I heard a story on a radio program that I sometimes listen to on my lunch-break. The story was from a gentlemen who called in and shared how he met his wife. He was in the army and saw a woman standing on the corner that he could not get to in time. She had already left. He asked his friend who was standing near if he knew her. To which the friend responded yes and provided the gentlemen with the woman’s address. The gentlemen wrote her a telegram stating I saw you on the corner and you we’re the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I am in the army, badge number such and such, and I was wondering if you would write me sometime. Now, forty years later that woman is the mother of his three children and his wife of 35 years.
Of course, when I heard that story I thought about how beautiful it was to hear how a man was so enamored with a woman that he was willing to do whatever it took to get her attention to possibly be his wife.
It seems nowadays that things are the other way around. If you do not have a solid foundation or support system around you as a woman its easy to forget that we are still the prize just as much today as we were yesterday.
Prize: A reward for victory or superiority, as in a contest or competition. Something that is won in a lottery or the like. Anything striven for, worth striving for, or much valued
– Dictionary.com
The Bible says, “Who can find a virtuous woman, for her price is far above rubies. (Proverbs 31:10) The definition of price according to dictionary.com is, “That which must be given, done or , undergone to obtain a thing.” This woman in Proverbs 31 is the type of woman that I am referring to in this blog. The world tries to make it seem like if you live for God, and if you live as a virtuous woman it is in vain, and you will only end up alone, but that is not the truth. The reality is you are a woman of high worth, and high price, and not just anyone can have you, it takes a certain type of man to handle you, and that man will be crafted in the hands of God himself.
The man who recognizes and realizes the woman as a prize or as worth striving for, meaning to do whatever is required to win her, is the man that we want. Sometimes us girls are so love-starved that we forget that we have a choice and accept the first man that looks somewhat reasonable, but really isn’t willing to step up to the plate and earn our love. It may sound mean, but some of these guys just don’t deserve us. It doesn’t make sense to take something very valuable and give it to someone who will not value it. That situation can only demote a woman’s worth and bring her down.
“Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.”
– Matthew 7:6
If a man doesn’t honor you enough now to do what’s required to get you, if you do catch his attention and snag him into a relationship with you, he may not be willing to do what it takes to keep you. He may even despise you and go after the woman he really wants.
Rachel was the one that Jacob really wanted. The Bible says that Jacob loved Rachel. He did what was required by Rachel’s father Laban working 14 years for her hand in marriage. Leah was the one that Jacob despised and hated because Leah was not the woman of choice, but she was forced on him by Laban (Genesis 29:30-32). Leah, even though married to Jacob, had to deal with rejection from him, and she also found herself fighting for his approval.
The competition between Rachel and Leah fighting for Jacob’s love and approval had gotten so bad that both Rachel and Leah offered their maid-servants to have sex with their husband in order to gain approval from him. (Genesis 30:4-13) When a woman is placed in a situation where her worth is compromised, it causes her to compromise herself and, it causes her to do things that she normally would not do. Women in this type of situation end up getting the short end of the stick. Jacob got to have sex with four different women all because of the insecurities the women faced.
Ladies, this is not the type of scenario that we want to find ourselves in stuck with a man who doesn’t really want us, fighting for his approval trying to convince him that we are worth having.
It’s interesting that the Bible doesn’t share how Leah felt about the whole idea of being given away to Jacob in the first place. It only shares that it went against tradition to give the younger daughter away before the eldest daughter, and that is why she was given to this man who clearly did not want her. Leah faced the issues of what others thought of her, her family, and society at the time. It was probably a general consensus that it would be hard for her to find a man who really wanted her for her because of her eye problem. The Bible says she was tender-eyed (Genesis 29:17.)
However, that doesn’t mean that her worth was any less than Rachel’s. Her eyes we’re just one part of her. She could have had the body of Tyra Banks, and the beauty of Beyonce, with tender-eyes. She could have had a beautiful spirit, and several skills that would bring value to any household. Like Leah, women today face similar challenges. We have pressure from society, family, and friends asking the question why are you still single as if there is something wrong with us for being single.
Leah did not have much choice because of the times that she lived in, but as women today we do have a choice. Despite the pressures we face, what really matters is how we view ourselves. Do we see ourselves as being a prize, who is worthy of real-love, and being swept off of our feet with a surprise letter like the girl in the beginning of this blog.
If we view ourselves the right way realizing that we are who God says we are: A royal priesthood, prized far above rubies, a crown to our husbands, meaning we will bring honor and a good name to the man who wins us, realizing our merchandise is good and we will not allow our candles to go out by night, meaning what we have as virtuous women, we understand that men just can’t find that anywhere, and when the times get hard and it doesn’t look like things will go our way, we will still remain virtuous because being virtuous is not just what we do, but who we are. (1 Peter 2:9, Proverbs 31:10, Proverbs 12:4, 31:18).
If we believe all of what I just mentioned that the Bible says about us virtuous women, then we will be willing to wait for the man who treats us as such. In order for a man to treat us as such, he has to be able to compliment us in the same way or more. So, raise the standard ladies because you are still the prize.
If you liked this article, also read Women are the prize & Men are the Heroes.
“Who can find a virtuous woman, for her price is far above rubies”
True, but very few of those around these days.
As a black woman, I say men are the prize! Because women have to wait around and hope a desireable man will choose her to carry his last name and legacy in her womb. And plus men will always have more options than women.