn who they are in Christ and what God says about them:
Have your own intimate relationship with the Lord. Read your Bible. Fast and pray yourself. God will show you things giving you discernment. You’ll know who is operating out of prophesying the Word of the Lord over you and who is operating out of control only seeking to shape you into a replica of themselves. He will begin to illuminate to you your purpose. Your purpose is what God has called you to do. God has a parable in the Bible about talents he’s given men. In the parable, God was upset because some knew better.

They knew God expected a return on the talent he’d invested, but in fear, the talent holder hid his talent. He never sought to multiply it increasing the return to God who’d given it. Who in your life are you fearing more than God that you are willing to disobey God in hiding your talent?

God’s word tells us to stir up the gifts in us. This particular scripture is of apostle Paul, who shared with his mentee Timothy that he has a gift of faith. He had noticed this gift of faith not only in him but in his grandmother Lois as well.

He is building up Timothy’s confidence to know that the gift of faith is his and it has been a gift that’s been prevalent in his bloodline. Therefore, Paul continues by sharing with young Timothy that he is not to be afraid because God has not given him a spirit of fear. What is Paul saying? Paul is saying operate out of what is coming from God not what is coming from man.

The fear of man comes from man. It does not come from God. We are not to operate out of it.

When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that it’s in thee also.
Wherefore, I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands. For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and love, and a sound mind. – 2 Timothy 1:5-7

Next, Paul lets Timothy know that he should not be ashamed of the testimony of Christ, but he must embrace the afflictions that come with carrying our cross. Facing the pressure of the fear of man is all a part of carrying our cross and walking out our purpose. As I said last week, God will send those who will walk with us and support us to remind us that we aren’t crazy. We do need that for our own personal stability. Paul was an appropriate example of that for Timothy. When Timothy faced opposition for walking out who God called him to be; he had the support of the Holy Spirit as well as reminders in apostle Paul, and his grandmother Lois that he was doing the right thing. God will give us discernment to see this when we walk with him.

Once we know who we are; we can become bold:
The Bible says that the righteous are as bold as a lion, but the wicked flee when no one pursues after them. God increases our boldness by allowing us to walk through uncomfortable tests and through the test on to the end of the test we see that we are okay. What we feared was not as big a deal as we’d thought. When we walk with this assurance that God is with us and what we face; he’ll bring us through. We learn there is no reason for us not to be bold.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers us out of them all.

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Who is Missing Out Because You Refuse to Be Your Authentic Self?

So much is involved with deciding to be ourselves. There is fear, the opinions of others, the possibility to be seen as an outsider among one’s own kind, and mental and emotional exhaustion if we are addicted to the acceptance of others. These are just a few reasons why many decide to blend in with the status quo of what’s expected of them.

A clear example can be culture—religious church culture in particular. Various teachings have been passed down in church culture that has become expectations of being accepted as a genuine and mature Christian and these teachings have nothing to do with being in the faith or not. They’ve been passed down as spiritual law and authority when they are the opinions and interpretations of men.

Those who operate outside of the agreed thought are seen as outsiders and rebellious. Pride of the old teachings and ways overrides the leading of the Holy Spirit and the proper interpretation of the Word of God. Those who hold firmly to the old teachings pridefully force their ideas on others while disowning those who refuse to conform.

There is nothing new under the sun. This type of pressure has always existed. It exists as a tool of Satan to prevent some from walking authentically in how Christ called them to walk, but rather choosing the fear of man instead.  The fear of man is when we choose to respect what man says over what God has already said. The fear of man is being afraid to operate outside of the group, the majority, or those who rule by attempting to control the thoughts of others by pressuring one to conform to his/her ideas.

Jesus Christ, the Chief, experienced this very same pressure again and again throughout the new testament. It got so bad that the religious leaders called him a blasphemer while seeking to murder him on more than one occasion. However, Jesus was too bold in his identity to conform to this pressure. He simply knew who he was. He also knew that there were too many others whose lives were attached to his obedience to being himself and operating in his true identity as the Son of God and God in the flesh.

Had Jesus conformed to the religious elite of his day who mentally abused him with their accusations; none of us would be saved today. We would all be lost and Jesus would have lived a comfortable life. I’m convinced that Jesus would not have been able to live with himself knowing who he was and denying that to make the religious elite comfortable. Instead, Christ embraced who he was. He embraced who he was to the point of correcting all who were open to hearing the truth.

