I firmly believe that it is God who puts people together and who causes others to be single for a season ordained for that person in order to carry out the specific purpose that God has in mind. I also believe that whatever calling rests upon an individual’s life whether single or married that God will give that individual the grace to do all that God is calling for with his specific assignment for him.
With that said we know that the Bible teaches us that singleness is a gift and marriage is a gift (1 Corinthians 7:7i). The question is what are we doing with are current state of singleness for those of us out there who are single? Are we being good stewards of this gift God has entrusted to us or are we focusing on trying to trade our gift for something else. Below are a few things that I think would help singles to better enjoy their time of singleness, and yes just like any other gift should be enjoyed, the gift of singleness should be enjoyed and maximized as well.
Having a positive outlook of what it means to be single: Unfortunately, singleness is too often looked at as a negative thing or a disadvantage, but singleness has a lot of advantages. We know that the Bible speaks about a single person’s first priority is that of being concerned with the things of God and living a life of holiness in both body and in spirit. It is an honor and a privilege that God would set us apart to be concerned specifically with his purpose. It shows that he respects us and trusts us to be concerned with the things that concern him. This opens up the door for greater intimacy with God which results in greater understanding of him. Unfortunately, a lot of people aren’t privy to this because either they have another calling such as marriage that distracts them from being able to have an intimate relationship with God in such an easy manner or they are seeking after other things.
Prioritizing to live a life of holiness in body and in spirit ii: When we make a priority of living for God in a way that is holy both in body and in spirit, we free ourselves up from the distractions of condemnation that we often have to fight when we are struggling with sin, and we invite God into our lives on a more intimate level. Sin separates us from God and his presence, but the opposite of sin, which is holiness and obedience causes us to welcome the presence of God.
The reward for holiness is the presence of God. God’s word teaches that the man that follows holiness and walks in peace toward men will see Godiii. I believe that is significant of a greater intimacy with God. Lately, I’ve been in a season where I’ve been waking up and going to sleep feeling the presence of God. That in it’s own way is my fuel to say, as I go into this next year no matter what I have to face, I will fight to be obedient even when it is hard because I remember God’s presence. I remember what it is like to feel his love and to love him in return, and that is what I want to do. The Bible says that if we love God we keep his commandments. Let God’s love for you and the idea of focusing on his love for you be the fuel that makes you willing to fight your flesh or any sinful threat that would seek to separate you from the presence of the Lord.
Not allowing yourself to be distracted: When you have made up in your mind to prioritize living a life of holiness to God, don’t be surprised if all of a sudden distractions pop-up out of no where. During those times, that distractions show their face, we have to be intentional in making a choice not to entertain the things that God has not ordained. Whether it is a man or a woman who is not a God-send in your life, or if it is an idol that is causing you to waste your precious time. Idols could be anything that you have chosen to give the greater attention to rather than what God has called you to for this season of your life. An idol could be a friendship that God no longer has ordained for you, or fantasying about sex where you have lifted up the idea of sex so much to the point where you can no longer focus on the fact that you are supposed to be single right now i.e. not getting any. God has called us to live a life of peace in whatever state that we are in. Normally, when we do not have peace in our current situation, we may have either outgrown that situation or we may have shifted our focus to something that it is not yet time for thus creating frustration for where God has currently called us.
Being productive: I know we have heard all of these things before, but it doesn’t hurt to be reminded that the time of being single is a great time to realize those gifts and talents that God has placed within us. Being productive requires keeping our attention on the things that will bring forth good fruit in our lives and hopefully spill over into the lives of others not backbiting, gossiping, or being jealous of one another, but being mature. Being productive allows us to take leaps of faith that we may feel more reserved to take later when we have a family to support. Getting started with being productive can be as simple as using what you already have in your hands. If you have a job, you can use some of the income from your job as seed money to do whatever it is God is calling you to do. Every one doesn’t have to get behind your plan to make it work. You get behind your vision and other people will see you behind your vision and they will begin to support you as well.
I remember when God told me to put my website up. I was very reserved in doing so telling the Lord I would need confirmation before I followed through on putting up my website. I immediately got a text message after praying that prayer saying that God hasn’t lite a candle for it to be hiddeniv. It was so cool how that happened. One of my mentors who texted me didn’t even know I had just prayed that prayer.
It wasn’t my idea to be somewhat in front of people blogging and such, it was God’s idea. I never would have known what God wanted for my life without prioritizing him and seeking him for myself in prayer and reading of his word. Whenever we prioritize God we will find ourselves ending up exactly where we are supposed to be, and we’ll be the most productive than we can ever be.
Being Thankful: Being thankful helps us to enjoy the right now, to be thankful for what has been, and to have a hope for what will be. When we are thankful for what we already have, we don’t have time to wish we had more. Thankful people maximize what they already have.
Sowing into the lives of others: Sowing and reaping is one of the greatest principles that God has set up in the earth. God looks at the idea of a person not reaping what he has sown as mockery toward himself. It just doesn’t happen. God does not allow himself to be mocked in that way. Whatever a person sows, he will reap (Galatians 6:7). That’s God’s word and his word is bond. Therefore, as singles we should not be lacking in anything as long as we have some seed to sow, and God gives seed to those who have a heart to sowv. So, if we need love, we should find someone to sow love into for example, a church mother, widow, elder person, family member, or a child that we are mentoring. The point is if we sow love we will get love in return. If we sow our listening ear, we will get a listening ear. Sowing and reaping isn’t just about money although it can be used in that manner. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to look back after we are ready to settle down and get married and see all of the fruit of our labor as singles and say to ourselves wow that was really something.
Unfortunately, a lot of people who are married now did not have such fortunate single lives as some of us have been afforded the opportunity to have. Some people, who are now married, wasted their singleness trying to fit in doing any and everything under the sun that they should not have been doing and have nothing to show for it.
Others married before they really realized who they were, or what they wanted out of life. Some married people leave their marriages to find themselves. While others wait until they are finished raising their kids to pursue their dreams. If God has given you an opportunity now as a single to be productive as you enjoy your life and change the lives of others in a positive way than maximize that gift until he decides to say you’ve done well with that gift now here is another gift. Remember, that is what God did with the stewards over the talents in Matthew 25. Those, who were productive received more, but those who weren’t productive, what they had got taken away. Be sure to honor the current gift of singleness.
Finally, Not forgetting to do something for yourself: This is the one that I had been the weakest at,but I must say that I’ve gotten much better at being purposeful to do something for myself. Unfortunately, as singles sometimes we can do so much for others that we forget about ourselves and maybe some of the things that we would like to do. If you’ve always loved to dance, now is the time to take your dancing class, if you love to travel, than budget your money and get your travel on. Make some time for yourself to do things that you enjoy.
iFor I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 1 Corinthians 7:7 (KJV)
God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others. 1 Corinthians 7:7 (Message Bible)
ii The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 1 Corinthians 7:34
iiiFollow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Hebrews 12:14
iv Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Matthew 5:14-15
v Now he that ministereth seed to the sower both minister bread for your food, and multiply your seed sown, and increase the fruits of your righteousness; 2 Corinthians 9:10
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