His life was our example to continue forward in the personal revelation of who Christ reveals to us we are and what he reveals to us to do. We are to continue being our authentic selves in Christ in the face of those who misunderstand us, who speak evil of us—demoting us from who we are to something lower like with Jesus. Jesus was demoted to be a blasphemer in the eyes of some of the well-accepted religious elite of his day.

It’s okay if everyone does not see us properly as long as we see ourselves properly. We can only do this by staying connected to God and his Word. God will send others willing to walk with us and believe in us as well. Jesus had those who walked with him closely and believed in him. It wasn’t until later that the acceptance of Jesus would be so well accepted worldwide. I’m sure in Jesus’ day many wondered if they should believe the religious elite’s opinion of Jesus or Jesus himself. Now, thousands of years later our very lives hang on the life of Jesus and the revelations about him he was able to share. His obedience to being himself has saved many. What are others missing out on that we are supposed to contribute due to the fear of man? What could others be missing out on that we are supposed to provide to them by being our authentic selves?

Want to gain the confidence to be your authentic self? Subscribe to my email for updates on my identity class coming soon. You’ll also receive a free gift: https://tinyurl.com/potentialspousehandout

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The Sin of Unbelief

The sin of unbelief is something that will keep us in cycles of sin simply because we don’t believe God is good. We don’t believe in the gospel fully and we don’t believe we are enough to receive God’s goodness. I was reminded of this when viewing a film this past week about Hosea. The film is called, “Sinners Wanted.” The blessing of the Lord could be right before our eyes and we will not see it due to unbelief.  This is what the woman in the film depicted and this is why it is so important that we guard what we allow ourselves to meditate on and we become intentional about building our faith.

But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy (holy, consecrated) faith and praying in the Holy Spirit. – Jude 1:20

We all will have circumstances that test our faith. Years ago, I remember feeling like a bad example and failure while speaking to kids in public schools about healthy relationships and abstinence. The kids would always ask me if I was in a relationship and I’d say no. This one day when I was asked the question, I began to feel the above emotions of guilt and failure. I took a bathroom break in between classes and God spoke to me clearly asking me this question, “Where is your faith?”

Unbelief causes us to become stuck on how things appear, but because God loves us, he gives us his perspective which builds our faith. I share in my first book, “The Single Christian Woman’s Guide” how God bought resolve to the encroaching unbelief that attempted to ensue me through furthering the discussion through his word. In short, God let me know that things would not always be as I’d seen them at that time. There was another side of this singleness journey I had to get to. God has been walking with me and his word has helped to build my faith along the way.

You see our faith-walk is a journey. No one has it all together, but building our faith through God’s word helps us to walk safe, secure, and sound.

Religious people are some of the hardest people to get to believe the gospel because of being blinded by their religious piety. For example, when I was in college, I interviewed a Jehovah’s witness, Jewish priest, Muslim minister, and Christian for a brief documentary presented as a project in college.

The Jew shared how her Jewish place of worship stood on the belief that Jesus was not as honorable as Moses. They did not look at Jesus as the Son of God or savior of the world, but as a good Jew, but not as good as Moses. This was dishonoring to the Biblical fact that Moses along with other figures and scriptures in the old testament only exist to point to Jesus Christ because Jesus Christ is the only way for man to be saved.

Jesus had to go into Egypt to be preserved and grow up into the God-man who delivered his people—all who place their trust in him. Moses likewise had to go into Egypt as a baby to be preserved from the Pharaoh who sought all of the lives of the male children 2 and under. Moses, in the process, learned the Egyptian ways and gained the favor that allowed him to intercede on behalf of the Hebrews—his blood brethren. In this way along with other similarities, Moses was what some Bible scholars call a type of Christ, which is an image-bearer that points directly to Christ.

Even though Christ stood right in front of the religious leaders, they did not recognize him as Christ but instead despised him. Meanwhile, those who were first to worship Christ were called Magi, which are non-religious wise men of the world.

In summary, it skews our perception to operate out of unbelief. Operating out of skewed perceptions is dangerous and leads to sin. It causes us to deny the blessing of the Lord while operating out of a lower than mindset. We have to be diligent with building ourselves up with God’s word to avoid the sin of unbelief.

Unbelief will cause us to give up on trusting in God for our deliverance, freedom, and the right as those made in his image too, like Moses, point others to him. Unbelief will cause us to return to what is familiar rather than stepping out in the unknown of faith.

The earlier mentioned film is a depiction of Gomer and Hosea—a prostitute and man of God who got married in the old testament at God’s command. God commanded this to be a metaphor for Christ and the church. No matter where we are at in our faith-walk, God is still committed to us. He still holds up his end of the marriage when we do not, and this in and of itself should compel us to seek to walk in faith in Christ.

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You Don’t Have to Be Clergy to Be in Ministry:

There are those of us who have heavy callings on our lives from God but face challenges of sometimes feeling unworthy to complete those callings for the following reasons. We haven’t been ordained as ministers in the church. We have not been accepted by the in-crowd of the church elite. We are not popular. However, none of these are qualifications in the eyes of God to be used by God in ministry. These are the traditions and expectations of man.

All traditions and expectations of men aren’t bad; they are simply what they are. God is not confined to work within the structures of what man expects. God is the one who calls men. He is the one who promotes one and sets another down (Ps 75:7.) With this understanding, we ought not to avoid walking out our full calling for fear of not being accepted in the right circles by man. Our acceptance, worth, value, and confidence to be obedient to God should come from God, not man.

Please, understand that I am not promoting rebellion or heresy. There are various structures of authority God has ordained and will work within, but God is unconventional. He doesn’t need man’s permission. Perhaps God may have provided some with a gift of teaching to work outside of the church as life-coaches, who honor God and draw others to God. While others may be called to act and use their acting platforms to share the gospel. Do not despise your spiritual call of God because you do not traditionally communicate your call.

In the Bible, God used several ministers of His who weren’t clergy, but it was clear they loved God. Esther was called to be a queen of a non-Jewish nation. She was groomed from childhood and placed into a position where she was used by God to minister to and intercede for others.
David was called to be a king. A true non-traditional call of God. This call carried great weight as King David points to the lineage of Christ. He was a godly man used to keep a nation’s heart turned toward the Lord.

Jesus Christ, himself. He is the Son of God, but he was despised by the religious structure. He was a simple carpenter, who traveled sharing the message of the kingdom of God. The Bible never shows Jesus ordained in a church. If anything, he fit in with practicing the Jewish customs but stood out by his unique interpretations of the law. However, Jesus not only spoke with the authority of his Father in heaven, but he being God in the flesh spoke upon the authority of himself. The key to walking out non-traditional callings by God is to remain humble under the one who gives us authority Jesus Christ.

Another key is to remain committed to God and to hear and follow his leading. God will give us men and women along the way who remind us of who we are and what we are called to do. The confidence that comes from God should allow us to block out any ideas that would make us feel unworthy to be used of God because we aren’t clergy. I honor all clergy and am thankful for their sacrifice. However, this isn’t the only way God calls us to minister. We are all ambassadors for Christ―Whether we are a carpenter, like Jesus, a political official, like Esther, or David.

We need to be faithful and give God 100 as He is the one we are living to honor. He deserves to get out of us what he has invested in us—similar to the parable of the man who hid his talents instead of investing it and getting a return. God expects a return on his investment of purpose and giftings in all of us—not just clergy.

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3 Lessons We Can Learn From the Life of Chadwick Boseman

I’ve always loved Chadwick as an actor, but I will be honest. I did not know how awesome he was as a whole person until after he passed away. I began watching several videos of him online and each one ministered something awesome to my spirit. I share below 3 lessons I’ve noted from him that are like a confirmation to me as a woman of God on my journey of life:

Be willing to take a loss for your convictions trusting that God has something better:
Chadwick told an amazing story of his first television job on a soap opera. He was to play a young Black male with no historical background, who lived out a life of victim-hood making poor choices. He felt the role was stereotypical of African American males. He discussed this with his bosses on that show, who ultimately made the choice to fire him. Chadwick took a loss.

That job agreed to pay him the most money he’d ever seen in his life. After being fired, he was thrust back into the world of auditioning, being broke, scraping up change to get to auditions. He was told by his agent he would not get a job in some time because he was seen as difficult. He could only question if he made the right decision. Of course, he did. How many of us have taken a loss for holding strong to our convictions and values?

Continue to follow your convictions given by God; it will set you up for the very best that God has for you. God ordained Chadwick to play some of the very best roles that showed our people in such an honorable light. This was a part of his purpose to give African-Americans and all people hope and he did that well.

Obey God Quickly; You Never Know What Impact It May Have:
On an interview I listened to of Chadwick, he shared that he was on tour outside of the U.S.―finishing up promotions for the Get On Up film when he heard God speak to him in his spirit. God said, “Get international calling on your phone.” Immediately, Chadwick did so. Not long after that, he received a call where he was asked to play the role of Black Panther in the new Avengers film.

Had he not obeyed God, he could have missed out on the opportunity. God has a way of leading and guiding us. The Bible says that the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord. Many times, we limit God speaking to us to only spiritual things, but God is involved in every area of our lives.

No Dream is too Big for your Faith
I’ve been reading in the book of Matthew where Jesus has been healing people according to their faith. In life, we experience things that kind of shock our faith. Mainly disappointment. Perhaps we prayed for someone to be healed and they died or we did not get an opportunity we were believing for. Perhaps God had something bigger in mind. Perhaps our loved one who died needed to experience being in heaven with God. Perhaps the opportunity we wanted was too small for us. Chadwick wrote in his journal years ago before making it big as an actor that he’d like to play the Black Panther in a film. Perhaps that dream was from God because it happened. It’s easy to dismiss a dream in disappointment when we feel it is too big, but all we need is a small grain of mustard seed faith. Hold on to whatever smidget of faith you have—no matter how foolish it may look. Perhaps the Lord wants to use you as an example to bring it to pass.

Thank you, Chadwick! We will continue to love and miss you.

See a few videos below where some of the above are mentioned:

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Don’t Be a Silly Woman:

There are some pitfalls for single women that would cause us to act foolishly. I will list a few that I’ve seen and how to avoid them. Let’s first define what it means to be silly:

Having or showing a lack of common sense or judgment, absurd foolish (Google Dictionary).

Some women have allowed themselves to act in a silly manner without realizing it due to simply just wanting to be married. They want the ABC and the 123 of how to get a husband. They do not care for God’s purpose, process, inner-healing to be able to choose wisely. They just simply want a man―period. These are women who lack discernment, are full of pride, and have tunnel vision not for God’s plan for their lives, but only what they want.

This sort of attitude can cause a woman to act foolishly. She bets herself on different partners accepting whatever they are giving. If it doesn’t work out, she points the finger at them for not being up to snuff when in reality she failed to take responsibility for her choice and her future.

A cycle of bad choices like this can cause desperation for the truth and doing things God’s way or it can cause further unbelief and hardness of heart. Those who choose the latter fall into the lie that there are no good men and it isn’t possible to have a healthy relationship so these women may give in to the passions of the flesh accepting sexual gratification over real love.

For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts. – 2 Timothy 3:6

This is a trap to condemn women to a life of acting as silly women, who settle for much less than what they’re worthy of. This type of woman never took the time to get acquainted with her worth and value. She defined herself by others only. This is a terrible life that none of us have to live. Jesus died to give all of us life more abundant. That means somethings we don’t have to put up with. Some bad relationships can be avoided. We can be healthy, whole, and women who enjoy life.
Consider getting my series of books for single women: The Single Christian Woman’s Guide, The Wholeness Action Plan, and Patterns of the Heart: Discernment in Choosing a Potential Spouse. These books provide the tools for women to walk in wisdom. The Bible says that wisdom is a defense. It protects us from the things that break us and preserves us for the things that reinforce our value. Please, don’t allow yourself to become a silly woman. Please, know that God has more for you.

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How Can John Gray & Others Recover from Sin?

I think when a leader falls into sin; the church’s response is either of two extremes. One, to cancel the leader who fell into sin or to cover the leader’s sin in such a way as to not hold him responsible for his error due to his position. I think both extremes are wrong. It’s important that leaders are held accountable as the scripture says they receive the stricter judgment because they have an entry point to lead others astray. Their visibility gives them greater influence and with that a greater responsibility to properly carry the weight of leadership.

Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. – James 3:1

There is a level of transparency and humility needed to recover from sin in general, but this transparency and humility required carries a greater weight as a public figure. Judgment from the mature and immature will be a given. I hesitate to judge others—meaning casting a punishment on them for their wrongs or even attempting to determine exactly where their heart is. I would not feel comfortable saying John Gray is simply evil due to his fault because I simply do not know his heart. I can only judge by what I’ve seen. This is in line with scripture that says:

“Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7

Some genuinely have undealt with issues where they have formed unhealthy sinful habits that they rely on to bandage their real issues, yet they still genuinely want to obey God. While others have no regard for God. They do not seek to obey him or love him at all. The latter are those who take God’s grace for granted. They misunderstand God’s grace as a pass for sin rather than the patient enduring of the Lord with our weakness and empowerment for us to overcome sin.

God’s grace is not a pass for sin. It’s His empowerment to overcome sin. Becoming acquainted with our weaknesses, in this case, the prowess to sin, should cause us to humble ourselves before God seeking his power to overcome sin. A person with an evil heart who simply dishonors God; there is nothing that can be done for him/her unless the heart changes toward the Lord.

God’s word warns about those who consistently crucify the Lord with their deeds saying there is no more sacrifice left for their sin:
Dear friends, if we deliberately continue sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there is no longer any sacrifice that will cover these sins. – Hebrews 10:26

Again, the above is for someone who simply disregards God’s law who isn’t struggling to obey God but simply willfully giving in to sin. Only God can perceive the difference. It’s like David who was involved in sin but still had a heart after God. He was broken at the fact that he had broken God’s law once he came to himself. Sin has a way of blinding us to the truth when we are in it and sometimes God will send others or allow life circumstances to allow us to come back to who we are in Christ. This happened to King David. He humbled himself accepting the judgment that was allowed because of his actions.
John Gray and those currently involved in sin must humble themselves, confess their sin to God, and trust him for forgiveness and cleansing from unrighteousness:

God’s faithfulness to his word to forgive us is instant, but the purification from all unrighteousness is a process that we have to continually submit to for the rest of our lives. It starts with us taking responsibility.

Thankfully, John Gray confessed he was wrong in a message to his church. This is the beginning. He and others struggling with sin will have to continue to take responsibility. This means that he cannot deflect the responsibility for his adulterous indiscretion on the women or woman involved like so many church people do.

In the case of sexual infidelity or fornication, the church has had a history of vilifying and demonizing the woman as a Jezebel or Delilah; while giving the man a pass. This behavior deflects from the real issue and provides an opportunity for the same sin to re-occur over and over again.

Deflection is the opposite of taking responsibility. While the woman/women will have to take responsibility for themselves. John Gray will have to take full responsibility for his action as a man of God and a leader who carries the potential to lead others astray on a greater level.

John will have to deal with the root of why this was allowed to happen. The Bible says that a good tree cannot produce bad fruit. Somewhere there were bad seeds planted in him that produced bad fruit. This will have to be examined and resolved. This will be a process.

We’ve had other leaders in the body of Christ go through similar experiences. Da’truth and Tye Tribett had been involved in adultery in the past with other women while on tour. Da’truth humbled himself and went into a process of being restored and mentored by Cece Winans and her husband. Tye Tribett also went through a process.  It was not just chucked up in a confession, prayer of forgiveness, and vilification of the woman involved.

Instead, Da’truth took responsibility for his actions, and he and his wife were restored. He’d even preached on how he’d let his guard down allowing certain things in that opened him up to compromise. The sin of adultery is a thing of the past for him and the experience made him stronger. He continues to minister across the country and properly rep the name of Jesus. Those who are mature will need to walk with John Gray to help him to deconstruct the mindset that opened him up to sin. He will need to be built up and restored in the truth.

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. – Galatians 6:1

In short, John Gray and others struggling with sin will have to humble themselves, confess their sin, and ask for forgiveness from God. In the process, he will have to continue to take full responsibility for his actions not deflecting what happened on the other woman/women, and begin a process of repentance.

Repentance means to have a change of mind and to change directions. He will have to work with other mature believers who will assist him in deconstructing the wrong mindsets that caused the wrong patterns of sin in his life. He will need to be restored to the right mindset that is in line with God’s word and way of doing things. His new mindset will cause new actions that lead to deliverance and freedom from sin.

I am genuinely praying for John Gray, his wife, and anyone involved. This can be a lesson to many both inside and outside of the church that if there is hope for John Gray; there is hope for others struggling with sin if we are willing to submit ourselves to God’s process. It’s not God’s will that any should be lost, but that all should come to repentance; that includes God’s leaders too, who are also recipients of God’s grace. 

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